Daytime settling with 2 kids

[Pinkmangobanana]

Hi everyone - I could really do with some advice on daytime nap settling. I have a DS (4yrs) and a DD (16 weeks). My DD only takes very short naps at the moment in the day and each one becomes an absolute nightmare to achieve especially when trying to look after a noisy son. I have had some luck managing to settle her in the cot but this can take an hour of shh-ing and stroking and doesn’t always work and she fights this and sometime can cry, which I don’t think is fair at this age, so I cuddle her and then start again. It can get very fraught and I simply can’t manage with the two children at once especially as she needs about 4-5 naps as day as they are only very short at the moment (20- 40min). I’ve tried sleep windows’ of an hour to two and a half hours and none work and watched for sleepy cues like a hawk. People have told me to use a sling, which works, but Im worried about making ‘bad’ sleep associations. I also take her for pram rides to sleep so I can take DS out and about. She is starting to settle in the evening in her cot with some stroking and shh-ing. I’ve tried a dummy which she used to like a bit but she spits it out. Is it too late to start swaddling? Can anyone offer me any advice? I don’t want to spoil her night time sleep habits which at the moment seem quite good (so grateful) as I have heard her resettle at 5am sometimes (but this may change with the 4 month regressions!) Love to all xxxx

I should add that as we progress through walking about, dummy, rocking etc most naptimes, after trying to settle her, she becomes really upset screaming and arching her back until nothing works and this is very upsetting for all!

I wouldn't swaddle. In the US they say starting swaddling at a later age is a sids risk.

My dc2 took all his naps in the pushchair (5 mins back and forth in the hallway and he slept for 2hrs). He settled fine in cot at bedtime and he switched to cot naps fine at about 9 months.

I'm starting to already dread the next naptime I literally feel sick knowing the screaming and writhing that will be coming and trying to cope with my 4yr old

Thanks so much this is a very useful response - swaddling is out then! Thankyou so much xxxx

I don't know if you found the same with your eldest but I found with all my kids that naps became a whole lot easier when they were mobile AND only had one a day. Even my dc1 who is was a terrible sleeper (despite me desperately following all the good sleep rules) eventually ended up taking a good two hour nap after lunch in her cot eventually. So I'd just do what works until then.

Yes it's too late to start swaddling - If you haven't started swaddling by 3 months it becomes a SIDS risk to start late.

I would suggest

• bouncy chair
• dummy
• 90 minute awake time regardless of tired signs. If tired signs are seen earlier though, into bouncer earlier. If no tired signs, use 90m as your limit.

Regarding the bouncer, make sure baby has been fed and well winded. Into bouncer. Bouncer at your feet as you sit on sofa. With your feet keep a rhythmic bounce going, not too fast. Be completely relentless about it. Reinsert dummy any time needed, then just... Keep. On. Going. None stop, not giving up, just keep going and going until baby is asleep.

Since this is done in the living room and only involves your feet. It frees up your hands to play with older child, or cuddle together on sofa and watch tv, or chat, or whatever - all while simultaneously also settlibg baby to sleep.

Once asleep, 30-45 min naps are fine and to be expected. The more over tired baby is the longer it takes to get to sleep, so awake time wants to be in the 60-90m range. Never more than 90m.

I would keep naps in the bouncer until they start extending past an hour and a half in length, then move to cot naps. That happens somewhere around 6 months usually.

Mine would never sleep in the bouncer... too much going on. For my second I either used pram or buggy at first. I agree it's awful when they need so many naps. A bit later, about 3-4m, I found I could feed to sleep and pop in cot so did this if at home. I still do this now at 9m but it's easier as he only has two naps. Don't worry about bad habits, as above it all changes soon enough!

Thx FATEdestiny that sounds like a great idea as dd loves movement; I will try!!!!! Thx keepitgoing I do sometimes feed to sleep although try to limit this again. lovely replies and help - thankyou!