Can my baby be awake more than 2 hours? He never wants to settle. Is this ok/normal?

[user1490025201]

Hi,

I have a gorgeous 13 week old boy, who proves very difficult to settle for naps and bedtime. I get that babies aren't supposed to be up more than 2 hours, but he never appears sleepy and regardless of when I try to put him down for a sleep - he won't sleep until he's been awake 2.5-2.75 hrs - and therefore I always have 45 mins of trying to settle him through tears for naps, and a lot longer settling for bed at 7. Even if I catch a sleeping cue, it is still the same amount of awake time. Shall I just take it that is his optimal awake time and set his routine around that, or am I missing the trick and he's overtired? I usually start to wind things down from when he's been up from an hour and a half (though sometimes I start winding down closer to two hours - as there down't seem much point beforehand, as he will still go to sleep at 2.5-2.75 hours).

His sleep in the evening is good (once we settle him to sleep) - and after a dream feed he goes on to anywhere between 5.30-7am.

Just as he is so difficult to settle, I can't work out what I'm doing wrong - and whether I am just trying to put him down for a nap before he is ready? And I should just put him down nearer to 2.5 hrs? Any advice much appreciated.

(Just in case this info is relevant - he is a very good eater, combination fed, and a very good weight - he was 6.6kg at 10 weeks. He is tracking against his 75% birth weight and is 91% on height. I have been doing the Gina Ford Routine since he was 2 weeks old. At 3 months she completely takes out the afternoon nap, but I think this is too much, so am going to keep this is - as he crashes otherwise).

How easy it is to settle baby for a daytime nap is dependant on two key things:

• awake time and so if baby is over-tired or under-tired
• the efficiency of the settling method used

You seem to be focusing entirely on awake time as the defining factor.

A baby with a super-effective settling method could be put down to sleep at any point in a large window of the tiredness scale, and still go to sleep within 5-15 minutes.

A baby without an effective settling technique might take a long time and a lot of stress to get to sleep whether under-tired, just-tired or over-tired.

And then there's the massive middle ground between the two. Some babies will have an ok established settling method and if you catch then at the right tiredness point, going to sleep is super-easy and quick. But miss the window and it gets more difficult. And every other possibility on the sliding scale of how easily a baby goes to sleep.

It could be that your DS is under tired and is better with longer awake times.

It could be that the method you are using to get baby to sleep could be improved so that baby goes to sleep more easily. Then you may well find that 90m-2h awake time works better.

Or maybe you won't. But if baby cries the same if awake time is 1.5h, 2h, 2.5h, 3h... You you have to draw a line somewhere, at some point, and realise that maybe the reason for being difficult to settle is not to do with awake time.

I always have 45 mins of trying to settle him through tears for naps

I don't think that even Gina Ford would recommend this.

Going to sleep has generally taken my children 5-10 minutes when they were babies. It might take up to 20 minutes if over-tired and can be as quick as 1 or 2 minutes if at the spot-on just-tired point. I use a dummy though. And movement or swaddle at this age. So no crying.

My 14 week old daughter is like this. I spent so long paranoid she would get over tired, I was just trying to force her to sleep when she was under tired! We went on holiday a few weeks ago, which threw my 'Only awake for 1.5 hrs' rule out the window - best thing that ccould held have happened! Now, we wake at 7am, nap from 9-11ish, then she will literally be awake until around 3pm! Then another nap for about 2.5 hours. Then she stays downstairs with us until we go to bed at 9.30 (when we start her bath etc). She may have a 30 min sleep downstairs whilst we are having dinnner etc, but not always.

Since being less panicky about her awake times, she naps so much better - I swaddle, dummy, white noise, put her down and she is asleep within 5 minutes. Before this, it was taking me up to 45 mins to settle her to sleep for a 40minute nap! She sleeps through the night, and is such a happy little baby.

Ps - I'm very aware this is likely to be temporary and her sleep will change in an instant! Just enjoying it whilst it lasts.....

Dd1 didn't sleep in the daytime ever until she was over 3 mos old. She didn't start napping properly (and then only in the afternoons) until she was 12mos.

The first time she fell asleep in the day she was about 14 weeks. I called dh at work and made him come home as it was so out of character and I was worried about her.

All babies are different. I don't think any of my three have slept more than once during the day though - I have always been envious of those with babies who nap in the morning and then again in the afternoon...

I wouldn't worry too much about the 2 hour thing; my 16 week old DD will often do the 2 hour awake routine in the morning then late afternoon will stay awake for 3-4 hours and always has done. I base it on when she starts fussing and doesn't need a feed etc as a cue to her being tired and it's generally right.