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Original poster

Taking dummy away at 20 months and sleep

23 replies

SnowWhite26 · 02/07/2017 06:07

Hi.
My lo is 20 months and sleeps through from about put 6.30 till about 6ish,somestimes a bit earlier sometimes later. Generally she chats for a bit then gets cross coz shes chucked dummy out of the cot. I go in give it bk and shes ok till 6.30-7 but sometimes she just keeps chucking it. She sometimes wakes up and has lost it in the night. She only has it for sleep and long car journeys. I want to get rid of it particularly now as she has also started chewing it (i dunno if this is a teething thing) i just dont want her to chew it off and choke lol. I was going to wait and take it away in a few months when she understands as seems mean. Has anyone had any experience of taking dummy away at 20 months? Any advice and tips?Did it it affect sleeping through as I dont wana change that! Thankyou :) xx

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Henrythehoover · 02/07/2017 06:10

Hi I took them away at 12 months and they didn't seem to bothered. The first night was a bit rough but they where fine after that.

Nicpem1982 · 02/07/2017 06:13

We took ours at 15 months (the elves took it for the babies and left dd chocolate coins)

She didnt mind although the first night was hard going once she realised in the morning the dummy had gone she realised she couldn't have it back.

Our local farm lets little ones donate dummy's for the piglets and they gets a certificate and sticker also our local fairy walk has a dummy tree

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 02/07/2017 06:20

Thanks for ur reply. id they understand at this age? About fairy and having choc as a reward? She is very attached. When we are getting her ready for bed she is desperate for it.I tried taking it for a nap time and just gave her, her bunny comfort toy and she got so upset she couldn't understand.

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Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 02/07/2017 06:22

I guesd its also when she stirs in her sleep shes uses it to go back to deep sleep again.

OP posts:

SorrelSoup · 02/07/2017 06:28

You just have to go through it. They get over it in a few days and forget.

SorrelSoup · 02/07/2017 06:30

Do she know any new babies? We have always said their dummies are going to the new baby and they seem to like that as they feel grown up and lime to be helpful.

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 02/07/2017 06:33

Yeah a few of my friends have small babies. I feel liks she would give it to them but being so young she wouldn't really remember that at bedtime lol. I guess maybe i just have to take the plunge. I wouldn't be so keen to so soon if she hadnt started chewing them. I have aso heard about ppl chopping the tops of the teats of dummys x

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SorrelSoup · 02/07/2017 06:37

Yes they're not so keen to be helpful at bedtime but it's literally a few days and they get over it. She's nearly 2 so a great time to get rid of it. I cut the top of for my dd who was welded to her dummy but she just said , "broken"!!! With dd it might have been 3-5 days but she got over it. Her teeth were being affected so it had to go.

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 02/07/2017 06:43

I guess I just need reassurance that its the right age. We are lucky coz she is fine without it in the day. She has a bunny comfort toy and a sleeping tot the bunny attaches to but she pulls dummy of that now and isnt bothered by the sleepytot so maybe ill get rid of both and she can just have bunny comforter. I no i just need to do it shes just such a good sleeper for all our sakes i dont want to be the one who stops this lol x

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Footle · 02/07/2017 07:23

A good night's sleep takes priority over almost anything. I'd leave it for a few months.

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 02/07/2017 07:30

I no footle at its just shes chewing holes in it. Lol

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Footle · 02/07/2017 09:42

Doesn't anyone make a chew-proof dummy?

FATEdestiny · 02/07/2017 09:54

Old dummies get holes in even if not chewed. Just age and latex deteriation. I can't see this as a reason to get rid of dummies. Just check the state of the teat regularly and replace any showing signs of wear and tear. I would replace a dummy every 6 months or so. Or when the teat goes opaque and cloudy.

Give up dummies if you want to. But them being chewed is a non-reason in my opinion. It would take significant and prolonged chewing to chew off the teat of a non-worn dummy in one go.

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 02/07/2017 10:42

I just put her for a nap and she got so upset after 15 minutes crying hysterically i gave it back. She fell asleep instantly. It just seemed so mean :( xx

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FATEdestiny · 02/07/2017 10:55

Are you looking for people to validate that she can keep the dummy until older?

Brcause I can do that. I wouldn't consider taking baby's primary source of slerp comfort away until it's no longer needed. Which has been around aged 3-5 in my experience. Then the comfort need not be denied or replaced, it's just grown out of and no longer needed.

I restrict dummy use to in-cot only by 12 months old though - a concession towards the fact that the psychological need for comfort to get to sleep in the pre-schooler must be balanced against the physical need for healthy teeth and speech development.

However... I didn't go straight in with the "don't do it, give baby the dummy back" post because you seem to want support to stop using the dummy. So it wasn't helpful to post otherwise.

I would think it a mean thing to do with my 2y9m old. Its not something I would consider even for a millisecond just yet. I love the fact that "let's go and find your dummy" gets her running upstairs to bed. And that she sleeps so damn well and contented.

That's just me though. Really unsure if such views are welcome/unwelcome, helpful or unhelpful on your thread.

FATEdestiny · 02/07/2017 11:05

... I might add (in relation to your op) that at 20 months I wouod not be fetching dummies or putting them in for toddler at night. At all. In fact i wouldn't be doing that past 12 months old.

We sewed a ribbon into the chest of out sleeping bags, press stud at the end to perminantly attach dummy to.

Easy to locate dummy then, even with eyes closed and even for little toddler fingers. Also means no dummy throwing and no lost dummy.

There's a strangulation risk. So keep the ribbon short (we did the length such that it would reach baby's ear). Best in kind the risk though. It's all a big set of juggling risk verses convenience for baby sleep.

FATEdestiny · 02/07/2017 11:07

Best to consider the risk though...

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 02/07/2017 11:35

Thanks for your help fate :) it was horrible hearing her sobbing. She only has it at night and sometimes in the car if i need her to sleep on the way somewhere. She will sleep in car without it. She call it 'pip pip' and its attached to a sleepytot bunny Although recently she takes it off when shes falling asleep. I put it back on again before i go to bed so she can find it throughout the night. She wakes at sixish and chats away then sometimes pops dummy back in and snoozes till 7.Occassionally she shouts for me coz the dummy has fallen outbas she detachs it from the sleepytot she also has a pink bunny cuddly. Shes a great sleeper. I just got paranoid she would chew the dummy abd choke as when shes teething she does chew sometimes. Her speech eech is not affected i dont think as shes constantly talking and doesnt ask for dummy at all apart from at sleep time. I just hope it wont push her teeth funny,but do u reakon the limited amount of time she has the dunny means she will be ok? I dunno why im worried all of a sudden. I always thought when shes 2-3 ill do it when she understands properly. I work in childcare and there is a child whos nearly 3 with a dummy alot and she will not give it up without a fight and her speech is awful. Maybe thats made my paranoia worse lol.Have all ur children had dummys abd ok teeth and speech lol Thanks fate xx

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Footle · 02/07/2017 11:40

She's your little girl. Taking her dummy away at the moment feels wrong to both of you, so don't do it. Kids grow up - they stop being babies when they're ready. Yours will too!

SorrelSoup · 02/07/2017 12:04

You will be able to see if her teeth are being pulled forward.

FATEdestiny · 02/07/2017 12:21

do u reakon...

The point here is that there will always be different opinions. This is not a situation with a black and white "right answer" and "wrong answer".

Even the researcher community disagree on dummies.

regular dummy use lowers SIDS risk in babies
regular dummy use can affect teeth shape
Research shows preschool children don't have the mental/emotional capacity to sooth without external factors to help them (dummy is one of which)
research shows prolonged dummy use affects speech
common sense would suggest that unnecessary distress in a child is best avoided if possible and that feeling comforted and secure is best
common sense would also say a child who cannot even play without a dummy in their mouth lacks security and comfort in some way.

I guess the point I'm trying to say is - have faith in your own opinions.

You need to balance your child a needs, and the pros and cons of continuing dummy use. Then have the confidence in your decision so stop questioning things.

Yes, my children (aged 12, 11, 7 and 2) all have very healthy teeth and speech and all used a dummy. But that's no guarantee for your child. You need to "own" your decision.

I think frequency of dummy use is a greater significant factor in terms of speech and teeth development. I doubt anyone outside of our family even knows my toddler has a dumny still. It's never seen outside of her cot and so mine has seen her with a dummy since she turned 1, unless they have seen her asleep in the cot.

llhj · 02/07/2017 15:49

If you're going down route of fairies or new baby present etc, they definitely need to be 2 plus to get that and rationalise it.

Original poster

SnowWhite26 · 02/07/2017 18:51

Thanks everyone. I think I will leave it a bit. It was really good to have some other peoples thoughts gts and help. Xx

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