Can't get out the house!!

[Prusik]

Hi,

I don't know whether anyone has any advice, I'm really struggling with my sanity these days and it's worse because DS has been poorly (HV is trying to convince me to go to GP).

DS is 7.5 months old and is so so reliant on his sleep. He pretty much sleeps 7.30-7 at night with one quick feed at about 4am. He'll get up and by the time we have milk and breakfast he's on melt down at about 9/9.30 for a nap. He'll sleep up to 2 hours, so generally until 11. Lunch is at 12 and no matter how I try, I can't get him to stay awake beyond 1/1.30. Generally for another 90 minutes. The only place he will sleep is in his cot or the car. If we're out in the buggy and it's nap time he'll pretty much cry scream blue murder until he's back in his car seat.

I didn't put him in this routine. This has ended up how he does it and the routine he's put himself in. I think it's great apart from I'm really struggling to get anywhere. All classes seem to be around 10.30 and he really isn't ready to wake around 10 to get ready. He cries for a nap within half an hour if I wake him too early.

I'm just becoming more and more isolated. I rely on friends coming to me but they want to go places with their babies. Do I just stay stuck at home for the next few months? My friends seem to have babies that cope with tiredness but DS just has epic meltdowns.

Oh poor love x he is in a really normal napping routine but it's so hard when they won't nap out.

Partly it's about timing things perfectly (be ready in advance to walk out the door as he wakes - that gives you 90 mins to do something)

I've always found baby groups are at the wrong time. I tend to do coffee with friends instead?

Are you a single parent?

Do you have friends close by you could meet for lunch when he's awake?

I guess because my friends babies only seem to nap in half hour blocks, they're more free to get out and do stuff. Meeting with my friends is great but I feel like then I'd be dictating times to meet - they quite like to meet at 10am which is smack bang in the middle of naps.

He's actually had an epic nap this afternoon 1.30 and I can just hear him stirring now! Must have been a tiring day (for all of 5 minutes he's been awake!!)

When I ready your post I actually thought I wished mine did that.
As hard as I try there is no routine and sometimes he'll nap 2 hours. Sometimes 30mins.
So I can never plan anything in advance because I don't know if he'll be awake or not. And I feel like I'm batting to get him to sleep all the time.

Sorry I know it's not helpful but someone told me that whatever problem your having, someone is always having the opposite problem. I always remind myself of that and it does help a bit.

As he gets older he will naturally need less naps anyway.
If he sleeps in the car seat can you attach the car seat to the pram? Or does he still not like that?
Do you have any drop in places that run all day?
I have a soft play near to me that has an under 2s section and you can turn up at anytime and I've made a few friends there just by going so often. Everyone's always keen to chat! Or even the library just to get you out the house?
xx

No, I have my husband but tbh by the time we do baby bed routine and dinner ourselves I then go to bed (I'm currently 18 weeks pregnant).

I might have to start suggesting lunch time picnics! That might be a good idea

@hiimmumma I do try to keep my dilemma quiet with my friends because their babies just don't seem to nap. It's so hard isn't it. He's out of his infant car seat and in an extended read facing (he's a tall one this kid!!)

We do have a special under 2's softplay but the times for younger kids is restricted.

I guess it's hard because I can feel my MH slipping. Especially since I've been pregnant again.

Would it help to Skype/facetime/whatever you young people use these days your friends?

@leweji i'm not exactly "down with the kids". I ring my mum a fair bit and friends are around via text. I think I might just have to shunt some naps around.

I met DH for lunch the other day so DS only had a couple of 20 minute cat naps in the car over the afternoon. He ended up napping from 5-6.15 in the evening! Luckily he still went down at 8

Oh I'm sorry. Such a shame.
It's so tough but I do think you should tell your friends, if they understood they might be more willing to meet at yours or the times that work for you. I know I would if I had a friend in that situation.
Especially now your pregnant again I'm sure they will understand how knackering it is.
xx

Mine struggles to sleep unless in a dark room with white noise on, have you tried to cover the buggy with a shade and put white noise on? You can get phone apps (although make sure it's on flight mode as if someone rings mid nap it's a nightmare!!) - and then just walk and walk and walk?

I guess the problem with the white noise, etc, is that he's now very easy to put down for a nap and I don't really want to HAVE to walk for hours to get him to sleep. I guess I don't want him to unlearn the skills he's developing. I do feel very fortunate that he's so good for sleeps but it's so bloody tough.

I'll definately speak to my friends. I'm going to try to take him swimming tomorrow. Swim times are 11.30-1. So that's ideal. I just have to try to convince him he's not hungry at 11.45 because he takes an hour to eat!!

The key thing to remember Prusik, is that baby will only need 2-nap days for a (relatively) short period of time.

While you might be restricted now, soon baby will go down to a single lunchtime nap. You'll then be tied to the house after dinner, but much more free in the mornings to do stuff

Mine napped 9/9.30-11am and 1-3pm daily. So anything I wanted to do during the school day (my older children are at school) had to be done between 11am-1pm.

Since this was the situation I had, I just made the best of it. So I would have a bottle/snack ready for 11am. Be fully ready to leave the house myself with shoes on and cost ready, have the change bag in the car. Then wake baby, immediately feed and check nappy and straight in the car. Go wherever I needed to go or do whatever I needed to do. Then home asap for dinner and afternoon nap.

You can get out, but it does require you being organised about it. It might also not be how you imagined life with a baby, through this stage.

Give it a few months and you'll be down to just 1 nap a day. Until then - if you don't have other children you could always utilise the 3pm-6pm time to go places and do stuff.

Fate, you're awesome, thankyou. You helped me through some sleeping niggles about six weeks ago when I was under a different user name.

I think you're right. 3-6 might be my time.

I'm happy enough at home generally but I guess I feel like I'm missing out when all of my friends are off doing lovely things with their babies and I feel guilty that DS is stuck at home.

I need to keep it in perspective that we are going through a particularly hard patch (we're about to go into week 7 of illness. 3 weeks of cold, 2 weeks of croup, 1 week of normal cough and sore throat and now some sort of vomiting bug which I had at the beginning of the week).

I guess I had it in my head that DS would be able to nap on the go but he's just not like that. We'll have baby number 2 in Feb so he'll just have to get used to being home bound for a while I think!

Relatively speaking, going out and about with baby is easy when they have the short, frequent naps of a young baby. Babies are fairly portable through this stage.

Then become easy again (in the mornings at least) when down to 1 nap. And easier still once naps drop altogether.

The stage of 2-nap days are the most restrictive, especially if baby has two long naps. But they don't last forever.

This probably isnt what you want to hear, but my DD maintained 2-nap days until 20-22 months old. Most drop to 1-nap around 18 months and many start around 12 months, but mine kept 2-nap days for a long time. Life could be restricted like this for a fair while, so might be worth getting used to it. It will pass though.

I've started doing some distance learning studying so I'll carry on with that and just drop the guilt for not doing enough with him. I think he will be one to continue his naps for a long time as he does like his sleep! It'll fit well when the new baby arrives though!

Thank you all so much for the pep talk yesterday. I showered and got organised during this morning's nap and met a baby free friend for coffee. Taking lunch for Ds with me really helped.

This afternoon I sat in the garden with a cuppa and cracked on with my studying.

Must enjoy this calm before dc2 comes in Feb!

That's great

:)