Ah ffs. He's climbing out of the bloody cot.

[Sparrowlegs248]

We stay at my parents once a week, the idea being I get a bit of a break with a 2 yr old and 6 month old. (useless husband)

I put toddler to bed, he's really reliable usually. Gone to put him to bed. Climbing out. And now screaming at me because I won't let him climb out.

He's just two and in no way ready for a bed, and in any case, we are not prepared (the bedroom) for him to be in the bed.

He's 2. Two year olds can be little boggers sometimes, excuse my language. So can 3 year olds.

Cot climbing is more of a behavioural thing than any indication he should change from cot to bed.

There will almost definitely be other behaviour issues you face whereby he's doing something that is unwelcome behaviour - either dangerous or just ill mannered. Some parents face hitting, biting, refusing to hold hands by the road, not sharing, refusing to eat dinner. And a million other unwelcome behaviours that develop in the Terrible Twos and Threenagers do. Cot climbing is no different.

Lots (loads of people I know in real life and also people who wrote threads here) take cot climbing as a sign it's time to move to a bed. To be perfectly honest I think that's just lazy parenting (I know that makes me sound judgmental). It's avoiding dealing with the actual behaviour issue by side-stepping it. It often just creates more of the same when baby then refuses to stay in bed.

So, just deal with it however you are going to deal with other unwelcome behaviours. It rather depends on your parenting style. Are you a negotiator, a friendly briber, an authoritarian, or any of the other ways you could be.

I get my teacher head on. Im quite strict and zero tolerance with things like that. So I'd get cross. Make sure toddler knows that I am not happy with this behaviour, that it is not OK. At the same time going overboard with praise for the behaviour I do want.

At 2 you should also be able to talk to and explain your expectations. Have a simple statement you say over and over again. Something like "you must lie down in the cot". It's good to use poditive statements what you do want, rather than making statements about what you don't want. So I would not use the word climbing.

I would probably start hanging around the doorway at bedtime. Sturn face on. Keep an eye and any attempt to sit up, let alone climb, straight in with a firm "NO! You must lie down to sleep". Stand by the cot if needed. Zero tolerance on anything other than lying down.

Then in the morning, loads of praise for staying lying down at sleep time. Lots of talking about what a good, good boy he is for lying down at sleep time and that you're really proud of the big boy he's growing up to be, lying down his cot like such a good boy.

Lots of smiles and positivity to counter the sturn, cross face when there is any unwelcome behaviour. Ton a very basic level, your son will want to make you happy. So be over the top happy with the behaviour you want. Then be cartoonish unhappy in your face with unwelcome behaviour. Toddlers cotton on to non-verbal communications like this easily, I think.

My 2 year old learnt to climb out the cot by pulling the bottom drawer out by his bed and using it as a footsie up

He split all across his forehead
I can't take that back, if they are climbing, its time!

If he's climbing out it is far far safer to put him in a toddler bed. Not sure what the aversion is?

FATE - I'm hoping you're not a teacher given your inability to spell stern.

Thanks fate. This is at my parents, he can't yet climb out at home. And lays down and goes to sleep on his own now.

I did the "it's bed time, time to lay down" and got cross. You are right, it was a tantrum, nothing to do with bed but happened because he knew he could climb out. Tbh in the daytime I tend to ignore and he stops pretty quick. Unless dangerous of course. But he was having none of it and I couldn't ignore as he'd climb out. So I've give up and he's still up. He woke the baby with his screaming (baby was downstairs!) Going to try again in a minute.

I wouldn't go with Fate's suggestion - it's not a style of parenting I like - and I doubt it would work with most 2 year olds. Get the room ready and move him to a toddler bed.

My aversion to the bed is that I'm at my parents and don't fancy moving furniture about at this time of night. He's also a very active sleeper and just wouldn't stay in a bed, he definitely needs containment!

Please move him out if the cot asap. If he climbs and falls from the top if the cot, he could do some serious damage.

DS2 was out at 18 months, DS1 at 2 (and 3 weeks- he had a brand new sibling). 2 isn't to young for a toddler bed.

Not lazy parenting FATE. I preferred my child to be safe.

We moved DS into his toddler bed with a guard rail at 20 months after he successfully climbed out of the cot. He didn't get out of the bed by himself. It didn't affect his sleep. There were no battles. How do you know he's not ready for a bed?

We moved DD from cot to bed quite early as she was (and is) a climber and I was sure she would hurt herself. She preferred it, and slept better once we moved her to the bed.

We don't mind her coming in to our bed in the middle of the night though, so I suppose it depends on your approach and house rules.

We had a bed guard though, and pillows on the floor.

We bought ourselves time by putting DS1 in a Grobag-style sleeping bag, but he was younger when he started his jailbreaking efforts. Yeah, it's hobbling him but easier than trying to reason with a 2 year old.

Of course you're not going to move furniture around tonight but if he's done it once, it's time to move to a bed. Write tonight off and then sort it for next time. My now 2.5 year old sleeps much better in a bed than he ever did in a cot for some reason. Has been in it since 2 years and a few weeks.

I thought people moving them to a bed when they could climb out the cot was for safety reasons more than them thinking it was a sign they were ready for a bed and being lazy parents? Although I can't blame people for being lazy if it involves not trying to reason with a tired climbing 2 year old at bedtime when you've got a baby to deal with also

Yes, they can still get out the bed but are far less likely to hurt themselves than climbing out of a cot.

At 2, they may listen to you and lie down but it's not the most reliable age and they could lie down for a few nights nicely, then suddenly decide to climb out and get hurt.

I would just do whatever it takes to get him to sleep tonight and then sort out the bed situation for next time. Bed guards if he moves about in his sleep maybe?

The cot at home is higher than this one, I don't know if it's because the home one is a cot bed and this is a cot. I'm.not sure having the inconsistency of bed at Nannies and cot at home would work for him.

He sleeps really well in his cot, at home and has done here until now. I've just put Jim back and he's laying down and almost asleep but obviously very tired given the time.

Also the cot here is at the foot of a single divan bed so if he gets out he drops onto the bed, which he can get off.

I'm not keen on upsetting his sleep by a too early transition to a bed (and I really do feel it's too early for him) , as it's taken a lot to get him to where he is now sleep wise.

From a selfish point of view, I have his 6 month old brother waking in the night, and that's enough for me atm!

Try a Grobag. If he can escape one of those, try putting it out backwards.

If he continues climbing here, we have a toddler bed which can go where the cot is, at the end of the single bed, so it's between the wall and the single bed somewhat boxing him in.

There's other stuff that will need moving first though to make the room safe in case of nighttime frolics.

Thank you Voodoo - not just us that went down the Grobag route.

Fate, under a different name I posted for advice with a non sleeping toddler and you were just as judgemental. I didn't put the side back on the cot but did (stupidly) take to heart what you said. My dd is sleeping well again through our hard work. None of it was laziness and I would really love to know what makes you the expert to post such long unhelpful comments when people need a bit of support. You post on all these kind of threads and say the same things repeatedly. You know what? They're not true

OP, I wouldn't be at the door growling. It wouldn't work with my child. We took the side off when it got dangerous and got new bedding to make it a new nice place to be. We did put on a toddler rail thing so she couldn't fall out but she lived being able to climb in herself. Our issues came much later on and it was down to separation anxiety but they are sorted now.

My mum reckons I was a little shit for doing this at about that age. Thankfully I am yet to experience this.

She tied me into my cot with my reins (shock horror, 90s parenting with probably crippling sleep deprivation!). Not recommended. Not because of some hideous accident, no- I just got out of those first and then climbed out using them as some sort of additional abseiling equipment. I think it's hilarious, my mother doesn't.

Apparently I gave up eventually and was then allowed a proper bed!

Personally I think if they are climbing out of a cot then it's time to nor them to a toddler bed (or convert the cot to a cot bed). It is mostly about safely surely?
I couldn't wait to move my toddler. He was 17 months. He wasn't climbing out the cot at all, but I knew he would be happier in a bed. We didn't even bother with bed guards as I was concerned he would use them to stand up and then fall out head first. So we put the cot mattress on the floor next to the bed, he rolled out twice, but was absolutely fine. After that he learnt to roll back. He's nearly 2 now, so has been in his toddler bed for 7 months. Best thing we did.

I wouldn't worry about him not sleeping in bed at nannies and cot at home due to inconsistency. There is probably loads of stuff that's different at the two different houses and kids are often able to adapt quite well and understand things like at home they have a cot, at nannies house a bed.

FATE - I'm hoping you're not a teacher given your inability to spell stern

Chemistry/science teacher, not notorious for great spelling. I am indeed terrible at spelling and typing (especially on my phone). Having said that I've been SAHM for 10 years now.

Nottalotta, is he in a sleeping bag at your mums?

he needs to sleep in a bed (or on a matress on the floor) now.
as pp said, it's too dangerous. the dc can do themselves real damage.

If he can climb out, then he should be in a bed.

Your DH needs to shape up and look after the children he fathered.

We switched to a bed at 18 months with youngest after I found him sitting wobbling astride the top of the cot He got up 25 times the first night in a bed, 9 the second and twice the third night before resuming 'normal service'. Much preferable to a night in A&E for stitches/concussion IMO. It was a cot bed so close to the floor in 'bed mode' and with a thick rug on the floor he sometimes rolled out without even waking up.