6.5 month old still up 4-5 times a night

[canihaveacoffeeplease]

And it is slowly killing me. She is ebf, I thought weaning would help but we're a couple of weeks in now and there's no difference. She goes to bed between 6.30 and 7 and will sleep 3-4 hours, then wake up. She feeds hungrily and goes straight back to sleep. She was born a big baby 9lb 10oz and has stayed on the 98th centile, I'm not sure if that means she needs more food than other babies?

On a good night she'll then get up every 2.5-3 hours for a feed, on a bad night hourly. We end up co sleeping on bad nights purely because this is the only way I get any sleep. I feel like a zombie, I'm awful at work, an awful wife and an awful mother to both girls.

Unfortunately she sleeps in our room and will until she is about 1 due to waiting for an extension being built to the house. Dd1's bedroom is a box room so no room for a second bed in there sadly.

Please can anyone give me some practical advice? I really don't want to do controlled crying, but am getting pretty desperate.

My 7.5mo EBF DS had a really unsettled few weeks during early weaning. I presume he was just uncomfortable with the strange things in his tummy but he's much more settled again now, normally 2-3 wake ups rather than hourly anyway! He was 9lb 10oz born, not sure it makes any difference though because I'm sure my 8lb 8oz DD used to feed more frequently at this stage.

We cosleep as I found with DD it's the only way for me to get enough sleep. And I'm happy with it.

I'm sure it's a phase and will pass.

This was Dd until 10 months then she dropped all but the 3/4am feed. Nothing I did helped, but it didn't last forever. She fed fast and slept immediately too. I felt odd as so many friends said theirs were sleeping a lot more but now (she is 6) she does 12 hours reliably so the pattern hasn't continued

My EBF was like this too; very unsettled between six and nine months. I think she was simply hungry and put it down to the milk no longer really being enough for her size by the time but her not yet really consuming enough solids to make up the difference. It did pass but I do remember feeling like the walking dead for most of that time so you have my absolute sympathy .

We started weaning at six months BTW.

What are her day time naps like and does she feed a lot during the day too? Is she definitely hungry every wake up at night or does she have a comfort suckle then go back to sleep?

We did a bit of sleep training at this stage, as DD had never really got over the 4 month sleep regression - it sounds like it might be the same for your DD with the hourly waking?

It did involve crying, but but one of us would be sitting/kneeling on the floor next to her cot each time with a hand on her chest and "shushing" her, rather than feeding back to sleep. This means you are providing a comfort of sorts, instead of the breast (which I felt she was using for comfort to get back to sleep, not because she was hungry). I think controlled crying is leaving the room (?) which I personally felt was not right for us at that stage.

I found the Andrea Grace book/plan quite helpful. She did a webchat on here a few months ago. Her approach is basically in cot settling and gradual night weaning, so she would say reduce night feeds gradually to 5, then 2 minutes over a few nights, then don't feed at all before 11pm, and then don't feed at all before morning wake up. I didn't/haven't night weaned but got back down to two short night feeds which I could cope with. I'm not back at work yet though...

I also really recommend getting your partner involved as they are often better at settling as the baby knows they don't have boobs! I slept in another room whilst DP did the sleep training - would the sofa be an option for you?