Andrea Grace sleep coaching?? Any experiences??

[Oofy2016]

Hi people,

I have a lovely 20 month old and have always parented responsively, co slept up to a year, responded as needed overnight etc. I do not believe in cc/cio or versions of these, but understand they are OK for some parents, so no judgement here, we all do what is best for our own kiddies.

However, my DD now still wakes up to 6 x per night: we have a good bedtime routine, plenty of daylight, white noise, blackout blinds etc etc. She only has water overnight, not milk, is in her own room with a little (red) nightlight...and my hubby and I are exhausted.

What I really want to know is, has anyone out there used Andrea Grace for a similar situation (or ever used her full stop) and how did you find it? She sounds great, and gentle, but its expensive and I am cash-poor right now.

Thanks in advance.

I have a friend who used AG for her 2.5 year old DD and she swears by her method. After a couple of weeks her DD was STTN.
3 nights ago I followed my friend's advice and started using her method for my 18 month old DS.

To be honest I'm not entirely sure it is a gentle method, which is why I am currently beating myself up over using it. Her advice involves having your child crying and not picking them up, which is what I'm struggling with personally.

We are trying it to encourage DS to go to sleep in his cot, as we've been co sleeping pretty much since birth. First night it took nearly 3 hours of crying, with me going in every 2 minutes on the dot to comfort him for a few seconds. Last night, night 3, it took 35 minutes of crying, still with me going in every 2 minutes. Trouble in, he doesn't stay asleep - like yours, wakes up at least 6 times a night. Last night I gave up at midnight after 5 wakes and brought him into bed.

I'd love to hear some positive stories too, or some reassurance that it works, or that it is still gentle parenting, as I'm on the verge of quitting already.

Have you bought her book? I think that covers the basics of her methods. Apparently she is great over the phone/Skype and you get as many follow up emails as you like for a month.

I think the easiest thing is to put them in a big bed and get in with them instead of vice versa. That way their bed becomes the safe warm space. My middle dd was very wakeful and this approach kept us sane

Forgot to say my middle daughter still didn't sstn reliably until she was 6 but never took long to resettle and I stopped needing unbroken nights after 3 years

Now she loves her bed and never puts off going to bed

Oh and she was in a big bed from 18 months with soft cushions on the floor in case she rolled out and a stair gate on her door for safety in case we didn't wake, but we always did

Thanks ladies.
She goes to sleep with our hand resting on her, no feeding or cuddling and then when she wakes, we don't take her out the cot or cuddle her, just give her a few sips of water, she lies herself down happily and goes back to sleep no problem. She's only awake for like 5 mins max each wake up. It's really quick.
I've no idea why she is still waking so much, and that's where I was hoping Andrea might be able to help.
I don't want to not give water, especially in the summer, when it's hot....

I have heard that she will do crying methods, but if you request not to, she has alternatives, and that was what I was hoping to hear...

Thanks again.

Flibbertygibbert- that sounds stressful....did your friends baby cry when she did the same thing?

When we switched to a cot we had it in our room for a few months, and then I slept on a mattress on dd's floor, and always cuddled over the top of the cot if she was upset, and always had a hand on her...if she got really upset I always picked her up. We generally didn't leave the room in those early days so she could adjust to the new sleeping arrangements very slowly.
We also played a lot in the cot during the day so she saw it as a fun and happy place to be. During these games I sometimes climbed in too...it means even now, she sometimes asks to go into her cot.
Having said that, I'm not sure I'm best placed to give sleep advice given our current situation!! X x x

Yep, friend's DD did cry, but it was more angry than upset. I leave my DS for the 2 minutes if he is angry crying, but go in sooner if he is upset crying.

Definitely need to work on him being happier in his room, he's already associating it with crying so hates even being in there!

I don't want to not give water, especially in the summer, when it's hot...

It is worth bearing in mind that a healthy baby/child who is well hydrated should not be waking due to thirst. Even in summer. If you genuinely believe she is waking thirsty (I doubt It, I think it's more habit), then increase her daytime fluid intake significantly and reduce salt intake (which increases thirst). If you are in tropical heat, increase daytime fluids further so that thirst is not a factor at night.

I suspect the water is just an excuse to get a little reassurance from you. Not a reason for waking.

Thanks fatedestiny.

I agree, but she can sometimes down a whole sippy cup of water, I often drink overnight...so I guess I'm projecting my needs into hers possibly.

I offer water regularly throughout the day, but sometimes she drinks, sometimes she doesn't. I know she gets offered water at nursery, but does come home thirsty sometimes.

I agree, it might be an excuse, but I don't have the confidence to withhold it....how do I know? Do I just try removing the water and see if she settles?

she can sometimes down a whole sippy cup of water

Her stomach is empty. It means nothing that she physically can/does drink in the night. That is not 'evidence' (for want of a better word) that she's thirsty.

Do I just try removing the water and see if she settles?

She probably won't settle. The sippy cup thing is a convenient failsafe that will always get your attention without a battle. So she's not going to be happy about not having it. It's a behaviour thing though, not thirst.

Try leaving 3 or 4 (or 5 or 6) no-drip sippy cups of water in her cot overnight if you don't want to deny her. Then she can get a drink herself.

OP just from another point of view, I woke various times last night to drink water, and I drank a lot in the day too. My room was quite warm. I think it's definitely possible baby could get thirsty in the night x

Dominos pizza always makes me wake up thirsty. I assume it must be the salt content. Bacon does too. And back in my hayday, alcohol would make me thirsty.

OP, rather than considering if you are projecting your needs, maybe consider changing your habits alongside your child. Maybe you can both resolve to drink more to be better hydrated?

For comparison, from school age (4-5 years old) my children have drank between 3 and 5 litres a day. Every day they have:

• a glass (200ml ish?) of fruit juice with breakfast
• take their 1 litre water bottle to school. It's often refilled and extra drank if its a hot day or lots of running around.
• have 1 litre of dilute squash in a sports beaker ready for when they get home from school. It's all drank before dinner at 5.30.
• refill their 1l breakers with water for the main meal. Drank over dinner and through to bedtime.
• in addition to the above which they have every day, if going to football / swimming club / netball / athletics they also take a 1l breaker with them.

Obviously at 20 months yours won't drink that much. My nearly 3 year old drinks around 2-3 litres a day and at 18-24m it was probably around 1000-1500ml of water, then milk in addition. This is all in the daytime, not at night.

It could be that your own drinking habits are projecting into your child and could do with altering? I don't know, it was just a suggestion since you mentioned it.

I often have a drink in the night, and my 3 and 6 year old take drinks to bed with them. The sip of water isn't the issue, its needing you to give her the drink that is causing you problems. I would just give her a non-drip cup in bed and encourage her to get her own drink.

Agree with Elizabeth, can you leave the cup with baby? X