Could this be 4 month regression?

[Saz467]

My LO is 3.5 months and his sleep has changed slightly in the last 2 weeks. Possibly a. It early for regression, but I understand it can happen between 3-5 months.

Generally he is sleeping more lightly, and often won't properly go back to sleep after his night feed (he generally has just one at the moment). This morning he woke at 3 but dozed until 4 when I fed him. He used to go straight back to sleep after a night feed, but now it takes him 20 mins at least to settle - periods of quiet where he's drifting off, then he wakes again. He doesn't cry, just squawks or grunts, then drifts off again. I finally got him up at 7 this morning after he'd been happily chatting away for 30 mins. I don't think either of us really went back to sleep properly after the feed. Maybe for an hour, but the rest of the time was dozing at best.

Naps in his cot are still ok, but in pram/car he will now only catnap. Bedtime has become a half hour settling job when it used to be plonk him down and he goes off by himself.

He has always been good at self settling, and I have always intervened as little as possible. Is this likely to be the regression, and if so any tips on dealing with it? I'm hoping it will just pass at some point...!

It's not regression its progression. Babies get older and more alert, things change.

Just keep trying things, you'll find something that works.

It's not regression its progression

Good little saying, I might start using this myself. Describes perfectly what happens in the "4 month sleep regression" that isn't actually a regression.

Saz467 - remember when you were pregnant and they split development into trimesters? Each trimester lasts 13-14 weeks, so 3 and a bit months. When baby is born, initially this type of development continues a while, as baby gets used to being alive.

Some people call it the fourth trimester, but really it's just the newborn phase; the first 3 or 4 months. During these early months baby's sleep physiology is similar to when in-utero.

Sleep is generally passive in the newborn, so relatively easy. As long as all needs are met, baby will sleep as their passive state. Baby will wake for an unmet need, then just go back to the passive state of asleep once the need is met.

Put if the fourth trimester, so 3-4 months old, sleep changes. This isn't a regression that will go back to "normal" if you ride it through. It is perminant change, what normal is has changed and sleep will never go back to the passive state of the newborn.

Sleep now starts to become an active endeavour. Baby needs help to get to sleep. Getting to sleep now requires actively working at, in a way it won't have before. Sleep also develops into cycles of light sleep and deep sleep, so baby needs help to learn to stay asleep through sleep cycles.

As PP days, it's about finding the most effective way to help baby go to sleep. There's no point just leaving baby to grizzle in the hope he'll go to sleep when ready, the grizzle is saying "help me go to sleep" because evidentalky baby cant do it without help.

It's at this 3-4 months time that a dummy becomes invaluable. Other tried and tested ways to help baby get to sleep:

• full tummy
• something to suck
• rhythmic movement
• your phstlyical closeness (hand in chest, patting, shushing, cuddling, co sleeping)

If you don't already have the side off the cot, I'd suggest trying this now. It means you can do your settling with baby lying down in the cot and you cuddling up from your bed. In-cot settling is ideal for long term slerp independence, and this is a way to gently teach in-cot settling.

Thank you both. Genuine question - not a challenge - why is he sometimes able to put himself to sleep (9 times out of 10 for naps and very often after night feeds) but other times requires help as you describe? He has been very alert from about 4 weeks old and I have felt that sleep is an active endeavour for a while. As he usually drops off by himself after a bit of wriggling and chatting, I thought he'd already learned the skill! And therefore hoped he'd be minimally disrupted by the regression/progression.

And btw I have done in-cot settling ever since feeding to sleep stopped working around 4 weeks (too alert and sensitive to my slightest movement), and it's been pretty successful.

There's greater pressure to sleep at different times.

For example a just-got-tired baby at bedtime (so ready for an extended, longer sleep) would be easiest to get to sleep.

An over-tired baby at bedtime as the same sleep pressure as above (in that is ready for a long sleep and will have had a period of awake time to lead into bedtime), but actively getting to sleep is made more difficult by being over tired.

Any daytime naps have less sleep pressure than bedtime. Because while baby needs a sleep/nap, the body is not looking for 10-12h of sleep. So the pressure to go to sleep is less. This means more 'work' is ususlky needed for daytime naps compared to bedtime.

Then how tired baby is factors-into daytime naps too. A just-got-tired baby will be easier to get to sleep for a daytime nap than an over-tired baby. Sleep pressure is less in the daytime so you have to help baby to counter less pressure and also how exhausted baby is.

Night wakes are also strongly affected by sleep pressure. It's tge reason early mirnibg wake ups can be hard to get baby back to sleep. Because baby has had 8h+ sleep, while not enough for it yo be considered a healthy nights sleep, it is enough to significantly lower sleep pressure so that extra help is needed.

There loads more. It's a really delicate balance factoring in all the different things that affect how easy it is to get baby to sleep. Sleep pressure and tiredness are just two, hunger, method of getting to Slerp, general nature of baby's personality and loads more also matter. Getting baby to sleep will be a sliding scale - sometimes it's easier, sometimes harder, and everything in between - depending on numerous circumstances.

Thanks. What confuses me at the mo is that naps are ok but bedtime is difficult, but as you say there are many factors. The only real problem we have is the not properly going back to sleep after night feeds, as it results in not enough hours sleep overall. I am trying to increase daytime calories and maybe soon we won't have a night feed to cause problems! I can hope, anyway...

Thanks for your help.

On average the most common reason for struggling with bedtime is over tiredness, cumulative over the day.

Over night wakes are, on average, most commonly caused by inadequate settling method and less pressure to sleep. Plus adding in hunger at some times.

If less help is needed for daytime naps, this suggests you have awake time ok. But if bedtime might be cumulative ovetiredness from the day, it suggests you could reduce awake time further or extend nap lengths.

It's all a giant balancing act and usually involved looking at the whole picture in one go, including various factors over 24/48h, rather than just 'I did this at today's bedtime and the result was this'.