Don't know where to start with 8mo's sleep

[chloechloe]

DD2 is 8 months old and a terrible sleeper, I think, for 2 reasons. Firstly she's completely unable to link sleep cycles on her own. Secondly she's hyper-mobile and cannot keep still day or night.

When she was small I was keen to avoid overtiredness so she was having 5 or 6 x 30 min naps a day. As I have a 2.5 yo as well, I fell into the habit of putting her in the carrier for most naps as it was the quickest and easiest way. She's now started to nap for longer but only in the carrier or if held and only with a huge amount of help to get into the next sleep cycle. If I'm there to help her she will have 2 naps of 1.25 - 1.5 hours and sometimes a final power nap of 30 min depending on timing.

Unfortunately the constant waking carries through into the night as well. Regardless of when I put her to bed, she wakes after 30 min, then 30 min later before falling into a deeper sleep but which still leads her to wake every 1-2 hours through the night. The second she wakes she starts crawling around and then pulling herself up which leads to hysteria if I don't get there fast enough.

I know the hyper mobility is supposed to be a phase but this has been going on non-stop for months as she has learnt to roll, then crawl, then pull up, then cruise and finally sit (yes sitting last as that's clearly too boring).

DD1 is back at nursery in a couple of weeks and I want to invest time into getting this sorted but I don't know where to start. Just with night time or also naps? Then I start to wonder if it's even worth doing it now if she needs so much help to link sleep cycles and is so over active.

Sorry for the lengthy post. I'm exhausted as I'm running up and down the stairs all night whilst trying to get stuff done and I don't get much sleep, night or day.

Sounds like she can't self settle? I found that was a big issue with my dd. I started with naps and the beginning of bed time first to try to gently teach her to self settle then continued to use the old settling method (in her case fed to sleep) for all night wakes. Once she'd gotten used to settling her over night wakes reduced.

Babies need some sort of comfort to be able to settle themselves though. Mine didn't use dummies but some people have had success with those (I don't know if 8 months is too old to introduce though?).

What are her naps like at the moment? We dropped our dd's late afternoon nap so she has a longer awake time before going to bed (4-4.5 j hours) and think that helped with her too. Also is her room completely pitch black?

Thanks for the reply. She already has a dummy. I should probably work on teaching her to find and put it in herself. But her default move on waking seems to be to crawl and stand rather than go back to sleep!

Her room is pitch black as we have shutters but she just moves around in the dark.

It could be worth changing her naps perhaps. I'm wondering whether moving to 2 naps with a 2-3-4 schedule would be better. But I think that presupposes two solids naps and now she's awake after 45minutes from her first one so I think we'll need 3 today...

How do you get her to sleep at night in the cot, and at wake ups?

And is the cot next to your bed or in a different room?

Hello fate!

At night I give her a dummy, curl up next to her and shush her until she sleeps. I have to pin her down as otherwise she climbs all over the place. She often cries a lot, bats away the dummy and tries to crawl off. On a bad night I let her fall asleep on my arm and then put her down (this gets her to sleep with the least resistance).

When she wakes in the night she will sometimes go straight back to sleep with her dummy. If she's started crawling or standing before I get to her though, she's often hysterical and I have to carry her round or BF her to calm her down.

Until recently she was sleeping in a Snuzpod next to our bed but it's now off limits with her climbing. We're currently waiting for DD1's new bed to arrive so DD2 can go in DD1's full size cot. The plan is then to take the side off and put it next to our bed. I will have to put the mattress on the lowest setting though to stop her climbing out, which means I'll have to reach down 40cm or so as we have a high divan.

For the time being she's sleeping on a single mattress on the floor as this is the safest place at the moment.

Before the hyper mobile stage, she was settling quite well in the Snuzpod with a dummy and white noise and a little reassurance, but even then her waking pattern was the same.

You might be able to reach down into the cot next to your bed with the side on the cot. It depends on your bed (and the length of your arms!) . I had the side back on by this age though, the climbing and moving makes the bed and got jiggle away from each other more easily.

I just think you're in the middle of this gross motor skill developments. Unless you are inclined to go for full on sleep training (of the kind that will create lots of protest), it's just a case of reitterating the behaviour you seek and helping baby learn.

I always go for: stillness, quiet, calm for sleep time. So firm hand on chest or wrap around cuddles for stillness, dunnt for quiet and just waiting without lots of movement or noise for the calmness.

I honestly couldn't tell you how often my DD was waking at that age, but she wasn't sleeping through. I made night wakes as easy as possible by responding without getting up and often without even opening my eyes - but whilst also encouraging independant sleep in the cot with dummy.

Definately Definitely be working on baby finding and replacing own dummy. That started 7-8 monthd for us and was a game changer.

Also stay on top of daytime naps. Rough nights mean more daytime sleep will be needed. Good nights mean stretch awake time so baby doesn't end up under-tired. Lots changing at the moment, that will include naps.

Thanks for the reply fate.

I'll have to have a play with the cot. It would be preferable to leave the side on as it's a bit of a pain to remove. I also have the option to take 3 of the bars out which might allow me to lean in a bit from bed.

I'm really not expecting her to sleep through. 2-3 wake ups would not be an issue. But at the moment I'm not managing to get any decent chunk of sleep at all. I'm not even wanting my evenings back (going out is out of the question), I would just like half an hour to do a bit of exercise or have a shower in peace, more for my mental health than anything. Evenings at the moment are spent running up and down the stairs whilst trying to all the jobs I can't get done in the day with her climbing up my legs or with her in the carrier.

Full on sleep training is not something I'm willing to do. With DD1 I spent hours gently teaching her to go to sleep using shush/pat and it paid off with her sleeping through at 11 months. But her rough patches were in fits and starts every few months whereas with DD2 I feel like I've been in the eye of the storm for the last 4 months. Although writing it now makes it seem like such a short time in the grand scheme of things!

Regarding day time naps, do you suggest keeping them in the carrier just to ensure she gets enough sleep?

I may invest in one of these Sleepytots and attach glow in the dark dummies to see if that helps!

Regarding naps, I would move them to the cot now, with in-cot settling.

It does require you to give some settling time to DC2, so be unavailable to DC1 for that time - I don't know if you think your eldest would tolerate that or if it's feasible?

I used to allow for 20 minutes settling time. Ususlly baby was asleep within 10-15 minutes, hang around for a few extra mins to ensure fully asleep then sneek out. If baby wasn't asleep within 20 mins though I'd abort - such is family life when you have other children children to consider.

Then if naps are short, keep them more frequent rather than stressing over it. You might find they extend once in a quiet, dark environment. And even if they don't, you have yourself half an hour to have a shower or whatever.

It's not really feasible to leave my oldest. She's happy to play on her own when I'm around but as soon as I say I'm going upstairs to do something she insists on coming with me! Whilst she will generally be quiet when I ask her to, a 2.5 yo's idea of quiet is somewhat different to mine! She's back at nursery in 2 weeks though so then I should be able to get the baby down for at least 1 nap if not 2 in the cot whilst she's out the house.

Working on it when oldest is back at nursery may be a good idea then. If she's there at the same time every weekday, you could start routining that nap as a cot nap every day.