How can I get 13wk old to take a dummy?

[ilovetosleep]

She's ebf and totally dependent on breast or sling to get to sleep. I have two others and am keen to get her to self settle, I have tried a couple of dummies (Tommee tippee and nuk) but she gags and pushes it out. I haven't really persisted as it really looks like she's doesn't like it. Are there any tips? Thanks

Dd was similar but we persevered putting the dummy in, letting her roll it around in he mouth, spit it out etc. We found that gently tapping the dummy helped, it seems to remind her it was there and what to do with it. It was as though it took her a while to realise she was supposed to suck it.

My DS is 6 months and it's only recently he keeps it in his month. So about 5 months. You just have to keep offering it. When your LO cries, offer dummy and pat their bum (if going to bed). They soon realise that it soothes them. He won't sleep without it now. Plays with it just as much.

So we haven't left it too late? That's promising. I never used one with the older two but they took years to sleep independently and while I don't mind that, 8 don't have the luxury of spare time to help her nap these days. I wish iccould climb into bed with her at every nap time but those days have passed!

It was as though it took her a while to realise she was supposed to suck it.

This was exactly it with my youngest. She simply didnt know what to do with this thing in her mouth. Eventually, by pure fluke she sucked and very quickly from there 'got it'.

The basic promise is persistence. I kept offering the dummy in all different situations, multiple times every single day. I would have literally carried on like this until she got it, regardless how lobg ygat took. As it was, it took her 7 weeks. I worked really hard with focused determination on the dummy to get there that quickly though. She was sleeping solidly from 11pm-7am within a week of accepting the dummy, I think the two were directly linked.

You don't mention baby's age ilovetosleep? Because the older baby is the more unlikely they'll accept the dummy.

The spitting out is just as a result of the tongue thrust newborn reflex. Babies can and do learn to overcome this reflex, some earlier than others.

The gagging indicates dummy is too big for baby's mouth or doesnt fit baby's mouth well, it indicates you could do with a different brand. That said, simply growing changes the size of baby's mouth. So what might be gagged on at 2 weeks probably won't be by 8 weeks.

Tips:

• try at every convenient opportunity, every day.
• try at different states of tiredness, including when happy, awake and not wt all tired.
• don't give the dummy when baby is hungry. A hungry baby only ever wants feeding and anything else to suck on will just cause frustration.
• try different brands. I always preferred the cherry teats rather than orthodontic shapes for 0-6m. You don't find cherry teats very often though. Other people have their own favoured types.
• try at different times of day. Babies are usually happiest in the morning and get more cranky through the day. When cranky and crying is not going to be a good time to try getting dummy accepted.
• try whipping nipple out and dummy in when drowsy at end of a feed
• try holding baby in breastfeeding position, but with dummy.
• try someone other than you offering dummy.
• if you rock baby in your arms, do it with dummy in.
• if you have a sidecar cot or cosleep, give dummy while cuddling at night.
• don't stick dummy on baby's mouth while crying; it serves no purpose doing that. I'm In fact take dummy out of mouth if baby is crying. Dummy should be being sucked, so baby not crying when it is being used.

One last thing I'll add: dummy is not a magic wand. Dummies are without doubt the single best tool for independant sleep without crying, if that is your aim. But it won't suddenly get baby sleeping through, night weaned, or napping brilliantly. It is a brilliant first step towards that, but it is not always an immediate magic wand.

Thank you for all those tips! I mentioned in thread title, she is 13 weeks so maybe too old? So if I only want her to have it for sleep, should I still be persevering with trying at all other times until she accepts it? Up until this week she was sleeping pretty well at night and all of a sudden her long stretch has reduced from 7/8 hours to 5, and then waking every 2 hours after that, and her naps have gone right down to 30 mins each. I don't know if the dummy will help with that, but I've found since the school holidays began I haven't had the time or space to spend getting her to nap, only on short car journeys or in the sling, and it's really taking its toll on her, she's constantly over tired and ratty. I am going to start again with the dummy. I have been using 0-6 months nuk or tommee tippee orthodontic ones. She really does gag! She's had tongue tie and I suspect a high palate so maybe that's why. Haven't found any smaller ones available.

I noticed the thread title after I'd posted. My first was 20 weeks when I first have a dummy and she took to it straight away. But if it's not naturally being taken it will be harder outside of the newborn phase. Not impossible, it's really up to you how persistant you are willing to be.

If it was me, I would have kept going until it was accepted, regardless how long that took. But that's because the dummy is central to my gentle independant sleep ethos. I don't have direct experience of trying to get an older baby, like yours, to accept the dummy. I started working on the dummy with my dummy-refuser from about 2 or 3 weeks old, which is a different kettle of fish to a 3 month old.

if I only want her to have it for sleep, should I still be persevering with trying at all other times until she accepts it?

Mine only have it for sleep. But the first 6 months i think are mostly all about sleep. I gave free use of the dummy for the first 6 months whenever unsettled, gradually reducing so that by 12 months the only place the dummy lived was in the cot. From 12m onward no dummy is ever used in my house unless baby is in the cot, going to sleep.

But at 13 weeks old, yes i would be using it at other times. Especially so if you are trying to establish it. The time for restricting use will come, I would not be doing it yet.

My son won't take any dummies except the 0-6 month Mam ones. They are only £6 for 2 on Amazon so worth a go. We also kept trying in different circumstances, half asleep in the car seat finally did it for us!