Waking for dummy

[boodles101]

My 5.5month old son is rapidly growing out of his sleepyhead so I have taken the decision to move him to his cot this week. He already had most daytime naps in there so not such a huge shock. He is ebf and a normal night would be 2 feeds with no other waking in between. So it was all going so well until I moved him!
I get him to sleep by patting, shussing and holding his hands but he is now waking every 30-60 mins and crying out. When I go in, I give him his dummy and he's straight back to sleep.
I am continuing to feed a the same times as usual and then this gives him a bit longer sleep after but then straight back to crying.
Iv gone from being up twice to approx 20 times in the night and it's affecting us both!
I have put my clothes in his cot today to add my smell. I'm unsure whether to try him back in his sleepyhead but in the cot as a transition? Do I try going cold turkey with the dummy?? Advise please on getting him to sleep for longer periods.

Is the cot next to your bed? That would be the best place to start, if it's not. Then if you make sure dummy is very easy to find (which it needs to be for baby to find when older), you should be able to do dummy reinserts without even opening your eyes, just lean an arm into the cot.

Frequent waking is not because of the dummy. A dummy helps baby go to sleep. The process of going go sleep usually usually only takes 5 or 10 minutes. Once asleep the muscles of the mouth/jaw relax and the dummy drops. It's meant to.

If baby is not getting into a deep sleep and staying asleep - that's a completely seperate issue. All the dummy does is help baby go to sleep when they wake. If you ditch the dummy (as well as that being a SIDS risk) all you have is a baby waking frequently and also hard to get back to sleep.

So this waking frequently. Fretful nights are most often due to:

● Over Tired

A baby getting lots of sleep is easier to get to sleep, gets into a deep sleep easily, links sleep cycles without waking and so wakes less frequently.

A baby not getting enough sleep over an extended period (24/48 hours) will find it more difficult to get to sleep. Once asleep will find it difficult to get to the deep sleep phase so will stay light sleeping for more time. Then more likely to be disturbed when moving through sleep cycles or due to external factors. So the over tiredness cycles and baby's sleep gets more and more fractured and broken.

The way to deal with this is to focus on daytime naps. Make them more frequent, less awake time.

● Low Level Hunger

This doesn't mean the sort of hunger you get just before a feed. It means a baby whos calorie intake is on the low side overall. So baby has much fewer reserves available to help them sleep longer stretches at night.

The way to deal with this is also to focus on the daytime. Calorie load in the daytime with more frequent feeds. Bigger feeds isn't usually the way because if of the limitations of stomach size. But having more bottles per day, closer together, increases calorie intake.

Also watch out for the early weaning trap. Early weaning foods are low calorie. As such should not replace milk, otherwise total calorie intake drops. Milk feeds need maintaining, possibly even increasing, during early weaning. Solids should be on top of milk, not instead of.

● Place Of Falling Asleep

It's important that baby stays asleep where they fall asleep. So don't move baby once asleep, if possible.

The cot is in his room, not in mine.
Thanks what you have said is very helpful. It makes sense that he isn't getting into a deep sleep, only really does that after a feed and is then able to sleep longer. Although this wasn't an issue when he was sleeping in my room.
I will take on board what you have said and increase feeds during the day aswell as the naps. Thankyou that's very helpful.

I don't think there are any benefits in having baby in another room until sleeping through, or ready to sleep through. I think it's too easy to develop bad habits when you spend your nights walking back and forth to another room. You get much more knackered so start doing things just to make life easier, rather than it being for the good of promoting independant sleep.

With the cot next to my bed (and dummy attached to a ribbon I sewed on the sleeping bag - so I could get hold of it without opening my eyes), I honestly couldn't tell you how often baby needed a dummy reinsert at 6 months. I barely noticed, hardly woke up and did most of my settling whilst lying semi-concious with my eyes closed under the duvet.

By 7-8 months baby could do own dummy reinserts and by 9 months started sleeping through. That was when I started thinking about moving the cot into baby's room.

FATE can I ask a silly question? What type of cot do you have to be able to do that? A sidecar cot? If I take a side out then I'm not able to leave DS in there for naps. Even getting up to go for a wee in the night is tricky as he's a little ninja and can wake and crawl out in seconds.

Just a normal cot. A regular cot next to my bed.

I often advocate a sidecar cot, i.e. removing one side off a normal cot and wedding it up to the side of your bed. Is this what you are referring to onemumtwocountries? Ive always done that from birth and through the newborn phase.

All of my children were rolling by around 4 months old, so the side back on the cot. Indeed by 6 months old, so not far past where the op is, my children were all pulling up to sitting positions, so the mattress height was also dropped to the middle position, instead of the highest position. But always still next to my bed.

My latest cot was a drop-side one. As in you could lower one side by about 20cm to put baby in the cot. Useful if you are short like me! Also useful because I could have the fourth side of the cot back on, but the side in the lowered position. This creates a small barrier between bed and cot, but one easy to reach over.

Yep that's what I meant I should get myself a drop side cot. Didn't think I'd need one and bought a standard cot but should probably bite the bullet and replace it! Thank you.

I suppose it depends on the height of your bed, but I would manage fine without a drop-side cot.

The mattress on my bed is probably about 30cm lower than the top of the sides of a cot. So if you imagine me lying on the mattress my shoulder and armpit height while lying on my side are probably in line with the top of the cot bars. So I just have to reach over the side of the cot and down to reach baby.

The drop-side made life easier because then I could just reach across, rather than 'up and over' the side of the cot. But both are doable while lying in bed.

In my 13 years parenting 4 children I've had and 3 cots, 2 different martial beds and three different marital mattresses. They must all be pretty standard heights because I've always been able to reach down into the cot from my bed - even with all these different connotations. I sometimes used to get a 'dead arm' - when I fall asleep with my arm over the cot side and cut off blood circulation at the armpit (!). But, you know, it's just all part of the parenting game.

I don't have space in my room for his cot. Maybe I should put him back in his sleepyhead until he is able to self soothe better?

You'll then have a weaning off the sleepyhead issue.

I'd move a chest of drawers, or whatever, out of my room and rearrange furniture to fit the cot in.

Try a sleepytot rabbit.
Attach four dummies at night On my way! And baby should be able to find own dummy to reinsert.
Saved my sanity.

I need to look into this Sleepytot Rabbit!

Another tip is the MAM hole in the dark dummy. Complete game changer!

Gah! Glow in the dark that should have been!

Sleepytot is flaming brilliant.
DD is attached to hers now mind, so that's an issue we,lol have to deal with at some point. Bugs it's brilliant.
We always make sure we have a spare one in the house.
Which reminds me I should buy another one son. They tend to get washed a fair bit

Fate Am i being thick? I could never reach down that way. We have to have DS on the lowest mattress setting as he can stand and he would throw himself out of the cot otherwise...

I already have the glow in the dark dummies but DS tends to flip them so you can't see the glowing part! I'll check out sleepytot Thanks

onemumtwocountries

At 5.5 months (like the op) we still had cot mattress on the highest setting - that's when life is easiest. My bed height was such that the cot bars were about 30cm higher then my bed, so I could just reach in no problem at all.

By 6-7 months the cot matteess was dropped to middle setting due to baby sitting. And by this time baby was learning to do own dummy reinserts anyway, so much less need to reach into the cot. But the height of the cot bars (about 30cm higher than my bed) is still the same - so it's just as doable

We dropped to bottom cot mattress setting around 10 months. And by this time baby was increasingly sleeping through and could do own dummy inserts. So leaning into the cot was a non issue anyway.

Having a dropside cot helps. Even with the side back on (so not a 3-sided sidecar cot) the side nearest my bed was lower, only about 10cm higher than my mattress. We kept the drop side lowered until baby was about 12 months and in own room.

Other people, who's babies do need more settling than mine and don't have a drop side cot, could just keep the cot as a 3-sided sidecar cot for longer. The cot can more securely be tied/lashed to the bed. Then even with the cot side removed, the side of a divan bed could be made into a makeshift fourth side of the cot, but without any height difference when the cot mattress is lowered.

Another vote for sleepytot

Thank you Fate. So many solutions, it's all a bit overwhelming. 10 months here and doesn't have a dummy but needs water/shushing and patting/resettling.