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Sleep

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Original poster

Do you still get up in the night to check they're breathing?

25 replies

irishjewels · 13/07/2004 13:38

I'm just wondering who does or doesn't wake/get up in the night to check their children are ok? I have always woken 2 or 3 times to check ds (now 27mths) but have been so tired recently that i have slept through the night. When i do wake up i feel really guilty and wonder if anything had happened would i be in the wrong for not checking him during the night?

I did have a scare at 5mths but this was a one-off and is no chance now of it ever happening again. I would really value anyones comments on their routine.

OP posts:

Piffleoffagus · 13/07/2004 13:42

I always check before I go to bed both kids one 20mths and one aged 10yrs!
DH and I had a row about it the other night, he says I never let him be the last to leave the room, or that I do not trust him to check our youngest on his own.
I tried to tell him that it was not to check whether he had tucked her in properly, but for my own peace of mind, I cannot sleep having not checked them...
But not through the night unless they call out for me etc...

bootsmonkey · 13/07/2004 13:46

No, I don't - I do sometimes marvel at how quiet it all is and wonder if everything is OK, but I know if I went in I would wake DD (26mo)as she is a very light sleeper. Also, once in bed I am loathe to move and will not get up unless crying ensues, which unfortunately still happens on a regular basis.

I think this is a very personal thing and a judgement call only you can make. There is definately no right or wrong. I am firmly of the never wake a sleeping child school! As in all things parenting it has to be what makes you comfortable and if not doing it makes you feel uneasy then keep checking. However it does sound like you need the sleep to me!

Original poster

irishjewels · 13/07/2004 13:52

Sure do need that sleep! It will help me to hear that its ok when mums allow themselves to sleep thru (ie 1am to 7am). i am single mum and have just started working a few evenings when ds in bed so just that bit more tired.

OP posts:

poppyseed · 13/07/2004 16:12

I check on both ours before I go to bed (aged 14 months and 5)can't seem to settle otherwise. Never go to them in the middle of the night unless they call out though.

Posey · 14/07/2004 00:31

Same as poppyseed. Always check them (age 7 and 18m) before I go to bed, and then dh will often go in if he's been on a late (between midnight and 3am) but thats only to see them rather than check them IYSWIM.

lavender1 · 14/07/2004 00:43

I feel uncomfortable if I haven't given ds and dd a good night kiss before I go to bed, whatever time of night that might me. They are nearly 9 and 7 1/2...don't think I'll ever stop doing it.

Lisa78 · 14/07/2004 00:47

yup! And he's 8 months! I worry more when he naps in the day too

misdee · 14/07/2004 00:59

i pop my head round the door each night on my way to bed, and put their blankets back on, and always check on them then. but unless i wake up myself and get some irrational thought in my head something may be wrong i dont tend to check on them part-way thro. but then they do like to check on me but jumping on me to see if i'm ok.

strangerthanfiction · 14/07/2004 01:07

irishjewels, I always look in on dd (21 months) before I go to bed and I wake up a lot in the night but rather than go into her I switch the monitor up a bit and have a good listen to her breathing to reassure myself. Since she's been born I haven't slept straight through the night once I don't think. I wanted to say too though, you mentioned later in the thread that you're a single mum and I have to say that whenever I'm here alone, when dp is away, I'm ten times more worried about not hearing dd in the night.

tammybear · 14/07/2004 01:20

awww ij, i use to that, especially when i moed into my new house and dd was in a seperate room fromme. i now sleep through the night but sometime when its really quiet like bootsmonkey said, i wonder if dd is okay, and sometimes go and have a peek to see if shes okay. its quite alright for you to go to sleep and sleep throughout the night

nightowl · 14/07/2004 03:41

and i thought it was only me. they both still sleep in my room (cus we're soppy and we like it, ds's room never gets used!) im always up late, part of this being that i feel i should watch them. ds used to give me some scares when his asthma always started at around 2am, so now i am NEVER in bed before then. i check them both several times before i go to bed, in the night and if i wake up and cant hear gurgling or shuffling im out of bed like a shot to give dd a prod!

Ghosty · 14/07/2004 05:03

I always check them before I go to bed ... I tuck DS' duvet between the wall and the bed as he always loses it if it isn't and wakes up and I make sure that DD's dummy is somewhere where I can find it in the dark and she hasn't got her muzzy too close to her head.
And I do get up sometimes in the night to check DD ...not all the time anymore now though.

FairyMum · 14/07/2004 09:48

I checked breathing up to about 18 months. I was obsessed and lost so much sleep worrying about something happening to them in their sleep. I now check that their blankets haven't slipt off in their sleep. I will soon have a new baby, so then I will have 2 to check for slipped off blankets and 1 for breathing. Will I ever get a good nights sleep?

boudicca · 14/07/2004 11:34

I still check on my Dd3,and she's 15!!Like you IJ I feel guilty if I don't.

lucysmum · 14/07/2004 12:06

I always check both of them before I go to bed and if I wake up in the night I will go and check them. DD2 has a monitor with an alarm that buzzes if can't detect movement. One of my friend's little boy was a cot death just after his first birthday so I do worry about it.

bunny2 · 14/07/2004 12:27

before I go to bed and at least once in the night. Ds is 4. If I walk past his room wihtout checking him, I cant go back to sleep.

Original poster

irishjewels · 15/07/2004 02:43

thanx everyone, this thread has made lovely reading. Am just off to bed and I have every intention of sleeping all night (ps its midnight!) with just one ear open.

As for fairymums question - no i don't think any of us will ever sleep the way that we did "before children!" - but wouldn't change it for the world.

OP posts:

Original poster

irishjewels · 15/07/2004 02:50

lucysmum, ds had what they call a "failed cot death" at 5mths, i found him not breathing. Huge life changing drama ....... had the monitor afterwards but found that instead of lying awake listening to ds breathing i just lay awake listening to the beep beep of the monitor. And every so often they give a false alarm and it is the worst panic in the world. It was actually a relief to reach the day that i decided to stop using it. Is it because of your friends loss that you are using it?

OP posts:

moosh · 15/07/2004 15:40

We check both children baby of ds1 at4yrs and ds2 at 4 months a few times then we go to bed. As the baby is next to me I check him whenever I wake maybe twice a night ds1 I do check at the same time. But there ghave ben times when I check him before I go to bed and don't check him again till the morning. I am sure this will increase when ds2 goes into ds1's bedroom. God, my mum used to check on us when I was still at hoome and I left home at 21 and then returned after college at 23 till I was 25 and she would check on me during the night!!!

Tessiebear · 15/07/2004 15:47

A friend of mine had a brother in the 70's who died of cot death, so she always uses breathing monitors (quite cheap and can be placed under the sheet so they dont know they are there) - if there was a problem an alarm would sound. She uses these on her children until they are about 3 i think. It just gives her the piece of mind to sleep without checking

Hulababy · 15/07/2004 15:55

I always check on DD (2y 3m) before I go to bed. Dh does too. Just to give her a quick kiss and make sure she is okay and covered up. We don't get up in the night for her though unless she wakes us for some reason.

Slinky · 15/07/2004 16:38

I still look in on my kids before I go to bed - and they're 8, 6 and 4.5

Not sure why I check on DD2 though - you can hear her snoring as you go up the stairs

boudicca · 18/07/2004 10:47

Go to sleep,Mum
I won't stop breathing
suddenly in the night

Go to sleep,I won't
climb out of my cot and
tumble downstairs

Mum,I won't swallow
the pills the doctor gave you or
put hairpins in electric
sockets,just go to sleep

I won't cry
when you take me to school and leave me:
I'll be happy with other children
my own age

Sleep,Mum,sleep
I won't
fall in the pond,play with matches,
run under a lorry or even consider
sweets from strangers.

No,I won't
give you a lot of lip,
not like some.

I won't sniff glue,
Fail all my exams,Get myself/
My girlfriend pregnant.
I'll work hard and get a steady/
really worthwhile job.
I promise,go to sleep.

I'll never forget
to drop in/phone/write
and if
I need any milk,I'll yell

by Rosemary Norman

not all of these promises will be kept!

blusher · 18/07/2004 11:07

Always before I finally go to bed and if I have to get up in the night for whatever reason I can't settle back in bed unless I have checked them both. Ages... both 7... years not months!

wilbur · 18/07/2004 11:09

boudicca, that's so sweet! Be nice if it were true

I check on ds and dd before I go to bed - it's my favourite part of the day, when they're all asleep and gorgeous, and a good reminder why I had them on days when it's been a bit chaotic and stressful. I have just managed to wean myself off dd's breathing monitor pad (she's 14 months!) so I understand that desire to know they are safe and sound at all times.

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