Struggling to get baby to sleep during the day

[SleepForTheWeek]

DD2 is 6 weeks old and getting harder and harder to settle during the day. She will happily fall asleep on the breast but will wake up as soon as I put her down. She would sleep for hours on someone's chest after a feed but that's not practical when I have a toddler to entertain too. I have a wrap she likes to sleep in but after an hour my shoulders start to ache. Our days are basically just trying to get DD2 to sleep while telling DD1 i'll play with her in a minute. She won't take a dummy at all, and just wants to suckle to sleep or be rocked - it can take 30mins getting her to sleep for her to then wake 10 mins later!

She sleeps OK at night, wakes every 2-4 hours for a feed, then i'll put her back in the sleepyhead once she's sleeping.

I'm exhausted trying to juggle an overtired newborn and a frustrated toddler :(

Google 4th trimester.

Try a different sling? We had exactly the same, DS didn't nap anywhere but in the sling or (moving) pram until he was 6 months. I got an Ergo and he practically lived in it between 3-6 months. Best money I spent on the baby.

Forgot to say, I had a Moby wrap when he was too small/floppy to go in the Ergo. They do a newborn insert but I didn't get on with it.

Get a swing and persevere with the dummy. Try to feed on waking so she isn't always feeding to sleep.

It's a moby wrap I use and I love it but it gets uncomfortable after a while. I also have an Ergo which i'll use when she's a bit older.

Up until very recently she would have 2-3 hour naps during the day!

I've tried so much with dummies but she now just gets hysterical when one goes near her mouth :(

I don't mind feeding to sleep at all - if she stayed asleep!

It's so hard at that stage SleepForTheWeek - they go through a HUGE growth spurt at 6 weeks. I remember finding that time very tough. My baby would sleep nearly all day or not at all! It will pass, look after yourself in the meantime x

Bouncy chair? Bounce to sleep then once they're off ease up on the bouncing slowly.

Until I spotted you had another child i was just going to say "let her sleep at the breast" or "why don't gou cosleep for naps", but I see that's not possible or feasible with a toddler.

Firstly - have you tried a swaddle? It makes moving a sleeping baby easier because it dulls down external stimulation. In addition it recreates womb conditions, which actively calms baby.

The idea would be that you swaddle (quite tightly around shoulders, but loose around hips and legs) before feeding. Feed baby whilst in the swaddle. Lift to a wind position on your shoulder whilst swaddled. Then put down.

Baby will orobably fall asleep on the breast (that's what they do), then be disturbed slightly as lifted to your shoulder. Then go to sleep on your shoulder, then get disturbed slightly when being put down.

Putting baby down is an art form. Try bending your body without moving baby from position, so you are hovering horizontal over crib/basket with baby still on your shoulder. As you put baby down, put your hand on babys chest to recreate the body contact and keep your face close to baby's so she can still feel/hear your breath.

A dummy helps at this point (once put down after winding) so I would persevere with that. Mine wasn't accepting a dummy at 6 weeks and I was beside myself with an unhapot newborn. Be persistant and determined with it. Mine finally 'got' the dummy at 7 weeks after consistant, daily, all thd time perseverance. Blimey was it worth it for independant sleep.

If the swaddle thing isn't happening in the daytime, I'd still persevere with this method at night, since it helps get baby used to being put down not-asleep in the cot. But in the daytime a bouncy chair may be better instead.

Just be relentless about the bouncy chair. Sit on the sofa, bouncer at your feet and keep bouncing baby relentlessly. It frees up your arms/hands to play with toddler.

Keep going with the dummy though, iymts a game changer.

In addition check your winding technique. What worked for your eldest might not work with your youngest and wind causes pain which stops baby settling. Also check your feeding, seek support if needed. A hungry baby is never going to settle easily.

The bouncy chair method is what I used for DD1 and I spent hours bouncing that bloody thing. It was a Godsend though. Unfortunately DD2 isn't as keen, she doesn't mind sititng in it for a while when she's awake but won't fall asleep in it.

I could try a swaddle - I haven't tried one so far as she sleeps relatively well at night. She is a very windy baby which disturbs her, and she's on antibiotics to clear up a sinus infection but it has given her diarrhea so that's upsetting her stomach at the moment too.

We've just got back from a walk with DD1 and Ddog with DD2 in the wrap - she was out like a light before we left. I've put her in the moses basket and she's still sleeping but is stirring (doesn't help that DD1 doesn't have an 'indoor' voice!)

I tried for 8 months with DD1 to take a dummy but she just wasn't for it at all and DD2 is the same - even if she does accept it in her mouth she just chews it!

The bouncy chair method is what I used for DD1 and I spent hours bouncing that bloody thing. It was a Godsend though. Unfortunately DD2 isn't as keen

She is still young. I was doing swaddled stationary naps for the whole of the first 6 weeks, gradually moving to more bouncer naps by 3 months.

I can offer a few tips for getting the dummy accepted, I wasn't sure if this is helpful or you just wanted to go with the flow with it?

I would love her to take a dummy so please advise! So far I have tried

Ma'am
Avent newborn
Nuk genius
Philips Soothies

Try when baby has just had a feed.
Try when happy and awake, not when tired or hungry.
Try when tired.
(Don't give dummy when baby is hungry, it ever works)
Try holding baby in breastfeeding position with dummy in
Try whipping nipple out and dummy in at the end of a feed when 'flutter sucks' start.
Try cradle hold rocking holding dummy in (pref whilst also swaddled)
Try leaving alone with dummy in to relax
Try other people giving the dummy (similar psychology to baby taking bottles better from someone else)
... basically just keep trying in alk the different ways you can think of.

Tapping the outside of the dummy encourages sucking. So does stroking cheek.

If dummy is pushed out, it's just baby's newborn tongue-thrust reflex doing that. It's overcomable with time and persistence

As baby relaxes to go to sleep the muscles relax. This includes the jaw muscles used for sucking. Therefore dummy goes limp on baby's mouth and ultimately drops out once baby is asleep. It's meant to do this. Dummy us only needed for going to sleep, it serves no purpose once asleep.

In a very young baby, whos muscles are less well developed (like yours) the dummy can drop before baby is fully asleep, because the muscles are not as strong as they will be when older. It becomes useful to therefore stay with baby until fully asleep, keeping dummy in.

Take dummy out if baby is crying, no point crying with a dummy lying limp in the mouth. Work at getting baby to notice the dummy and comfort suck on it instead of crying, not whilst crying.

Stroke cheek, upper lip with dummy so baby turns to suck it. Angle dummy upwards to roof of the mouth. Try to get baby's attention on the dummy and suck cues (the same as those used when breastfeeding), rather than just sticking te dummy in and hope it's passively noticed.

Try different makes. I swear by cherry teat dummies, as opposed to the orthopaedic or flat teat dummies. I think only one specific type of Tommee Tippee dummies are cherry. Other people swear by MAM dummies.

Then it is just a case of persistence. Not all babies immediately 'get' the dummy. But it is definitely worth it once they do.

So, apart from the cherry teats, I'm pretty sure I've tried all of the above. I can't even get it in her mouth half the time as she just pushes it out with her tongue, but if I do she either chews it or gags on it (which is why I tried small newborn ones too)

DH will go mad if I buy anymore dummies lol.

DH got her to sleep quickly earlier by singing to her (poor baby) and rocking her. Unfortunately, DD1 had a meltdown over pyjamas and her high pitches shrieks woke her up so he took her out in the pram.

I'm going to try swaddling her tonight - need to look up how to do it safely

The lullaby trust should be your bible on safe sleep, they are the charity who research and inform NHS BHS and government policy on SIDS risks.

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/swaddling-slings/

Another relevant page while you're there is this one:

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/dummies-and-sids/

Well today she has taken a dummy!! Tried her again with the Nuk one and held her against me while rocking so it couldn't fall out...and she fell asleep with it! She's taken it a few other times today too.

Now just to get her to use it to fall asleep without one of us holding her!

I used to put all of mine in the pram in the kitchen for daytime naps. (Lying flat obvs)

I'd rock it back and forth for 5 mins with the kitchen extractor fan on high for white noise.

If she likes being rocked then a swing will probably be perfect.

She's just fallen asleep in her Moses basket with the dummy and some white noise.

We have a bouncer with an automatic bounce but it doesn't send her to sleep - maybe when she's a bit bigger

That's fantastic news

Completely refusing the dummy today 😩

Persevere with the dummy, I did with Ds2 ((also have a toddler and baby) and he's taking it reliably now. Also the bouncy chair. I can feed him to sleep, put him.in the bouncy chair where he wakes up, pop dummy in, bounce bounce bounce and he's asleep again. Park him next to the washer or dryer and it's even better.

with our two youngest, we found that a beanbag was good - soft enough that it would come halfway up their body when they were on their backs. They were in the same room as us whenever they were on it. The support meant they didn't twig that they'd been moved away from me

Really the dummy, I got the cheap Tommee tippee ones, far cheaper than all other. They look old fashioned, round teat and it's a yellowy colour rather than clear. Ds will take any dummy really now but he preferred those to start.