Sleep training a 4mo

[ihatepickingausername]

My 4mo is a terrible sleeper anyway, waking up every 2 hours, sometimes less. But she seems to of hit the lovely 4 month sleep regression where I'm lucky if she sleeps for a solid hour!

She is bf so I deal with most of the night wakes (until around 5am/6am when DH takes over if baby is not hungry). We have already established a good bed time routine where she knows it's bed time and settles really quick, but that is her settling with me cuddling/rocking her and waiting until she is in a deep sleep before putting her down. I know this is where the problem is but she cries if she's put down awake.

I'm obviously very exhausted so I think now is a good time to try sleep training. Does anyone have any tips for how's best to do this?

I would agree she is too young for sleep training - my friend tried it at 6 months as she was exhausted and i think gentle training at 6 months onwards is appropriate.

If this is a regression it might just be a case of powering through it. BUT mummy needs sleep too! Have you tried a sleepyhead pod? my daughter has slept like a dream in it since she was about 3 weeks old - and wont sleep without it now she is 9 months and in the sleepyhead grand. It is expensive but trust me it is SO SO worth it!!!! If she likes being cuddled it will give the sensation of being close to someone and feeling a bit more snug. also, its so comfy and soft on their little backs.

I wouldnt agree on the dummy route - you are only causing longer term problems. Every baby can learn to sleep without one, and needs to learn without one, end of.

If all else fail (and dont burn me for saying it - i just have had a lot of success with it personally) have you tried a bit of formula before bed to see if it settles her for longer?

But honestly the sleepyhead pod is the best thing i have ever ever ever bought!! its now a running joke with my friends how my daughter loves it so much! Good luck!!xx

Could you maybe not call it sleep training, as some think the worst.

My friend told me she was sleep training her little one.and I must admit, did think he was a bit young at four months. However, when we talked about it, turns out me and her did the same.

I started out by holding his hand while he fell to sleep on me so that the hand holding would begin to be a comfort. I continued to feed to.sleep but with the added hand holding. Eventually I put him in his cot holding his hand once he found it a comfort. Finally I replaced my hand with a little toy.

I didn't think that was sleep training but my friend seems.to think it is. I guess it's just perspective and how you label it

Thanks everyone for taking the time to reply.

@FATEdestiny

Baby reuses a dummy.
I quite like co sleeping but I don't sleep as well with her in the bed, being paranoid all night. But I wasn't keen on doing it full time in case it caused issues further down the line. At the moment she only gets into the bed if i can't take the lack of sleep any more.

No solid plan reg breastfeeding but I'm not ready to give it up yet as it's been going really well.

I think I could cope with crying. Baby had bad collic for the first while so I learned how to block that out. Thankfully that has passed now.

PUPD sounds like something that I could give a go at and means baby isn't upset.

Will take note on your tips for day time naps. She only get around 10 hours sleep in 24hr cycle most days so no where near what she should.

We feed every 2 hours roughly during the day right now. Through the night I will feed when she wakes unless it's less than 2 hours and I try settle without a feed.

Thanks for all your advice!

@Parttimeworkingmummy2017

We have a sleepyhead. Baby loved it when we first took her home but then seemed to hate not having the space. Will pull it back out and give it another go, babies seem to change what they like constantly!

Tried a bottle before bed, absolutely no difference so went back to bf (DH gave bottle while I expressed to keep my supply up)

I even tried baby rice (I know, too early, but was pressured by family to try it) and that also did nothing.

@Prusik

Yes maybe the phrase is more scared than what I was intending to do. A gentle, slow method is something I was looking for.

Hello, sort of this has been mentioned on the thread, have you tried giving up all dairy? Some bf babies can react to dairy (and other things) and this can affect sleep. You mentioned the coffee, it's interesting you noticed that so it's worth trying the dairy.

I have literally just come out the other side of the regression. Like last night she slept 12 hours with 3 milk feeds- beforehand it's been every 10-50 minutes. I honestly thought I was going to crack.
I've just had tonight's first wake up- after 4.5 hours. I feel epic!
Just keep going. Download the wonder week app if you haven't already- I've found it accurate to the day- so I knew the end was coming (even if there were 30 odd days left!).
Feed, feed and then feed more.

Co-sleep if it works. It felt wrong to me at first, and you are right it's not a proper sleep I get- but it's so much easier to just feed while you doze. No need to even change position.
Co-sleep for naps too. It helps. My lo only takes 30 mins naps - but it's better than nothing. If you add in boob time that's an hour lying down dozing. 4x day (for us anyhow )
Baby may take a dummy when you unlatch to put her down to sleep (in sleepyhead for us)- it's worth a try.
White noise - again worth a try.
My most important message. It ends. I promise. I didn't think it would' but it does.

Pupd drive my son into a frenzy of crying and upsetness. It really didn't work for us at all. None of the 'keep going back and soothing them' methods did because he never calmed down - looking back his problem was fear of being left. We realised and gave him if anything more attention - consleeping and going to him quickly (not every tiny sniffle, we always gave him a minute to see if he'd go back down himself.) we soon knew the difference between a little wake up and a full on panic, and it did help when we responded quickly to that.

I think knowing WHY they wake us important. If it's habit in a one year old with no separation angst then yeah, cc might work. Or pupd in a younger one. If they're scared then ONLY comfort is going to help because they then know that it's ok when they wake, they don't need to panic,

Right now yours is waking because their sleep architecture is changing. So to a degree it's just hang on in there and see what happens at the other end (probably separation angst at six months, sigh...)