How to persuade baby to take a dummy

[Daphnedown]

How the hell can I convince my 3 month old to take a dummy? He loves to suck (on the breast) and I'm convinced that a dummy would help him sleep somewhere other than on me. But whenever I offer it to him, he makes a face and out it pops! He doesn't seem to know how to keep it in his mouth.

I've tried different brands but no luck so far.

Any tips?

Some just don't want a dummy. My two didn't. I tried at that age and then later ages but they would shoot it out in seeming disgust.
I think they could tell the difference. My friends baby loved his dummy though.

Not much help, sorry.

The nurses in NICU showed me how to tap the back of the dummy to get ds to suck it. For some reason it triggers the sucking reflex and keeps it in.

Having said that, I think a three month old might be old enough to show a preference and may never take one.

Try a few different types. Ds only like MAM 0-2 month size for ages!!

He may not want it. Please don't give him a dummy. My little boy is 8 months and we have never given him a dummy. It just seems to add another thing in for them to cry for and it seems it's just a way to shut them up (sorry I know I sound so anti dummy and "perfect") I'm not but think about when he's older. Everyone will be able to see his lovely smile without a plug in his mouth and teeth will have the best possible start (I know you can get orthopaedic ones but I don't think they really make a difference) it seems another expense also if you have to keep forking out for dummy's and then you have a battle when you actually want to take it off him. Sorry I know I'll get back lash for this but it's definitely better not to get him used to it x

Trouble is, if they don't have a dummy you risk them sucking their thumb. This is what my older ds does and it's really affecting his teeth

Its so frustrating isnt it Daphne! I remember well my boy only settling on me, and my nipple was his source of comfort. It does pass eventually though. He hated ALL dummies, i found.

Persevere with different types of soothers if you can, in different sizes too. Once you've exhausted all types and options then you know for sure he won't have them and there's nothing more to be done about it.

I know you're trying to be helpful BringmeTea but, you're not being helpful! . It seems op is trying to get through the difficulties of 'now'. A future hypothetical scenario doesn't have anything to do with her struggles of 'now'. And I suppose if we're going down that route then you could easily just as well say that her toddler gives up the dummy really easily, or that toddler only knows to have it when its nap time routine and so on.

Firstly, understanding the science helps. You have two conflicting reflex reactions. The sucking reflex (helps with nourishment and a calm, soothed feeling) and the tongue-thrust reflex (protects a newborn from choking by having a non-intellectual reflex to push items forward that are placed on the tongue)

The tongue thrust reflex is what you are working against. This reflex naturally reduces of its own accord (losing this reflex is a pre-requisite to weaning) and some have stronger reflex reactions than others.

You can train baby out of the tongue thrust reflex though, very early. If you think about it, you must be able to because bottle feeding requires overcoming this reflex.

Some tips:

• be persistent! You can get baby to 'get' how a dummy works. Some take to it naturally and immediately. Others take a lot of persistence. It's worth it. But its very easy to give up. It took me 7 weeks of daily, persistant effort to get one of my children to accept the dummy. My others immediately accepted it.

• Try different dummies. Mine favour cherry teat dummies, they have larger and more bulbous teats. Other people swear by MAM dummies

• try at different times/states. If baby fights naps, then isnt a good time to work on getting the dummy accepted. Try when calm and not tired. Likewise try when not hungry, or see if the suck reflex helps when hungry. Try stealth swaps at the end of a breastfeed - nipple out, dummy straight in. Try a cradle rock with dummy. Try bouncy chair bouncing with dummy.

• Tapping on the outside of the dummy triggers the suck reflex. Likewise techniques used to help latch onto a nipple - tickling cheek so face turns to take the dummy. Aiming the test upwards towards the rod of the mouth. Touching the tongue may trigger the tongue thrust reflex and gagging, so aim backwards and upwards.

• if suck reflex isn't engaged, but tongue thrust reflex isn't spitting it out, dummy may well just sit limply in mouth. You may need to gentle hold dummy in place for baby until sucking reflex kicks in. If holding and tapping dummy isn't working, removing and 'relatching' the dummy may help.

• get gravity to help you. If baby's head is facing upwards and baby is flat, gravity keeps the dummy in place better

Try different shapes, brands and plastics. Mine only liked the latex cherry teat ones in the first few months and spat out the silicone ones. Silicone orthodontic teat is supposed to be better though, especially when they grow teeth.

Tapping the dummy or just holding it in place as they get sleepy but can take some persevering. I was dead set against dummies but then read about the protective effect in terms of SIDS and how great they can be as an aid to independent sleep and decided to use one. DS is now 17 months and still has his dummy but only at night (hasn't had it in the day for months) and the vast majority of friends who use dummies don't let their babies have them during the day. As a PP has said, it's far easier to remove a dummy than a thumb! Good luck!

We use MAM dummies and have done for the past 8 years ... We have a disabled DS who still loves his Obbie !!!!
He refused a dummy but we tapped the end of it gently and eventually he took it!!!
Our son didn't have a suck, swallow breathe reflex! The dummy helped. He is tube fed !
Before the judges come out... He can't eat or do much ... His comfort is the dummy ... He'll decide when he doesn't need it!
... And other 2dc were breastfed and didn't have a dummy!!!
Good luck !

It just seems to add another thing in for them to cry for...

A dummy stops baby needing to cry or be upset.

it's just a way to shut them up...

It's a way to stop baby crying and being upset. Being contented and calm is generally thought of as more preferable than being distressed and crying.

sorry I know I sound so anti dummy and "perfect"

Anti-dummy, yes. Far, far from perfect

Everyone will be able to see his lovely smile...

When baby has just gone to sleep? All calm, quiet and contented. Many more smiles from a baby who's woken, well rested from a sleep without any crying. That is when a dumny dummy isn't needed.

Thanks all. I think persistence is the key. Might have another go with some different brands too.

Say what you like but my baby is very contented thank you. I know someone who's baby was crying and they kept ramming a dummy back in his mouth. Turns out he had poo'd it had leaked and he was unhappy about it. Yet shoving the dummy in didn't solve the problem. If babies were meant to have dummies they would be born with one!
I don't think it's necessary, my son has never suffered for not having one. They look awful I hate seeing 2 year old with that thing attached to their face!
I'm not going to get nasty unlike one poster who seems to have an answer for everything but at least my child has a lovely happy smile for everyone to see (because let's face it, it's not just for bedtime) and will have nice teeth. Plus I'm happy to give him what he needs when he needs it, rather than ramming something in his gob x

I gave you the benefit of the doubt before but now you sound like a sanctimonious arse.

Least I'm not insulting strangers in the internet. I don't need approval from anybody. I was just offering my take on it. Clearly my son has such a bad mother and father because we won't give him a dummy... such a shame for him 😕

So bringme because you know a couple who didn't change their baby and instead kept trying to give it a dummy, you think that's what they're for?
Yep, as above, far from sounding perfect.

Babies weren't born with nappies, clothes, bottles, cribs or anything else either...so what does not being born with a dummy have to do with anything? Doesn't really make much sense...

My child also has a lovely happy smile. And uses a dummy.
And my own teeth are perfectly straight, so much so I have since about age 10, been getting compliments from random strangers about how nice my teeth are. Despite the fact my mum gave me a dummy.

A dummy is not to replace needs like feeding, changing, clothing, keeping warm etc. It's just like a comforter. Even when my baby was in SCBU one really lovely nurse would put on a glove to let my daughter comfort suck on her little finger (no different to latex dummy). I'm sure SCBU weren't neglecting my child, they were making sure her needs were met, including her wanting to comfort suck.
Every kid is different, some want that, some don't.

Foniks that's a much better way of putting it. I know I'm not perfect... what parent is? How do they cope in poverty ridden country's without this stuff? Just offering the flip side. Personal preference I hate seeing babies and children with one. Even I had one as a baby but I obviously didn't have a choice which is fine because that was my mothers choice. I respect people's right to use one but would like my opinion for not using one be fought in the same manner. That's enough controversy for me today, hope you get what you need OP x

Sanctimonious arse who has another thread going asking for help that would be solved if baby had a dummy

Anyhoo...

It would not be solved if he had a dummy... to me it just masks a problem. He only cries when he actually needs something. I.e. Hungry, cold, nappy etc. Don't you need to get back to ramming a dummy in your child's mouth? Somewhere better to be...

BringMeTea123 - with all due respect, not at 8 months. I'm sorry, but you really don't have a clue.

In the case of your baby, she just wants an independant way to get back to sleep that isn't feeding.

BringmeTea - if you hate dummies then no wonder you take the stance you have. Op needs a dummy for her baby and it's not out of neglect. You're not offering the flip side - you're projecting. Which isn't helpful.

Most can still afford a dummy, and ones who can't often just let the baby suck on the mothers finger (much like the nurse in SCBU did for my baby)
And we've also got lots of things that people living in poverty can't afford, like more than just a basic crib or even just a box or drawer, bottle warmers, disposable nappies, blenders for weaning/baby puree, all sorts really... that doesn't mean we should all get rid of them or that they're not very useful.

I get that lots of people love to judge other parents. Parents are often worse for it for some reason. But the dummy thing has always been one of the silliest to me, from years before I even thought I'd have children. It's a dummy. It's a bit of plastic. There are much more worthwhile things to "hate seeing" a parent do, especially when it's just to comfort their baby. I guarantee you, whatever choices you make with raising your child, there will be a bunch of people judging you, literally anything you do... so don't complain about it too much when you overhear it, because you are judging others on something so trivial. And thinking you sound perfect when doing it! And trust me, nobody needs to fight for people who don't want to use a dummy, because it's something that's so often talked about already. Often wjen trying to make other parents see how "wrong" they are for using one.

Seriously, unless somebody is actually harming their baby, you should just keep comments like this to yourself. You obviously haven't got it right yet, so are in no place to be saying what others should or shouldn't be doing because of how much you hate something. And honestly, yes, sometimes all a baby wants is a bit of comfort, not always just to be fed or changed, just like adults really, so if people want to let their baby have that comfort they're craving, I'm not seeing the issue?

I'm actually quite offended... how can you say I don't have a clue?

My son is happy, content, gaining weight, meeting his milestones. He's fed, clean, dry, clothed, loved and cared for... if that's not having a clue and not good parenting I don't know what is! I must be doing at least something right for him to be happy. I said that to my partners dad this weekend that I must be doing something right after he said "I've never know a child so happy".

"She" if you read the post properly you would know it's a boy! I just really don't think a dummy solves problems. He is quite happy to send himself to sleep as he goes to bed between 7.30 and 8pm sometimes he's not asleep when I put him down but no more than 15 minutes and he's asleep by himself.

I'm quite hurt that you would say I don't have a clue about my own baby 😕

I found dummy was obstructive to good sleep as DD woke whenever it fell out of her mouth so had to keep going in to put it back in her mouth! Took it away cold turkey on night #1 of sleep training (four months) and she learned to suck her thumb instead and started sleeping through. I'm not sure I would give dummy to any future babies of mine at all as I found all things designed to help sleep (dummies, mobiles, music etc) were just distractions. But as everyone will tell you ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT xx

I've never claimed to be perfect and like I have said it's personal choice. I'm not here to argue, as long as our children are fed and are happy that's all that matters right? My son likes to fall asleep with a Muslin cloth so does make me in the wrong because I let him have one of those? There will always be opinions but maybe we should just leave it as something we can't agree on and walk away now. It's not fair on this posters post to be fighting like this over something as silly as a dummy....