8-month old, not sleeping through

[sycamore54321]

My 8 month old has great sleep habits for his naps and when going down at night. However he has never slept through and usually wakes twice to be fed back to sleep. Typical day is:

0645 wake

0845 nap for 45 minutes

1230 nap for 2 hours (sometimes a little more or less)

1830 bedtime. So far so good until...

2330 wake, cry, bottle

0300 wake, cry, bottle

Things I have tried or am trying:

Increasing solids and milk intake throughout the day. He has a fairly set limit for what he will take though and will posset or puke if I push him into over feeding. He takes four bottles during the day (I make 8 ounces but he takes between 6-7 usually) and three meals with a small breakfast porridge and usually protein and veg blends for lunch and dinner. I also give him some hand snacks.

I have recently introduced a "lovey" for sleep - a small newborn-safe soft toy. I know this is against guidelines but he seems to get some comfort from it and having watched him play with it when awake, I am clear on his ability to move it away if it is on his head etc.

He has a dummy since birth but is only moderately interested in it and often falls asleep without it. He can replace it in is own mouth if it is within hands reach.

When putting him down for naps or night, I do cuddle, last bit of bottle and a song in a chair in his room. Then lay him awake in his cot with dummy and teddy and walk out. He usually chatters himself to sleep in five minutes or so.

When he wakes in the night, only a bottle will soothe him. He will then immediately go back to sleep.

So please help! A lot of the advice I read is based on creating strong routines for initially falling asleep but he is great at taking himself off for a nap or the start of nighttime sleep. Any advice for how to stop the waking welcome.

Thanks.

My advice would be that he still needs the night feeds and you just keep going for a few more months. If he's hungry, he's hungry. You could try gradually reducing the amount in the bottle to see if it is hunger or habit.

Sounds like a perfect baby! They are still experiencing a very steep growth level and do need the milk through the night so just keep going with it, it's not a 'habit' it's him telling you what he needs.

Completely normal baby and it's completely normal to wake up still - just go with it. My 3 year old still doesn't sleep through! There's a ridiculous idea that all babies should sleep through from about 6 weeks in the uk - all children are different and yours just needs you at night still

I'm back to work shortly and won't be able to function with such broken sleep. I really don't think he needs "me" specifically - he doesn't interact when he wakes and he'd be perfectly content I imagine with a bottle from a robot or a stranger as long as he got it. My elder child was long sleeping through by this age and I have always needed lots of sleep to function. Getting up twice nightly seems excessive to me at 8 months and I'd like to try to help him out of it.

I should add he had a spell at a younger age when he would only wake once nightly, so it's like he is going the wrong way!

If I were to limit his intake overnight, any ideas on whether I should aim to reduce the first or the second bottle, or both at once?

You maybe have some unrealistic expectations from your first. My DC4 had/has great sleep habits and was night weaned by 4m old. But not sleeping through reliably until closer to 12m. DC3 was sleeping solidly 12 hours from 7 weeks. That didn't mean I considered there to be anything wrong with DC4s sleep.

Firstly, I know you've just introduced a lovely. But Google a sleepytot in addition to or as well as the lovely. It's a comforter toy that can attach dummies to the legs. Makes baby finding own dummy easier. A muslin knitted around the dummy loop works in a similar way.

Next, I would suggest night weaning if you feel you can move these calories to the daytime (with bigger portion sizes and more food groups). Set your expectations that not feeding in the night is not a 'magic wand' for sleeping through. But it is a necessary first step.

So I would develop alternate ways to settle baby without feeding. Dummy and in-cot reassurance might do it. Some people like to still offer the bottle but with water in. I think this just prolonged the agony and frustrated baby, but it works for many.

Also bear in mind that once back at work you should be expecting your DO to equally share the burden of night wake ups.

I was just going to say he sounds like a dream! My 23 month old woke up every 90mins until about 4 months ago and only napped for 20 mins at a time until he was 9 months or so and then only in my arms. There's nothing wrong with him but boy did I need to hear that when everyone else's baby seemed to be sleeping through by 3 months old and feeling so fucking sorry me and making out like there was something wrong with mine!

By 6 months my body had adapted to the sleep deprivation and when I went back to work at 9 months I coped much better as work is easier than looking after DS all day so I felt I had more patience and energy for him.

I wouldn't try and do anything, he will sleep through when he's ready, like I said he already sounds like he sleeps wonderfully so I think you've been spoiled by your first born! Honestly just ride it out, you don't need to do anything to 'fix' him.

I'd bring the 11.30 bottle forward to yours/your DH's bedtime and then its only one night waking to deal with which is pretty manageable.

Then you could experiment with reducing/delaying the 3am bottle.

I think you need to manage your expectations and find other ways to cope with the sleep deprivation (earlier to bed, catch up at weekends, etc). It's perfectly normal for a baby to still need a night feed until at least a year old. And every baby is different, my DD1 dropped her night feeds at six months (only realise now how lucky I was!!) but my DD2 has just dropped from two feeds to one feed at almost 11 months. She will probably not sleep through for another few months and I am back to work in a few weeks. We just have to suck it up and get on with it, remember it's only temporary.

My son was up every 3 hours until 18 months. He then just grew out of it and now will only be up once or not at all. You just learn to cope with broken sleep and adjust. It is hard but it won't last forever.