Baby won't self settle

[FannyTheFlamingo]

My 9 month old will only fall asleep on me. At night, she falls asleep then I put her in the cot. She sleeps for a few hours and then wakes up and will only fall back to sleep in my bed. Sometimes I wait till she's fast asleep and then transfer her to the cot, but she wakes soon after and I have to put her in my bed again.

Should I be concerned? Do I need to try to get her to go all night in the cot? I feel that at 9 months it might be time. How the hell do I go about it? Any advice?

Anyone?

Hi FannyTheFlamingo - really it's whether you're up for the waiting game and are ok to wait for her to get there on her own. Which is fine by the way! I know someone who's 10 month old all of a sudden started thrashing about at bedtime and she put baby down and he rolled over and went to sleep. As if to say mummy I don't need you anymore. Often people assume babies should be able to self settle at X age, the reality is it can happen anytime between 6 months and 2 years (possibly not what you want to hear). Baby will get there in her own time though, eventually!

@HT85 Thank you for replying! I've always been really chilled about it...I don't mind her falling asleep on me or sleeping in the bed but she used to go most of the night in the cot and only a couple of hours in the bed and she's gradually spending less time in the cot and more in the bed. I think I'll hold off on any drastic action for the time being.

No advice. DD has been a Velcro baby since day one. She's 2yrs1month and still will not self settle. It's exhausting. She also will only stay about 1-2 hours in her cot then demands to sleep inbetween us. We are currently in the process of sorting the bedroom into a big girls room instead of sharing (2 bed, We're moving to the sofa bed downstairs 😣) but we're hoping we will have some progress.
I would attempt to get your dd to self settle now. I really wish that we tried earlier even with all the sleep regressions etc. Good luck OP🍷 you may need this to get you through.

I don't think you need be concerned. Sounds normal to me.

Self soothing is a myth

@Berrybakecake1 poor you, that sounds tough!! The biggest problem with having her in the bed all the time is that I can't have as much as I'd like! The sleepyhead has gone back in the cot tonight, so we'll see if that helps. I can't face going down the controlled crying route. Good luck with your little one.

Is the cot in baby's own room FannyTheFlamingo? Maybe baby would settle better if the cot was next to your bed?

A good interim to consider is the sidecar cot. You can take one side off most cots. Then awedge it to your bed and you can help baby learn to go to sleep in the cot all night, but still be there to cuddle.

@FATEdestiny She's still in our room, with the cot right next to the bed. I hadn't thought of the sidecar thing though, so that will be worth trying. Thank you.

I think they go through a growth spurt / wonder week thing between 8-10 months. Dd3 has just come out the other side (fingers crossed!!) after a few weeks of being unable to settle. It's something to do with increased awareness and is linked to separation anxiety increasing at this age too.