Conflicted about sleep training- did you have to?

[Muddlinalong]

My little boy is 8 months, EBF, and we have struggled with his sleep from day 1. He is DC2 for us, so we are aware babies don't always sleep, but we are struggling at the moment. DD slept through from 8 months but took a bottle and sucked her thumb, both of which seemed to help.

He has never liked sleeping in his cot, only started napping in his cot from around 6 months. He has a regular bedtime and nap routine, but co-sleeps for part of most night's we we can't cope otherwise. He hasn't been fed to sleep for months, but cries hysterically if he is left for a minute, his Dad hasn't managed to put him to bed yet as he just screams for me for ages. No dummy, and can't soothe himself.

Has anyone in the same position previously managed to avoid sleep training? How?

I am really conflicted about it, but beginning to think we have to do something as none of us are functioning at the moment.

I would look on the sleep board at the recent ' ok really - how bad is sleep training?' thread for your answer - it's provoked a varied response as always!

Have a look at Sarah Ockwell-Smith book "Gentle Sleep" She offers practical advicein a really gentle way.

Thank you, I will do.

Sleeping in shifts in different rooms was definitely what kept us going through the worst bits - being sure of one decent stretch of sleep a night really really helped. This may be difficult if your son won't be resettled by his Dad; but you may be able to find a part of the night (early morning?) when he resists it less. It took a while for us but I would definitely give it a try - I believe that crying while being comforted and cuddled by the other parent is worlds away from being left alone to cry.

When you say he hasn't fed to sleep for months, do you mean he has fed but not fallen asleep or that you've actively tried to get him to sleep without feeding to sleep? (IYSWIM! Did he stop the feeding to sleep or you?)

For me personally, maximising everybody's sleep is my priority so I would feed to sleep and cosleep from the start if it gets you a better/easier night. That would be my choice over sleep training at this age.