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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

why i'm glad i didn't do CC, and gave up on the books...

33 replies

PregnantGrrrl · 24/03/2007 10:22

I thought that DS (9mths) would never sleep through. I tried The NCSS book, then you-know-who was purchased, but i couldn't follow it all- went against my instincts really. I got to the point where i was planning CC. marked it on the calendar. the date passed, i kept finding reasons to not do it that weekend, then the next one and so on.

But DS is doing it on his own. He had a knock back with a stomach bug, then a cold and 3 teeth at once, but he's getting there without crying or strict routines or books about what we should do with him. He's just 'ready'. I stopped thinking of it as a sleep problem, and started thinking of it as a little person, struggling to learn a 100 things a day, not understanding that we have work, or that we can't nap in the day, and just needing our love.

This isn't a rant against CC or any other method- i understand making those choices. I just wanted to say that if you feel there's no hope, and they'll never sleep, they may just get there on their own.

I am so glad i didn't have the guts to do CC, because we didn't need it in the end. There's hope for all you sleepy parents out there, there really is!

OP posts:

TrinityRhino · 24/03/2007 10:25

That is how I feel too
dd2 is 2 next month and had starting slleeping through all on her even though I hadn't changed anytrhing and was still sitting with her to go tosleep

All gone to shit this week as she has chiken pox and is feeling very poorly but I'm sure she will do it again

Spidermama · 24/03/2007 10:27

Mine all sleep through fine now and I've never done CC.

Tamdin · 24/03/2007 10:28

well said pg. Have read ncss and liked its gentle approach and have included few of its ideas but eveyhting you've said it soooooooooooooooooo right

berolina · 24/03/2007 10:33

great post pggrrl.
Sleep slowly started 'clicking' with ds when he was 9 or 10 months too - with setbacks, of course - and he did 'do it on his own'. Now at nearly 2, he's pretty reliable at sleeping through - just wish I could get his bedtime forward a bit

chirpygirl · 24/03/2007 11:01

Hear, hear pggirl!
I tentatively tried it one night, for about 20 minutes and decided to put it off a bit longer, and at 10-11 months she started sleeping through herself.

I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to have a 'good' baby who sleeps through and more people need to know that it WILL happen!

gingerninja · 24/03/2007 13:48

Gives me hope, many thanks

Hulababy · 24/03/2007 13:54

Definitely a good idea to go with yur instincts. Gla dto hear DS is getting there :

For a sligthly differet version though. I also wen with what felt right, thinking Dd would get the hang of the sleeping through thing. But have to say by the time she was a very verbal, uunderstandigng and mobile 20 month old - we desperately needed to resort to something. We did our version of CC - going in more frequently, etc. and for us this worked well and the sleeping was sorted within 3 days or so. Not looked back. But CC was very hard - at the age of 20 months I had to listen "mummy, I need you" type shouting rather than crying.

cruisemum1 · 25/03/2007 17:27

i keep toying wityh it. so happy to hear that it is not strictly necessary

cruisemum1 · 28/03/2007 09:41

bit worried as ds is gonna be looked after by my mum and she won't be able to deal with his inability to settle/stay asleep. yikes!

kiskidee · 28/03/2007 14:25

PregnantGrrl, are you DetentionGrrl? Great post and congratulations on your expectations.

Here is a summary of what someone else said and you said in a much simpler way.

Infants rarely have sleep problems, parents do..!
We suffer from false and unrealistic expectations concerning infants' sleep patterns.

and we confuse our own needs with that of their infants ?best?needs.

We believe that the only good sleep is an uninterrupted one and that infant sleep behavior correlates with good moral character, and general future social skills and competencies.

So infants and parents become adversaries as regards getting sleep.

AxelF · 29/03/2007 14:15

I loved this thread and sent it to my dh too as we are both feeling the strain of too many sleepless nights.

Original poster

PregnantGrrrl · 29/03/2007 18:22

yes, i am DetentionGrrrl.

Sleepless night last night...never mind...tonight's another night!

OP posts:

cruisemum1 · 29/03/2007 21:03

pregnantgrrl - are you pregnant???! . If so congrats!!!

morningpaper · 29/03/2007 21:05

Hear hear OP

So many people say "She needs to learn to sleep by herself!"

but I really believe this is something they GROW into, not learn

GibbonInARibbon · 29/03/2007 21:12

What a lovely OP

am beaming here for you

Original poster

PregnantGrrrl · 30/03/2007 06:55

yes i am pregnant- 11wks!

DS slept badly again last night, but then the 3 teeth that are coming through together seem to be making a bid for freedom again. Poor thing!

OP posts:

loadsanappies · 03/04/2007 14:37

I'm coming to this late in the day, I know!
But was just reading through for some tips (currently struggling to get my twins to nap anywhere but in their car-seats, which they are fast outgrowing).

I understand all of the above and to be honest, think that all mums deserve government-sponsored cake deliveries and massages on the NHS. Having now done the job for 5 months I can't believe I was such a cow to my own mum when I was 14!

As regards routines/CC etc. I think everyone should do or not do what feels right for them. But (you knew that was coming) I do get a bit fed up with the idea that we should all sacrifice everything, including our sanity, for our new off spring. Whilst its all very well to say that "Infants rarely have sleep problems, parents do..!" and "we confuse our own needs with that of their infants ?best?needs", I do think it's still ok for parents to have needs, and yes, to get them met sometimes too. Whilst leaving a baby to cry might not be desirable, sometimes, when you are on your 3rd sleepless night in a row, feel you have nothing left to give and could "snap" at any moment, it is the best thing to do all round. Make sure he is clean, fed and winded & walk away, for the sake of your sanity & his well-being.

Perhaps this makes me terribly old fashioned but I'm afraid I believe my twins are part of our family, not its sole focus.

Sorry if this sounds like a rant - isn't meant to be.

claireybee · 03/04/2007 21:00

I agree with the OP. My 10 month old had never slept through, although from approx 2 months old she has gone down fine (she slept on my chest every night before that then one night just rolled off me and went to sleep next to me-went in her cot the next night and never looked back). i didnt want to force the issue and as i knew she was hungry was not going to refuse to feed her or replace feeds with water or any other such rubbish. 2 weeks ago LO was usually waking twice a night, for the past week she has slept from approx 7.30 until at 6.30, 5.45, 7.30, 7.40, 4.45(slight blip there), 8.00 and 8.30. Even better when she has woken early i've just given her a bottle and she has gone straight back down. All this without me doing anything different or trying to "train" her. LO's will do it when they are ready. You can try to help them along, but i don't believe CC etc is the way to do that.

ELF1981 · 03/04/2007 21:07

I dont want to hijack, but I do have a question.
DD is 18months old, and still b/feed at night time to go to sleep. She drops off within about 20 mins.
DH wants to try to move away from the b/feeding, but if we have ever tried to put her into her cot wide awake she screams like a banshee. Any suggestions from those who sound like you have been through it!

pooka · 03/04/2007 21:08

My dd didn't sleep through until 11 months ish, when it just seemed to click with her. DS, different baby, was nearer 6 months.

I just wish wish wish I hadn't been so hung up on getting her sleeping through, like it was the holy grail. Being envious of other people. thinking I was doing something wrong. Basically obsessing about it.

If we have another I hope that I can repeat what we did with ds, which was to let him lead the way. (although will add that once I stopped night feeding dh took over any night wakings - what a star).

beansprout · 03/04/2007 21:09

I'm really glad it worked for you. I'm just so sorry I didn't read your OP before I tried CC myself.

pooka · 03/04/2007 21:12

Hmm Elf1981. Does your dh ever put her to bed? If he does, how does she drop off with him?
It might be worth maybe getting him to do bedtime for a week or so. What dh and I do now is one night he puts dd to bed and I put ds to bed and the next night vice versa. But then both of mine stopped feeding (their choice) at around 13/14 months so don't have much experience at this age I'm afraid.

Malaleche · 03/04/2007 21:15

ELF - try feeding her in another room after a story and carrying her through half awake and putting her in her cot. If this works, eventually you can drop the last feed of the day and go straight from story to bed. Good luck.

ELF1981 · 03/04/2007 21:17

He gets her to sleep when I am at college two nights a week but this is by putting her in the pram with a bottle and rocking her to sleep. But when I get home to carry her upstairs she mostly wakes up, cries and I feed her before putting her in the cot.

fannyannie · 03/04/2007 21:17

there was no WAY we could have waited for DS1 to 'get there' on his own - he was waking hourly (at least) for feeds that lasted up to 1hr, this was every single night from birth, he wouldn't go to sleep unless attached to the breast and once there couldn't be moved (if we tried to put him down, or I tried to move out of the bed from lying next to him he would wake up straight away and scream the house down - only pacified by being allowed to suck on the breast again). During the day it was the same thing - his naps were taken in my arms - or in the pushchair if the weather was good enough to take him out. He just didn't know how to fall asleep on his own. If it had only been 2 or, even 3 times a night we would have left him - but it was 8 or 9 times (minimum) every night and he was a miserable tired baby as a result.

Ds2 was a different matter - he slept through without from 3 weeks all on his own !

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