Advice needed for 4mo

[CremeDeSudo]

Hi all posting on behalf of my sister who is struggling with her DD, 4mo. Apologies for the length and any help would be gratefully received!

Hi all,

Really hoping you can help.. I’m currently going through the 4 month sleep regression/ leap 4 and struggling. My LG is now 18 weeks and it started at 16 weeks.. She was sleeping really well, we put her down drowsy but awake and after a few kick offs in the beginning she seemed to get the hang of it.. She woke twice in the night at 1 & 4 (breastfed) and slept 7-6.30 ish

Since week 16, she has been waking constantly.. We put her down for 7 and she’ll wake 2/3 times before 10 each time we have to try to resettle by shhing.. I will then dream feed but she will wake again about 12 and throughout the night every 1- 2 hours.. I have recently been refusing to feed her, only feeding twice at night as she was before (she doesn’t want feeding as she take two sucks and uses me to go to sleep, she also refused the bottle from my husband!) and shhing in-between but we don’t seem to be getting anywhere..

I’m wondering whether I am doing the right thing shhing in-between? I have read she needs to learn to self settle but as she still hasn’t learnt anything am I expecting too much from such a young age?!

We are also wondering whether she is teething and struggling to differentiate between pain cry and tantrum cry ☹ we had a massive breakdown from her at 2 am last night which was horrible and I don’t know what else to do!

Not sure whether it’s related but she has also dropped a nap, now only taking 3x30mins naps so she must be exhausted as well!!

It really is up to your sister what she does during the regression as you'll get varying opinions. For us the regression didn't last long and I bedshared to cope. I fed her every time she woke and now only wakes 2-3 times (last night it was just once). She's not creating a bad habit by feeding her each time and it's usually the quickest way to get baby back to sleep! Baby is only following instincts so won't understand why sometimes she is fed and sometimes she's not x

Has she tried a dummy?

She won't take the dummy. She's been trying since birth!

Feeding her each time doesn't sound like it's working as she's not actually taking anything and waking up again an hr later.

Personally I think the issue is that she can't resettle herself so needs something to help her go back to sleep and repeats every new sleep cycle.

Is 4mo too young for sleep training? No cry or otherwise?

Again it really depends on how your sister feels. I don't believe in sleep training as I believe sleep is developmental so it's about what works for now. It is highly likely baby needs the calories though so even if your sister wanted to train, it's not really recommended until baby is on solids as milk is their only nutrition. She could be going through a growth spurt therefore need the extra milk.

Tell her to read up on kellymom growth spurts and google Sarah Ockwell-Smith normal baby sleep x

4 months is really late to get baby to accept a dummy, so she may have missed the boat. Although my eldest had gets first time at 20 weeks, so certainly worth some perseverance.

4 months is too young for sleep training. By all means start the NCSS method. Understand it's a long journey thoyg h. At this age NCSS suggests introducing thd Pantly Pull off (Google for more info). It basically means feeding to sleep but unlatching baby just before asleep and cudfling to sleep instead.

Co sleeping might be an easier option, if she's up for that long term.

We went through this at 4 months. DD refused to stay in her co-sleeper by my side, and just wanted to cuddle with us. See it this way: it's a progression, not a regression, as it means she has reached a developmental milestone.

We started bedsharing and we haven't looked back. She's now 9 months old (EBF + BLW solids), she sleeps on the boob and we get a solid 8-hour sleep. I was even joking a few days ago that I feel less tired now than certain periods during my pre-baby life when I used to overwork in the office.

Please avoid 'sleep training' at all costs. All such a small baby needs is contact and response from their carers.