Is 11pm bottle causing more problems?

[AFeastforCrows]

DS is 10 months and still has a bottle at 11pm. I only kept this up because he always woke at this time and it was the quickest way to get him back to sleep. However over the last few nights it seems that he sleeps well and settles himself until 11pm (so I know he can do it) and then wakes up. I've been attempting to feed him and resettle as usual but he is then wide awake, wakes on and off for the next few hours before I give up and bring him in bed with me to get us both some sleep.

Is the 11pm bottle now a habit which is waking him up? Do I just persevere with a few bad night to break this habit?

For example the last few nights have gone like this:

Sleep 7-11pm - I can see him on the monitor turning over, waking briefly and resettling etc.

11pm - wakes up, crawling around cot, pulling up etc. Attempt to resettle by lying him down, patting etc. When this doesn't work, feed.

11.30-2.30am - couple of wake ups, unable
to resettle. I get fed up and take him into my bed.

2.30-6am - sleep like a log!

Initially at bedtime DS is fed and then cuddled to sleep. He is then put in his cot drowsy-ish, turns onto his side/tummy and I place my hand on him until asleep. All resettling in the night is done in the cot in the same way and does work to get him back to sleep but he doesn't stay asleep after the 11pm wake up like he does at 7pm.

Had him weighed yesterday and he is on 95th and eats like a bottomless pit. I'm not convinced he is hungry when he wakes ans he has started only taking 4-5oz.

I would drop that 11pm bottle, because I don't think it's needed. But i don't think that is the cause of your problem so probably won't solve anything.

If you are after him selling independantly in the cot, putting him down drowsy now needs to be putting him down completely awake and doing all settling in the cot.

I would move the bedtime feed to the start of bedtime routine. Say milk downstairs, then bath, then teeth, then story and into cot. You could even give the milk half an hour before bedtime starts, to completely seperate separate the two.

I would also stop cuddling as a settling method, if your sim is independant sleep. Don't aim for putting him in the cot nearly asleep. The aim want to be put him un the cot standing, get him to lie down and settle to sleep in there. You're not at that point yet, but that's the aim for independant sleep.

The other thing if you are wanting baby sleeping independantly is to not being him into your bed part way through the night.

It needs you to be consistant or baby won't learn to associate going to sleep with something that always happens in the same way. At the moment some times he is cuddles and fed to sleep in your lap, sometime he cuddles and cosleeps, some times he's asked to go to sleep in his cot; sometimes with milk and some times without. If you want him sleeping and independantly settling in his cot, it requires much more consustancy than this.

There is another way....

You could always decide to stop expecting independant sleep and relax into planned cosleeping. It requires least effort and might get everyone the most sleep now. It's not something you have to battle against. He could cuddle and/or feed to sleep in your bed at bedtime. And just stay there all night.

First part of the night tends to be when they sleep best as it tends to be a deeper sleep so he is more easily able to settle himself at that time. Has he recently started crawling/pulling himself up? That can cause all sorts of havoc at night if that is a new skill for him as he doesn't understand yet how to lie himself back down and go to sleep? It can take a long time of lying him back down before he gets the idea. Agree with Fate re cutting out the bottle and consistency of settling method.

Thank you both.

Totally agree about the consistency. Each time I take him into my bed I could kick myself in the morning. I just worry about him getting overtired waking up every hour.

FATE How would you go from drowsy to fully awake when put in the cot? Just a case of putting him down a little more awake each time? He is obviously awake when I resettle him in the night and he just lays down and I pat him/put my hand on him but that never seems to work when putting him to bed He treats it like a game and starts crawling around.....

mimi He is crawling, standing, cruising furniture. You name it, he is constantly on the go at the moment and never stops climbing!

I would just put him in the cot awake - fully and completely awake - at bedtime and make going to sleep in there for the night non negotiable.

So that may well involve huge reserves of calm patience and time from you. Just keep on repeatedly lying him back down, hands on him for reassurance, dummy in (if you use a dummy?), any struggle against you and re-lying him back down, hands on him for reassurance again, dummy back in, squirming... repeat... repeat... repeat. You get the idea.

He treats it like a game and starts crawling around...

You may need to teach him that lying down and being still in order to go to sleep is not optional - that you will insist on it and not accept anything else at sleep time.

Loads of opportunities to be mobile when awake. Indeed my children would spend every moment of their awake time on the floor or climbing to practice gross motor skills. If you have a child who spends lots of awake time strapped into things (pushchair, car seat, jumoeroo, swing, whatever) - they possibly are going to want to practice motor skills when given the chance in the cot.

This mobile phase they go through is 'a thing' and it does often affect a child a ability to settle to sleep.

Thanks, will give it a go tonight.

He does have a dummy, which he only has for sleep so is a nice cue for him. He does spend all of his time on the floor practicing his climbing however I've recently had to put the side back on his cot and lower the mattress so I think having a side to grab hold of is a bit of a novelty for him whereas before he would crawl out onto my bed (and ignore the other side of the cot funnily enough )

I may have a broken back and hamstrings that will never recover but.......

DS went from fully awake to asleep in his cot!! It only took 40 mins (not sure if that's good or not) and I don't know how long it will last but I'm hoping it's a habit we can get in to and something that will get quicker with time. I nearly gave up a few times but I found repeating "lay down" each time I layed him down and "sleep time" helped me keep calm and persevere.

Thanks @FATE

Yey! That's fantastic

Well last night didn't go as well as expected.

Asleep at 7.40pm - all in the cot - and then woke at 8.20pm. Resettled in cot. Woke again at 10.30pm and tried resettling until 11.30pm when he finally went to sleep (no feeding though!) and then woke again at 12.15am and 1am until I finally took him into my bed because he was hysterical and was so so tired but just wouldn't go to sleep. He then only slept until 5.30am when we got up. He was then rubbing his eyes an hour later

When put in his cot asleep he would reliably do 7-11pm before waking up. Not sure what I did wrong or whether something else - teeth, overtiredness - was at play yesterday, although he had just over 3 hours of naps.

I still had the cot next to my bed at this age/stage. Made in-cot settling much easier to maintain throughout the night.

Just moved the cot back next to my bed and will try again tonight

Fingers Crossed!