10mo still being rocked to sleep

[Bethan2]

Hi all,

My son is 10 months. He sleeps around 11 hours a night (normally straight through, for which I am very grateful). He has 2 naps a day totalling around 2 hours.

At nighttime he will settle fine. After receiving his final bottle in the cot, he just turns over, gets comfy and falls asleep. The issue is he still needs movement to get to sleep during the day. Daytime naps are either in the buggy (easy motion!) or in his cot. If it's a cot nap, we rock him until he falls asleep. He gets laid lengthways on our lap and we rock him by moving our legs from side to side, supporting his head with our hand. We carefully transfer him to the cot once his eyes have been closed for two minutes and he naps fine.

My husband finds this ok, as he's a fairly big chap and his legs are longer and wider than mine. However I have been finding this really hard on my body as my son has been getting longer and heavier 😯. My legs and back ache and my hand and wrist are getting numb and painful from holding his head 😣. He can take up to 20 minutes sometimes to fall asleep and it is becoming an issue.

I have tried having his head on my leg but I am worried about hurting his neck, plus his legs bash on the sofa 😮. We've tried putting him in the cot while drowsy but he just wakes up and gets upset 😔.

Does anyone know how to transition him out of needing movement to sleep? Or how much longer I might need to do this for?

Thanks for reading x

I would try settling him in the same position, but with less rocking. A sort of transition to get him used to being stationary for this nap, and then being in the cot. But not doing both at the same time.

So for example put him in position, rock until he's calm and then stop rocking but leave him there. If he reacts to you stopping, start again. Once hes calm stop again. Over time (like a few weeks) you should find he is better when you stop rocking and stays calm. Gradually reduce how much rocking you need to do until it is just lay him on your knee and wait without moving.

(Incidentally your dh needs to be doing the same)

While teaching him to be stationary to go to sleep, introduce something you do for reassurance that is transferable into the cot. I like putting my hand on baby's chest or back. So every time you stop rocking, instead of rocking out your hand on baby's chest.

Once he is used to being stationary to go to sleep, then move his nap to the cot. Use your hand on his chest like the rocking. Hand on chest all the time initially. Then reduce so you remove your hand when baby is calm but lot it back if needed.

I was going to say exactly the same thing as fate - we had the same issue but managed to break the habit by 6mo by doing exactly what she suggested. The key is to put them down drowsy but awake and they learn to sleep themselves.

It's harder the older they get but start bit by bit now and you will get there. Someone once said to me 'she won't be 18 and needing to be rocked to sleep' and that made me relax a bit - they will obviously get there eventually! But it's in all your interests to try and get there sooner rather than later. It used to kill my back too!!

Had this exact issue OP! We did as fate describes which is basically the 'gradual retreat' technique.

Only problem we had was that rocking /movement then suddenly stopped working so DS would just cry when trying to go off to sleep, even in our arms which was awful. When that happened we put him in the cot (as rocking wasn't working anyway) and just did everything possible to soothe him, basically cuddling/rocking him in the cot. He cried for a good 10 minutes the first time, which was heartbreaking, but the day before he'd cried for 20 mins in my arms which gave me the momentum to carry on, and he then went to sleep.

Doing the gradual retreat process also taught me to listen to his cries more, and listen if he is actually upset in which case I would obviously go to him straight away, or whether he was just 'shouting' and a bit frustrated, in which case it was better if I didn't interfere as that would infuriate him!

My DS now goes to sleep on his own and sometimes he sort of shakes his head from side to side as he's about to fall asleep, he's learned to create a bit of movement for himself to self settle.

You will get there but it does take time! It's definitely worth it as I was also struggling with the weight of bouncing rocking and that was as 4/5 months!

Hello lovely ladies, thanks so much for all your replies and taking the time to respond to my problem. I really appreciate it! We've started making the changes required and will hopefully get there! X

I'm in the same situation with my 11 month old so have been reading this thread! In our case , I stopped feeding my ds to sleep about a month ago and we have been rocking him instead. We do put him down drowsy but awake but sometimes he just keeps popping back up because he wants to be picked up and cuddled again!

Oh yes, they do love cuddles! I am utterly petrified of not giving him milk as I fear he won't sleep (he guzzles down his last feed of the day, so I know he needs it) and I need sleep! 😔 Am hoping he just weans himself off the milk over time... 🤔

My ds still has a breastfeed before bed and it was more of a comfort thing than a hungry thing now which is why I wanted to stop it so now he has his feed before we take him upstairs and he doesn't feed for as long now so just has the milk he actually wants. If that makes sense! I'll carry on offering a drink of milk before bed for a while yet I think. My dd still has some milk before bed at age 3 we just make sure she cleans her teeth after.

When my dh put ds down for his nap earlier he only had to rock him for 3 minutes then he put him down and left the room - big improvement! Fingers crossed tonight goes well too.

Let us know how you get on op!