It depends 9n your parenting style and also how effective your alternate settling method (that's not feeding) is.
If you have a well established settling method then it's easier not to feed without any crying. If your settling method is less established (which I'd suggest is the case with yours) then if you don't feed there's going to be crying and upset. It then becomes a case of your parenting style - do you favour the methods not creating any crying and much more gentle (just give baby what is wanted) or methods that are stricter, harsher but quicker (stick to your guns).
It depends on how you want to parent. And there is a huge sliding scale with lots of middle ground between cry it out and feed to sleep. You have to factor in your ability to be consistant, your own need for sleep in the short term and in the long term, if you have support from DP, friends and family if you're knackered... There's loads of factors and variants to consider, I could go on. But what is right for your family might only be right for your family and no-one else.
You need the confidence to look at your sleep situation as a whole and be decisive as to what you are aiming for.
It might be that because you're going back to work that responding and feeding quickly is the best answer, because it gets everyone the most sleep.
It might be that you need the solid block of sleep so decide to 'bite the bullet' and just refuse a feed and move baby into own room at the same time. In-cot comforting, not lifting from the cot and staying consistant through the crying. Short, sharp shock over with quickly if consistant.
Both are as right as each other. And loads of other options as well.
For a little opinion from me (I'm just guessing, you know your baby better than I do), it sounds like you came to the dummy too late and it's not really bonded with as a reliable sleep trigger. That's why feeding to sleep is working, baby associates feeding with the "best" comfort, dummy is second best.
The patting, shushing and whatnot are good for when baby needs a bit extra comfort and reassurance from you, but again they're not really cutting it when the need for comfirt is highest - only a feed will do then.
I say this not to rub your nose in the lack of dummy use in early months to establish it as main comfort, but to suggest that waiting until 12 months ish might be better. Closer to 12m is when comforter objects come into their own.
You've probably seen toddlers with their comforter blankie or special teddy, it's more of a thing for older babies. So I would say at 9/10 months then not feeding is likely to replace the comfort of milk with no adequate alternate, it sounds like dummy isnt really cutting it. Whereas if you keep feeding for comfort, but every time you feed or comfort baby make sure you use the comforter simultantiously to establish that association. Then give it until 12 months amd nope to establish the comforter object as an adequate alternate to feeding for comfort.
There's no guarantee, some children don't take to a comforter. But it's what I'd do if I was in your position. Just make feeding in the night as quick, easy and effective as possible to get us all the most sleep. And then bank on in establishing a comforter ready for after 12 months ish.
(Then if I had another child, establish dummy in-cot settling instead of feeding to sleep from birth - but that's just me).