4 month sleep regression - will it ever end?

[mistermagpie]

My 4 month old thinks sleep is for wimps. I've googled the 4 month sleep regression, but descriptions seem to relate to babies who were previously good sleepers. He never has been. He's never slept more than 3.5 hours in a row overnight. He's formula fed and the internet suggests he should sleep 'better' but he clearly hasn't read the internet... my older child was a fantastic sleeper and I feel like I am paying for that now. I'm so so tired, I get maybe 4-5 hours broken sleep a night at very best? And have a toddler so can't 'nap when the baby naps' during the day.

So, baby tends to go to sleep around 8pm 'for the night' (haha), he's up again about 10pm for a feed. Then I take him upstairs with me and he might sleep til 12 but then he's up either every hour or he's just awake the whole time. He doesn't cry, doesn't want a feed, he's just awake. And so am I. He might sleep between 5-6am for an hour but that's after being up and down all night. The poor lad must be knackered. I know I am. Ironically he naps pretty well during the day and is alert, happy, smiley etc.

He has a dummy, he's in the next to me cot and I bring him in with me sometimes. He eats less milk than he should (according to the box) but weight gain is fine and I can't force feed him.

I'm terrified this is permanent. I love him so much but I'm shattered and DH and the poor toddler (who is lovely and no bother really) get it in the neck by me being short tempered and stressed.

Any tips? A hand hold? I would give my right arm for some sleep. I've honestly fantasised about a night in the travelodge up the road...

Have some

We've just come out of the 4 month sleep regression (hopefully!) and while it was not pleasant it only lasted about 4 weeks.

DD was a decent sleeper beforehand, so not quite the same situation as yours, but what really helped us was a temporary return to the swaddle. (She does not roll yet). She absolutely despised it when we tried it in the early days, but now loves it and immediately slept longer.

Other than that I don't have much advice, perhaps try to get your little one to self settle if possible. We started being stricter about not feeding to sleep and she has finally started going back to sleep on her own when she wakes up briefly (at least sometimes).

All the best - it will be over soon!

No advice, my four month old won't sleep. He fights it so hard then I finally get him down and he wakes up 40 minutes later. It is so tough. You are doing so well coping with this and another one.

I promise it will end. I felt at my wits end and on the brink of depression during the regression!! It has ended, LO is 6 months and I'm quietly waiting for the next regression whilst appreciating the current sleep 😂 Promise it will get better xx

I wholeheartedly recommend white noise, it is the saviour for us for so many things.

No advice but some sympathy from me!! I'm still there, have a toddler too who slept well so understand how you feel.

Love xx

Thanks for the support, it's so so hard dealing with both boys when I'm this tired, I suppose I didn't expect this because DS1 was such a good sleeper. I have had a terrible day today and spent most of the afternoon in tears while trying to hide it from the toddler. Both boys are lovely but I am finding it very hard to cope. Just one night of decent sleep is all I need.

We use white noise and a nightlight already and DH does his bit in terms of night waking DS but when we're all in the same room it's one up all up anyway.

I feel like we have just come out of the colic hell and now we are here...

I second the PP who suggested a return to the swaddle, if you used one before. Or a tightly tucked in sheet. It's to calm flaying arms and kicking legs.

How many feeds is baby having overnight? If he doesn't want bigger feeds in the daytime you could try making them more frequent so there are more bottles per day.

What's his daytime sleep routine like?

He was swaddled to sleep until recently actually (we used swaddle bags) but I thought he was maybe getting a bit old for that now? He is a very 'flappy' baby. He's been out of the bag for a couple of weeks (which to be fair has coincided with the worst of the terrible sleep...) so would it be a backward step to reintroduce it?

His daytime naps are quite strict, we follow the 90 minute sleep programme so he is put down for a nap 90 minutes after waking from the last one. If I miss the 90 min 'window', which I did this afternoon because DS1 had an appointment, then he gets very upset and screams the place down. He naps for 30-40 minutes usually but occasionally 1-2 hours if he's had a particularly bad night.

Oh, feeds, he has one overnight. But he doesn't want it really, he'll only take 2-3oz and then gets upset when you offer more. I have tried more feeds but he won't take it.

Sounds like a great nap routine. I'd retry the swaddle, it is very useful for getting through this stage. Or at least wean off with less of a cliff-edge.

For example changing from a swaddle bag to a flat sheet or giant muslin for swaddling means baby can jiggle around and loosen the swaddle in the night. It gets then used to being more 'exposed' in a gradual way.

I literally could have written this myself 🙈.
My 4 month old goes to bed at 7pm and last night was up again by 8.30pm and every 30minutes to an hour after that. He had a 5oz bottle at 11.30pm and didn't want another feed at all during this time.
I have tried EVERYTHING! He just will not stay asleep. I also can't saddle either as he rolls everywhere.
I too have a 17month old so I can't sleep at all in the day.
I've absolutely no advice but I feel your pain and you're not alone.

Swaddle not saddle.... I blame the sleep deprivation.

Hi

I am right there with you! Have a 4 month old - no idea if he is in sleep
Regression as not sure what he has regressed from?! Last night during night feed he did a poo so that was a right pain and took ages to get him back to sleep :( still up at 5.45 on the dot with toddler up 10 mins later!

Mine naps well and I can resettle him for longer naps if required. He has two short ones in the morning - longer lunchtime nap and then 1 or 2 short ones in the evening. Not too interested in bottle over night but will have one good feed.

I go to bed when he goes to sleep as I feel I have no other option. My whole world seems to revolve around his sleep and poo!

I have really noticed the sleep deprivation taking its toll this week - feel really fuzzy headed and dizzy. Not slept for more than 3/4 hours in a row max for 4 months. My last was a good sleeper til 5.5 months and then awful til 14 months - who knows how this will go.

I am trying to be positive but it's just getting a bit on top of me now :(

Hope you are ok xx

Oh love. I remember this so very well. My son hit the regression at 5 months and I was so oblivious as we passed 4 months without a hitch, only to get two months of up and down and up and down and up and down (mainly me). No advice other than the other fantastic words - you say he has a dream feed but is reluctant to take it -any chance giving him this is actually making things worse? Only reason I ask is that I preserved with a DF long after DS needed one and I realised me feeding him was actually disturbing his sleep more as he wasn't old enough to digest the food lying down like he can now at 11m. I ended up dropping DF for a little bit, and compensating during the day, and he slept better.

That said my son is a milk monster and was always well above the formula guidelines.

How is your son when he wakes? Instantly upset, crying etc, or content?

Hi,

Feel like I'm reading my own post!! I have a 5 month old who's the exact same- just a total nightmare!!!!! Going to give controlled crying a go tonight as this can't go on, and in the end it's what's best for both of us!

Hi I know it’s an old post but I am going through this at present:( did you come out of it? How when it happened pls