5 month DS refusing to sleep & desperately need help!

[newmummysw]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any advice please. My just turned 5 month DS used to be pretty good with nap times, however over the last couple of weeks it has become more difficult to the point where he just screams when I put him down 😢 over the last day or 2 they have become really angry screams. He's always been such a sunny happy baby but now he just seems grumpy most of the time.

I have tried what feels like everything to overcome this; ssshhh pat, picking up & putting down when calm, reading stories, singing lullabies, stroking him. I used to go by the clock & how long he's been awake which did work, but doesn't any more - I have tried putting him down 2 hours after waking & an hour & a half after waking, but no success. I tried longer but that didn't work either. I check all the obvious - temperature, nappy, hunger etc.

He has just learned to roll over & does this a lot when put in his cot, he can't roll back yet though so often he gets stuck on his front & screams. I have tried gently placing my hand on him to encourage him to lie still but it just feels like nothing works.

I have just spent an hour trying to placate him, I can get him to stop crying but every time he goes back in his cot or I leave the room he starts again. He is now asleep on my bed after exhausting himself. When he does nap it won't be longer than 30 minutes, you could almost set the clock by him!

My last resort used to be taking him out in his pushchair which always worked, but over the last couple of days he screams in there too.

He was pretty good at going down at bedtime, usually between 7.30 & 8.30, but last night it took an hour of screaming & placating before he slept.

Sorry for the long post, I wanted to include as much info as I could. I just feel completely useless & like I can't do this at all, I just want to cry when it comes to putting him down for sleep 😢 I do my best to hide this from DS with lots of smiles & a breezy voice because I know they can pick up on tension.

Thanks to anyone who can help.

A dummy may help reduce the crying, so that going to sleep is a calmer, quieter affair.

I'd also suggest you reconsider your concept of if something is "working" or not. The more over-tired baby is, the harder it will be to get him to sleep and requiring more help from you. You have to use your common sense and be more confident in your decision baby needs to sleep.

If all signs are baby needs more sleep than he's getting (and "grumpy most of the time" is a very obvious sign of this. Likewise difficulty in getting to sleep) then it is not a case of anything not working, just that he needs more help than that right now. Whatever it is that you've considered has not worked is not that it's a method closed off to you, it's just that in that moment it was not enough and more help was needed.

I'd have an escalating series of help I can give baby to get to sleep. But they start with the knowledge that:

• an over tired will fight sleep. I know better than baby so will know baby needs to go to sleep and be relentless about getting baby to sleep. Sooner rather than later.
• baby needs to go to sleep where they stay asleep. Moving an already asleep baby is never a good idea after about 2 or 3 months old.
• tried and tested things that help baby sleep are: full tummy, sucking, movement, your presence.

So my go-to answer for naps at this stage is dummy and bouncy chair. 60-90 minutes awake time, erring on the side of more sleep not more awake time. So I'd go for baby having been fed and into bouncer after waking, which allows for up to 30m to get to sleep.

Then just be relentless about it. Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce; rhythmically and non-stop. Dummy reinserts as needed. Eye contact, physical contact with your hand, if needed. Just. Keep. Going.

Get yoyrself organised. Position the bouncer by your feet in front of the sofa. Have the tv remote and a cuppa in your hand. Make sure baby is fed within the hoir after waking and into bouncer 60-90m from waking - baby will need a sleep so dont doubt yourself. Just keep foot bouncing, dummy reinsert, keep going. Watch tv while your doing it, don't stress just keep going.

30-45 minute naps are normal in this stage, don't worry about that either. Just keep them frequent.

"So I'd go for baby having been fed and into bouncer 60 minutes after waking, which allows for up to 30m to get to sleep"

Thank you so much for your response. My DH always says that I struggle to see things from another perspective, & that once something happens (eg a method doesn't work), I think that's it forever. It's really helpful to have an outside perspective & for someone else that doesn't know me to spot it immediately & point it out too.

Baby has never taken a dummy although he does suck his thumb to go to sleep. I hadn't tried the bouncy chair as I thought I had to persevere with the cot so he would always associate it with sleep, but I need to come at things with fresh eyes so will try this, thank you.