Struggling with newborn

[RedPandaMama]

DD is 10 days old. She's amazing and I love her to bits.

Some nights she sleeps incredibly well. For example 2 nights ago:-
Slept 9.30-1, woke for nappy change & feed, slept 1.45-4.30, woke for nappy change & feed, slept 5-8.45.

I'd say one night out of every 3 though, we have a really hard time. Tonight she went down at 10, woke up at 1.15. Fed her, changed her, then she had wind and was sick, had to feed and change again, then fell asleep on DP multiple times but every time we put her down in the sleepyhead in the side sleeper, she refused to settle and screamed. It's now nearly 7am and I have had about an hours sleep. This happens pretty much every 3 nights and the only way to get her to sleep is to feed her until she falls asleep (takes about 40mins), but then as soon as I move her away from me she wakes up and wants feeding again! I've fed her probably 6 times in the 6 hours she's been awake and just don't know what to do, I'm so exhausted I just end up crying because she won't settle and Im so tired. I'm terrified of DP going back to work on Friday because the only thing that gets me through these nights is having him next to me awake and holding my hand. I just feel so useless to not be able to settle my baby.

It's hard isn't it... but that's completely normal, she's only 10 days old. It sounds like you're doing all the right things, she'll hopefully get into more of a pattern in he next few weeks/months as she learns the difference between night and day. Does she sleep in the day so you can catch up on sleep then?

Not what you want to hear but it's totally normal. And it's fab if you are getting any 'good' nights at all at such an early stage. My children were all like this but without good nights for many months. You just have to keep going and it feels like you can't but somehow you just do. Take whatever help you can from
Others and sleep whenever humanly possible. The mantra 'this too shall
Pass ' is your friend !

Oh I know the feeling! My little man is 3 weeks old, and there seems to be something about 2:30-3am that he HATES. He'll take his feed and fall asleep, but the minute you put him down he'll grizzle. We had a better night last night, but I won't hold my breath for tonight

Also, while you have your partner around, have you considered taking turns to get some sleep instead of both sitting up? I always felt better knowing I just had to get through to 11pm, for example, even though it meant I was on my own for a while. I breastfed too so it meant my turns to sleep had to be timed right and were shorter, but it didn't take too many weeks before DS started sleeping for a good stretch from 8/9ish and then only waking 2 or 3 times for a quick feed.

It does get easier, for 10 days old she is actually doing really well, to say you'll have had about 3 bad nights given 1 in 3 is bad.

While DP is home if she naps in the day try and nap, he's on hand to see to her if she wakes just so you catch up on a bit of sleep.

For what it's worth, my DD slept about 4 hours a night until she was 9 weeks old (felt a lifetime but it's actually not too bad) then just seemed to realise she needed sleep too and would go 8pm-3/4am and then down again until 7/8am.

I don't think many babies actually sleep through at the age of your daughter, I've found on both my children the first day or 2 they kid you that they are great sleepers but that's as they are tired from the birth too.

Keep doing what your doing and do things to make it easier for yourself (online shopping/friends coming to you instead/only essential housework etc) until you are getting more sleep - as I said it does get easier I promise!

DD went through the 4 month sleep regression and was like having the newborn again but she's now back to sleeping (nearly 6month)

Thanks everyone. I do realise we've been lucky - when she sleeps well she does really well! I think it's just the exhaustion talking, I really struggle on such little sleep and the constant breastfeeding is so tiring!

It's totally normal, she's only tiny! You sound like you're doing a great job, it's really hard work in the early days.

If you have a read about the fourth trimester it might help. Very tiny babies need a huge amount of physical contact and attention, they don't understand anything about the world and it's all quite big and new and scary. Also she is growing at an enormous rate so she needs lots of food.

You might find that bringing the sleepyhead closer to you (lullaby trust has safe co-sleeping guidelines) helps. A lot of babies also respond well to swaddling when they're tiny.

Also don't worry about feeding her to sleep, I still do with DD on occasion and she's 8 months, but she can also settle herself. At this stage, go with whatever maximises sleep for everyone. Don't believe anyone who says stupid things like "you're making a rod for your own back" - babies can form new habits within a week or two, and also they develop neurologically so quickly at that age that they're almost a completely different person by the time they're six months.

Remember that everything is a phase with babies so if you have a bad day look forward to better days to come. Good luck!!

Have you tried BF lying down? If you can master it, it means that at least you can rest whilst she's feeding.

I also agree with not worrying about feeding time sleep - biologically, it's what we're designed to do. At this stage it's just about getting as much sleep as possible for everyone.

Also, really difficult but try not to clock watch. Things are a lot easier if you don't know what time it is or how many times you've woken up!

You don't need to change a nappy in the night unless it is poo.

One nappy should last from evening to morning. If it doesn't, you need to go up a size.

I recommend joining in a recent thread on the sleep board 'awake with a newborn, anyone else' - I've read through most of it (my little is 7 months so not relevant to me) but lots of wonderful support on there x

sounds totally normal. i wholeheartedly suggest co sleeping.

FATE my ds did have poo in every nappy/ wakeup til last week at eight weeks.... so he was changed. Some babies do, even if yours didn't

And op, i've not had a single night that good yet at almst 9 weeks. Even when he does sleep, he's thrashing and grunting. And yes FATE this is despite swaddling and your apparent cureall dummy.... Which he doesn't always want