Worried about creating bad nap habits

[mumofzach]

My 5 month old DS and I have always struggled with his naps. He has never been a sleepy baby, even as a newborn.

We have been through some very hard times with sleep like a lot of other parents!

I've just got to a stage where I can now get him to nap. Mostly it's 30 mins at a time but sometimes I can get an hour or more out of him if I'm lucky.

The potential problem is that for naps I've only been able to get him to sleep by popping in my bed and lying next to him or having him sleep on my lap on the sofa.

It's been working brilliantly and there are rarely any tears or battling like there was before.

I think I'm just worried that by getting him to sleep this way I might be creating problems for the future. Should I be trying to get him to sleep in his cot yet?

It's so strange as on a night time he tends to sleep very well but daytime sleep has been such a nightmare for us.

I guess I'm just after some reassurance that I'm not creating a rod for my own back or some advice on how to stop this from happening!

No, don't worry. Carry on as you are.
I let mine nap mainly on me or in bed as you describe. They did some naps in the pram too. When they got older they napped anywhere, for a long time (long naps and until they were quite old) no problem.

I think the best thing you can do is what you are doing, encouraging him to have a good sleep and making life as easy as possible for yourself!

Don't waste days/weeks trying to get him to nap in the cot-you'll just stress yourself out and end up tied to the house. At least if he sleeps on you, you can let him nap while you're out too. Enjoy the lovely cuddles, it doesn't last forever.

Don't worry about it! I drove myself crazy with DD1 as she was having 5 x 30 min naps a day at that age and I insisted on putting her in the cot for at least one of them so as not to create a rod for my own back. DD2 is 6 months and also a cat napper and has nearly every nap in the sling. Second time round I've been more confident just to go with the easy route and ignore the books!

Until the baby learns to sleep for longer (it's developmental and apparently happens at some point after 6 months) I would just go for a quick and easy win, concentrating instead on frequent naps like you have been doing. DD1 suddenly started sleeping for longer at 8 months and I started putting her in the cot. She's 2 now and naps in the cot for 2 hours after lunch with zero issues.

Thanks to both of you for your lovely replies, I do feel better now.

I really enjoy our little nap times together as he isn't a very cuddly baby when he is awake and always wants to be moving. I was just worried that I was going to have trouble with him napping on his own in the future.

Honestly just carry on! If your baby naps in the day he's more likely to sleep better at night.

My DS is now 10 months - until the last couple of months all naps were cuddles or in his pram. Now I can put him down (asleep) no problem, though he does need resettling after 45 mins.

Enjoy the cuddles!

The thing is, you have a problem now. You've found a way to solve it. Unless anyone can tell you another way to solve the problem you have now that will definitely be easier than solving the hypothetical problem you might have later (which they can't), you might as well just enjoy the current solution.

I don't really get why people think the 'later problem' will be harder to deal with than the 'now problem'. Personally, I enjoyed the early months, getting used to my new baby, creating lots of cosy bad habits. There are some things we're having to tackle now (at ten months) but we're reasonably well rested, I'm more confident, it isn't all new, and she's older and seems a lot less fragile. I'm better equipped for dealing with things now. I may have made a rod for my own back but for a while that rod was supporting me, not beating me! I don't think fighting with a younger baby would have been in any way easier than gently tackling a ten month old, whilst generally feeling happy and not exhausted!

Agatha, I completely agree about worrying about a potential problem than may not even arise.
I don't think it's bad habits you're creating letting your baby sleep on you though. If anything it's a good habit - your baby is associating sleep with something lovely and comforting which can only be a good thing in the long term.

Like pp states, the longer naps and being put down is developmental.
I fed mine to sleep and then they just got to an age where could be put down and when they went to one nap slept for 2/3 hours. Or fell asleep in pram if we were out or in the car and then I carried into the house and lay in bed or on couch.

It also meant we were quite flexible and weren't tied in to naps at home every day.

I think you are right AgathaCrispie.
I wish I hadn't spent so much time when he was newborn worrying about 'making a rod for my own back'.
I'm gradually learning to chill out but definitely need to relax a bit more.

I feel so silly worrying about something that's not even a problem yet!

It may never become a problem or it could be a problem regardless of what you have done!

You are right twolittlefeet this is why I need to stop getting so worried about it and just go with it. It's just nice to get the reassurance from fellow MNers!
You have all made me feel much better. Sometimes it's good just to have people tell you straight. X

I went through exactly the same thing with my little one - he suddenly started napping better at 6 months. Enjoy the cuddles.

It's horrible when you worry you are doing something 'wrong', I know I did with my first and went against my instincts a bit as I people were making me feel I needed to do things a certain way.
Glad you feel a bit better

I'm glad I've found this thread. Sounds like we are at a similar point with naps mumofzach. I've been told by so many people that I need to put DS down to sleep independently, but he sleeps so much better in the sling (been asleep there for an hour and a half now!), bit have decided to go with what works now. It's great to have reassurance that it does work!

My baby was a wonderful napper as a newborn. Now she's a 5 month old and it's like a whole new baby. She doesn't give signs that she's tired until she's overtired. If I watch the clock and put her down, it's always too early and she gets frustrated.

I turned to the books. Big mistake.

I spent two weeks worrying about sleep associations and not feeding to sleep and all that rod-own-back stuff too.

But I've decided, I wouldn't be scaffolding crawling for her like this. She'll crawl when she's ready, I'm not stressing about "don't let her wiggle about on her tum or she'll NEVER learn it properly" So, why would I do this with sleep?

The day I decided that, we had the best night's sleep in a long time plus some decent naps. If she gets 45 minutes each nap, that's fine by me. I don't care that she fell asleep feeding, why does my boob shoot out sleep hormones into her mouth if we aren't allowed to use them? People of the world!