8months of sleep hell

[polly12345]

Please help I can't go on anymore. I feel like I've read every post and every article on Internet, I've tried everyone's advise including a little CC and nothing works?
Is there ever a time when sleep can be a medical issue? Or that baby has something wrong with them?
Baby is 8months old. Formula fed and eating 3meals day including protein. In good, consistent routine with 2 naps day (3 hours total) and goes to bed at 7pm everyday. Falls asleep in cot with dummy, slumber buddy machine and comforter.
But since about 4 months old he has never slept. Wakes every 1-2 hours all night. Sometimes quick to settle back with dummy but other times can be up for hours, only sleeping in my arms .
Any suggestions or are all bases covered and I just need to accept this is him? I'm back to work now and feel ill with tiredness
Thanks in advance

On the wake ups where dummy won't do, have you tried giving baby a bottle to see if that settles him back to sleep?

Hi. I do dream feed at 10pm hoping to fill him up? On the nights when he won't settle with dummy I end up going down to get another bottle, sometimes he will take a couple of ounce then fall back asleep but other times it seems to make him worse?! He will back arching, pulling away etc and pony blank refuses bottle! Very odd!
A work colleague is suggesting cranial osteopathy? He was cesarian born? But straight forward

The best way to describe the wakings is if u imagine a toddler having a nightmare? his eyes are closed and he's screaming, clearly desperate to go back to sleep but just cant do it

Those sound like over tired symptoms. What's his daytime routine?

In order to help you cope with these wake ups, you could move furniture around in order to bring the cot into your room, next to the bed.

I would also educate up your efforts to get baby back to sleep on the wake ups that are prolonged. So allow for 5 minutes settling with the dummy and if not back to sleep within 5 minutes, get a bottle and give straight away and wind well afterwards, cuddling and swaying as you do so to calm baby down.

Any gross motor skills develop recently? Had sleep changed since he learnt new stuff, or stayed the same?

That should read: "accelerate your efforts to get baby back to sleep..." (not educate)

Ok thanks. So do you think it's quite normal? Family are making me worried saying at 8months old he should not be waking 1-2 hourly. Although I have read on hear it's a common complaint.
Routine-
06:30 wake and milk
07:30 breakfast. Porridge made with formula then nibble on banana and toast
09:00-10:30 NAP
11:00- Milk
12:00- lunch. jar of baby food then natural yogurt plus some finger foods
1:30-3- NAP
3-milk
5pm tea. Either mushed up what we are having or baby jar if not appropriate plus finger foods and yogurt.
6pm bath and bottle
6:30/6:45 Bed
I would say on average he drinks about 30oz formula/day including dream feed

Ps he is still in our room. Only have two bedrooms so can't move him in with older brother until he is sleeping

He is trying to crawl! Nearly there! (Dreading this as presumably he will be even more difficult to settle!) but this not sleeping has been going on for about 4/5months now

I wouldn't describe 1-2 hourly wake ups as normal if they've been going on for 4-5 months. Babies will have periods of time where they don't sleep well for discrete shorter periods of time - illness, teething, that kind of thing. Pulling to standing and starting to rock on all-fours also makes sleep go crap.

But if you have been having 1-2 hourly wake ups all night, every night, with never a block of sleep longer than 2h in 4 or 5 months, I think it's quite unhealthy for you and baby to have to cope with sleep that fractured for that long.

It would suggest something needs to change.

That's what I think too 😕 If I thought he was teething or poorly then I could understand, but no, it's basically been since 4 months he's woke up every 1-2 hours, maybe the very odd 3 hour but I mean very odd. He goes through spells where these wakes are quick to settle with dummy and then a few weeks where he will be difficult to settle and require me to pick him up etc. I've spoke to HV but nothing to suggest other than CC. I did try at little bit but he was just getting hysterical, and not acting like he was going to settle so I stopped

How about trying cosleeping, see if baby settles better when physically close to you?

The cot is against my bed Fate so I can lean and touch him. It wasn't planned like that but that's just how it fits in the room and we took the side off after I seen it suggested on here For some reason even that isn't enough for him and I'm going through a 2 week period again where he will only settle if I hold him, and as soon as I lay him back down he will wake maybe 5mins later hysterical again. That's when I tend to go get milk but don't think he's hungry? He maybe has a couple of ounce when I do that and still doesn't settle for long period.
He's about to crawl too so feeling really nervous as the side is going to have to go back on isn't it? Then maybe even my quick settling nights might be gone too

I've just replied to your post on another thread but one thing I noticed on here is that you said you tried a little CC.

The biggest thing I took away from using a sleep consultant was that you need to remain completely consistent in any sleep training you do. So if you do choose to go down that route, have a plan of exactly what you are going to do and go through with it. Any point at which you give in, baby learns that they need to cry for that long to get your attention so they will cry longer and harder next time.

I personally haven't done the crying part so I can only imagine how tough it is but keep the consistency in mind if you do try it. If you choose the gentler route, I'm sure you will get the same result, it will just take longer to get there

Hi Riddles Thankyou. I will have a read of your reply to my other post now. I don't think I'll be able to do the CC. I tried once going in at 2 minute increasing intervals but it seems to just make him worse and once we got to 10mims I just thought it's not for me.

There definitely is a solution for you that doesn't involve CC - most sleep consultants advise they can get babies sleeping without CC but he will cry and protest until he adjusts. Although I didn't have lots of tears when we sleep trained, we did have some protest when she realised that her sleeping was not negotiable and I was going to persevere longer than her.

Whatever technique you do use, you need to be consistent no matter how tired you are and you will get results (easier said than done but just keep end goal in sight).

I saw another poster link to blog posts on this site a couple of weeks back and they are really informative - they give a lot of info on science of sleep. Hopefully they can help you a bit.
childsleepscience.wordpress.com

Thanks riddles. I agree, I'm very inconsistent and the first part of the night I try to keep resettling him in his cot in his own room then after midnight I'm too tired and just let him back in co-sleeper. I actually don't have a problem with him sleeping in co-sleeper, but often it doesn't really help which is disappointing! Wish it was the magic answer to some sleep!
Last night was another shocker- bed at 7pm own room. Woke at 8 & resettled quickly then woke at 9 and would not resettle despite offering boob, rocking, cuddling etc. He finally gave in and settled in co-sleeper at 10:30pm then slept til 2 (which is actually amazing for him!!) but then was up 2-3:30 again and up for the day at 05:30
I'm at work today too. Just having a black coffee!!

I actually don't have a problem with him sleeping in co-sleeper, but often it doesn't really help which is disappointing!

It's not about it helping or not, it is about being consistant. Baby doesn't even have a consistant place/room they sleep in at night, never mind the inconsistency in what might happen from one wake up to the next.

Baby sleeping in the cosleeper or in their room needs consistsncy when you are trying to teach baby to sleep. You either need to embrace use of the cosleeper full-time (for now, to get better night routines in place) or use the cot in the nursery all night, every night.

The swapping cots half way through the night thing you are doing, it's really not a good idea in your situation. It's not a problem as an every now and again thing once a consistant routine of what a 'normal night' is like is well established. But if this is something that happens often then it will only hinder your progress.

You poor thing, that sounds so tough, especially with work. I would really struggle with work at the moment so I have no idea how you are coping (mine is currently regressing due to getting on all 4s or sitting up in her sleep).

If you don't want to go down the CC route, I personally would favour the co-sleeper as a regular sleep location until you have got the sleep sorted. Once he goes into your dark room to go to bed, that's where he stays until morning and aim to always get him to fall asleep in the co-sleeper no matter how long it takes. It also saves you going back and forth between 2 rooms in the night. Other option is you move into his room if there is space - I'm planning to do that with my daughter in the next couple of weeks after guests leave then move back into my own once she is settled.

There will initially be nights where you are up for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night trying to get him to sleep but if you consistently use the same technique and keep him in the co-sleeper, he will start to get the message that there is no alternative but to sleep at night time. Although I didn't get too many tears during sleep training, I did get the long wake ups in the night where she refused to go back to sleep and it is tough

I don't know enough about settling techniques for sleep training an older baby (shush/patting and my presence calms my one during regressions like the one we are going through) but I'm sure someone else will be able to advise you on that. Then set a time (6-7 hours) and do not offer anything other than your settling technique from the time you put him down until that timeframe has passed. Then offer one feed if needed and back to settling technique for any further wake ups.

Once you start sleep training, you will get to know the sounds of their cries so much better and you will know exactly when they need you and when to leave them. If my daughter wakes whinging, me going to her aggravates her whereas she can put herself back to sleep within 3 minutes (I can set a stopwatch to it!). If she wakes happy and chatting, nothing is going to get her back to sleep and she is ready to play. If she is crying, I go to her straight away and she calms and goes back to sleep.

It has to get worse before it gets better and I can only imagine how hard that will be for you given you are back at work but it is worth riding out the difficult nights for the end result. Good luck

Morning ladies Thankyou for your replies. The inconsistency makes total sense now you've pointed it out! I suppose I was just hoping if he went to bed in his own cot then eventually the night wakings might stop and then he would stay in there lol! But I will embrace the co-sleeper for now.
Thanks for the encouragement Riddles- you make me feel more confident I can sort things. I need to! Feel so tired driving back from work on motorway

Our dd woke up every 45 minutes - hour from months two to six and it nearly did me in. I really feel for you. The only thing that worked was cc, being really truly consistent and a united front. She got it within a week, learning to self settle and sleep through until 6.45. If you are wavering or inconsistent (in whatever method you decide to use) then your son will pick up on that and you'll lose confidence and momentum. If your child is fed, warm/cool and has a clean nappy he is only calling you for cuddles and it isn't doing him any good to be missing out on these nights sleep (let alone you poor parents who probably can't see straight).

We also paid for a 1.5 hour consultation with a sleep specialist who gave us a few simple rules to stick to which really helped when I was feeling unsure of what to do and getting stressed.

Hearing your child cry is always awful, it's not easy but it's an investment in his sleep. He can do this and you can too

Good luck xxx