How to get DS to sleep in his own room?

[MissObsessed]

DS is 9 months & has slept in our room in his cot against our bed. Sleep has never been terrible & had got even better after trying the insert of his deluxe sleepyhead under his sheet. Usual night would be bed at 7-7.30pm, bottle around 2-3am and awake 6-7am. He is cuddled to sleep and put in cot drowsy with a pat/hand hold.

Well DH and I had the mad idea of trying DS in his own room last night. We put the blackout blind up & made sure it was all ready. We showed him the room before bedtime etc & kept the same routine, bath and bed by 7.30pm.

DS then slept til 9.30pm. We didn't go straight in to him just watched on the monitor. When he was crying I went in, laid him back down & patted his back & he went back off quickly. He then woke 10.15pm, 11pm (when I fed him ), 12.30am and then 1.10am. The last two wakes up DH handled & did exactly what I did.

By the 1.10am we were all exhausted & put DS in our bed because he was getting more & more unsettled. He then slept 1.20am-6am

I feel like we need to give it a fair shot but is there anything else we can try? How long would you persevere for? I think only 1-2 more nights before we move him back but DH thinks a week.

I would love any advice or stories of when you moved your DC. Feeling like a bad mum this morning

At least a week - how on earth will he get used to it otherwise ?!! I wouldn't let him cry but just keep doing what you are doing and he will get used to it fairly quickly , otherwise you'll be in the situation where he may never be happy in his own room if you don't bite the bullet and keep going

As pp said at very least a week to get used to it, you sound like you're doing all the right things it's just patience I think! Can you lay him in his room for his daytime naps too? Might help him get used to it sooner. Good luck!

Yes, at least a week.

With my DD1, she only settled in her own room once we'd taken the side off the cot. I thought it'd end in her constantly inning riot but I think she just needed the reassurance that she could come and get us of she needed to (we put a bed rail on the side so that she couldn't roll out). I think she was about 15mos when she finally went into her own room.

That said, she was much more distressed than it sounds like your DS is and I'd bet he'll be settled in no time!

Thanks for such quick replies! I think I know deep down it needs to be at least a week, it's just that innate 'my baby is crying and I can't stand it' response that makes me want to scoop him up and put him in my bed whereas DH can be much more logical about it all

Honkyzeke The plan this morning is to attempt his first nap in his room, let's see how that pans out!

Is there potential for you to sleep in his room with him? Mine is the same age (and has a very similar night pattern). We made the move 3 weeks ago but with me sleeping in there too so when she wakes, I'm right there just like I used to be. Now she's used to the room, I've been working upto sleeping in my room by going back after her night feed so she wakes up alone in the morning. The next plan is to spend the whole night in my room (hopefully by end of this week as long as we don't experience another regression/tooth/illness!)

We've intentionally kept a bed in there with her cot so I can move back again during any difficult periods as I can't stand the idea of moving between 2 rooms when exhausted

I didn't move mine into their bedroom until they had several weeks of sleeping through in my room. I just don't have it in me to keep walking back and forth between rooms all night anymore.

I would love any advice or stories of when you moved your DC

DC1 - is not a great example because of PFB poor sleep habits. Own room at 9 months, not night weaned until 2y, still waking frequently until DC2 came along.

DC2 - night weaned 6m, sleeping 7am-7pm at 6-7 months. Own room 8 months

DC3 - night weaned and sleeping through 6-7 weeks. Own room waited to 6 months.

DC4 - night weaned from 4-5m. Sleeping 8pm-7am inconsistently from 9m, consistantly 11m. Own room 12 months.

We moved DTD into the nursery at 9 months because she'd (most nights) sleep through from bedtime to morning, but her brother is still in the cot at the bottom of our bed (at nearly 12 months) because he still generally wakes at 3am and either goes back down with a shush-pat or comes into bed with us (trying to do more shush-pat but at 3am we tend to go for path of least resistance).
Although they go down at bedtime well we do still get occasionally grumbling at 10pm ish and have to go up and give them a cuddle.
It's a change so yes I'd probably persevere for a week if you want him in the nursery now. Good luck

I'd take him back into your room. Lots and LOTS of people were overly invested in whether I had put my son in his own room. Well I did at 19 months. Tbf I could have done it much sooner (as in he would have been ready 3 months earlier)

He was fine, absolutely no problems, no difference to sleep or bedtime which was a miracle given that his brother was born two weeks before we moved him.

I did wait til he was reliably sleeping through though.

I got mine to sleep on their own room by sleeping on a mattress next to them after their second waking. Then gradually moved out. You do have to persevere. I also hate crying and never left them to cry

No space in DS's room for a bed unfortunately & we don't have a spare bed so would need to buy one specifically but have had a look at a foldout mattress which would fit next to DS's cot if I needed to sleep in there so that's on the shopping list.

I think I'm going to give it a week and if there's no improvement then move him back & try again in a few weeks. We're only moving him because we're starting to wake each up. Me coughing, DH snoring or turning over or even me reacting too quickly to DS when actually he's just getting comfy & doesn't need me interfering

Ive been thinking of moving my nearly 9 month old into his own room..but then he gets another cold and I feel too mean to do it then...so I keep changing my mind.
I keep thinking that once he is asleep in a dark room, in the same cot, will he really know I am not next to him?

Missobsessed that's the exact reason we've decided to move her too. I had planned to keep her in my room until she was consistently sleeping through but I'm fairly sure we are disturbing her and then she wants us rather than going back to sleep as she usually would.

Since I've been going back to my room after her 3am feed, she has started staying in bed until 7am whereas with me there, she would stir at 5/6ish and then shout at me to pick her up. It really doesn't appeal to me to have to go to her room to feed her then come back to mine but she may well sleep through if I'm not there so I figure it's worth a try!

Foldable mattress sounds like a good idea to get him used to the room before leaving him in there on his own

Just writing this so I have somewhere to compare our progress and also it might help any others going through the same

Last night was much better! Bed by 7.30pm, needed resettling at 8.30pm and 10.30pm. All resettling done in the cot without lifting DS and only took a few minutes each time and then he slept until 3.30am! He then had a feed (will work on night weaning one of these days.....) and then back down until 6am I didn't hear a peep out of him between 10.30-3.30am and because DH did the 10.30pm resettle I slept for 6.5hours straight!

Fingers crossed tonight will be just as good!