Advice on cot bed/single mattress side car

[sourpatchkid]

DS used to sleep in crib by my side but over the last 6 weeks or so has been bed sharing for one reason or another (travel, teething, too big for crib) he sleeps really well when bed sharing (is also still breastfed)

I'm trying to move him to his own room now (he's 8 months) and am sleeping in a single bed in his room to aid the transition but he's so restless, his sleep seems to be poor quality when he's slightly further away from me.

He has a cot bed rather than a cot, so reasonably large with 3 height settings - one of which is about 3 inches off the floor.

How safe would it be to remove the side of the cot and put my single bed mattress next to it (it's just a mattress, no frame. His mattress would likely be about an inch or two higher than mine so if he rolled he would drop this small amount. I've literally no idea if that's unsafe or not?! He clearly couldn't injure himself with the fall but still ....

Could this work or not?

Thanks

Could you drill extra holes into the frame so you could match up the height exactly? It's not ideal to have a height difference as it's possible for them to roll down then get stuck.

You can attach the cot to the frame of your bed with straps or bungee ropes, to make sure its secure. You'll need to make sure there's no gap between the mattress as well, so you can shove it towards your mattress, then if there's any gap on the other side you can use a carefully rolled towel to fill in the gap.

HTH

Thanks for the reply. We're useless at DIY so I really wouldn't want to drill holes and my bed has no frame so can't attach it that way.

Sounds like it's a no then ah well, a good nights sleep sounded good for moment there

Alternatively, drop the cot down to the lowest position, and put your single mattress on the floor next to him, or fairly close to the cot.

I had similar with my youngest, and he hated being away from me. In the end I just co-slept for another couple of months with the bed pushed up against the wall. When he was about 11 months he was much happier going in his own room, but we did still need one of us in there to settle him

Sorry, misread a couple of lines of your post

I would do it. I wouldn't leave baby in there unattended until older though.

Make sure the room is baby proofed because it will be easy for baby to crawl out. A pool noodle under the bottom sheet of the cot helps stop accidental rolling.

You also need to consider that the cot and mattress may jiggle apart through general use. I would wedge one side up against a wall to minimise this. I bet there are other DIY ways you could attach the two together.

All that said, I'd do it if i needed to.

Do you have a double mattress you could put on the floor for you both to share? (Instead of cot/single bed)

The pool noodle idea is a great one, I'd do that I think, and put your single next to him. Maybe measure the height different to see how big it is, and there might be an easy way to adjust it or even them out.

Oh.. Does your single bed have slats? Could you put them under to raise the mattress a little?

For some reason the pool noodle doesn't work with him, he's seems to push it out? (Maybe sheets aren't tight enough)

Mine is literally just a mattress on the floor, no base, no slats.

I guess my fear is him falling through a small gap if they come apart. I don't know at what age I can stop worrying about that?

He's not distraught, it's just poor quality sleep (frequent waking, tossing and turning) DH thinks that's just part of the process of moving him into own room but I'm a big softy not sure

How does he sleep if you share a bed?

He sleeps wonderfully if we share a bed, wakes to feed but otherwise sleeps right through.

In the cot he also full wakes for about an hour around 4am

I know it makes sense to keep Bedsharing but I don't know if I'm making him too dependant on me when it comes to sleep.

I'm in exactly the same situation as you with my 8 month old. Teething has put a stop on my attempts to get her into her cot recently and now I fear she has gotten too used to bed sharing ( and rolling over to me for a feed when she pleases). I don't know when to try again because I've heard 8 months is a hard time to try because it is a clingy age.

Sorry I've got no advice to give, I wish I did lol!

A completely different way to approach weaning off cosleeping would be personal space within the bed.

Instead of you moving into a single bed in baby's room with a sidecar cot, send DH into the nursery and have baby in the double bed. However make a point of creating personal space in bed. For example:

• one settled turn your back on baby. Staying close but facing away
• settle baby on one side of Thebes then roll to the other side
• be on the other side of the bed and facing away from baby.

The idea being that you gradually move away from the default position being wrapped around baby physically close.

It means you are still right there to respond to needs straight away, but gradually teaches independence in sleep.

Thebes = the bed

Seriously, just carry on sharing. If its the option that gives you the most sleep, and the one that means he sleeps through mostly, then you'd be daft to mess with it.

DS wouldn't have gone into his own room at this age, he just didn't sleep. At 11 months he went in the cot just fine.

Don't worry about making him to dependant on you. If anything, I think knowing that you're close can help them feel more secure and more independent in the long run, and 8months is leading up to peak separation anxiety phase, so it might be best to just wait a couple of months tbh

Thanks again.

The funny thing is @FATEdestiny - when Bed share he doesn't sleep anywhere near me! He rolls to other side of bed.

@SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower, I know - I would like to carry on bed sharing but he rolls around so much I'm worried he will either fall out (I can't get bed against a wall - I've got pool noodles around for now) or I'll roll onto him as I've never any clue where he is (I won't up to find his head by the side of my bum last week! Very very light duvet so that was fine but still ...)

Currently waking at 4am and having to go back to the double bed with him. No choice but to keep trying I guess?

Yeah, I remember that nightmare. Swear I only half slept during that phase.
I got bed guards in the end, which bought me a bit more time.

It's really hard though