Good sleeper/bad sleeper

[user1488794856]

So dh and I are planning on trying for another baby pretty soon, DD is nearly 5 months and we want them close in age.

DD has never slept through the night, and tbh doesn't look like she will be any time soon.

She is a crap napper, so has to be held for all naps otherwise they will only last 30 mins, meaning if I'm at home we are stuck on the sofa, and if we are out I have to wear her in a sling. She will not sleep in her pram. Napwise I have not been able to take a nap, or be away from her at all since she was born so do all house work etc when she is asleep at night.

She goes to sleep pretty easily at around 7, but will wake up at least twice for a dummy and once for a feed throughout the night. She will then without fail wake at 530am ready for the day.

DD is our first baby, and generally we are quite "go with the flow" type people.
I told my friend about her sleeping pattern and she was quite surprised as she didn't think our DD"was as bad as that"
The comment itself doesn't offend me, even though we are 5 months in I k ow she is just a baby so I just get on with it, but oh and I often comment to each other that we hope our next one is as easy as her, I suppose because she isn't much of a crier

I guess my point is here...I worry alot about having a ";hard"baby next, but in your opinion, does it sound like I am already dealing with a tricky baby and that I should essentially stop worrying as we are coping fine?

Sorry that's a bit waffly...I hope it makes sense!

You don't need to worry

A good 80% of how "easy" or "hard" a baby is comes down to parental perception, not the actual child.

The more children you have...

• the more you adjust your expectations
• the more you adjust life according to family needs (like doing housework when baby is awake and resting when baby sleeps).
• the more you develop coping strategies to make life easier (like accepting 30m naps in the bouncer as completely normal at this age)
• the more you see the bigger picture and wider view (like realising playgroup and baby classes are much better with a toddler, than rushing to fit naps in around the lengthy nap schedules of the under 12 month old - so just don't waste your energy)
• the more you recognise sleep progress in the context of the whole of the preschool years (so recognise that sleep like yours at 5 months is not "crap")...
• ... which itself leads to more positive language and thought around baby sleep. So the same child you might have though was "hard work" as a FTM becomes an "easy delight" with the benefit of experience and realistic expectations.

So in short, you are viewing your potential 2nd child through the eyes of a first time mum. Once your a second time mum, your perception changes. A third time mum often thinks she has it sorted, then gets thrown curveball with DC3. Then DC4 and so on....

It's parental perception that most affects the concept of baby sleep being easy or hard.