My baby wont sleep and it is driving me crazy and making me resent him.

[Bigknees]

I do not think i have the patience to be a mum. I have done the sleep routine 7 times today and although it eventually works it is driving me bonkers. I can only hush pat so many times before i lose my shit. Husband is no help whatsoever of course.

Deep breaths. It makes you insane, I know. Been there, felt that, can't believe I never threw him out a window.

How old is baby?

I'm there with you mama!! Just keep repeating "this will pass"
You're doing great and definitely deserve some sort of chocolatey goodness as a reward (every night)...

6 months.

I have just had enough. I spend so long getting him to sleep and then back to sleep when he inevitably wakes (day and night) that it is all i do. He wont nap in his pram or car so i am stuck in the house all day. I actually feel like i am going to go insane. I have tried so many tactics but they only work for a few days.

I feel your pain I'm doing the exact same just now spending time getting her to sleep the then getting her back to sleep if she wakes early, then up and down stairs settling every night. I'm following advice from the no cry sleep soloution book though which takes time, I feel stressed by it all.

Could you join baby for a lie down when baby naps? Take the pressure of yourself.

Have you tried a dummy?

Or a sling? I went ahead and let baby nap on me when it helped. Is he breastfed or bottle?

I also found bouncing on an exercise ball worked like a bloody charm and was more restful than pacing.

It will get better. If you really have to put him down and leave the room for 5-10 minutes, do it. Do what you have to do.

Hi op i've got 3 kids.
I was like this with my first spent hours getting her down resented her loads, DD2 was & still goes to sleep easily but DS was the same as his big sister he never wanted to be put down, we tried to get him into a routine at about the same age but he just kept waking up so we just stopped and decided to go with him rather than stress ourselves out.

He came downstairs with us while we watched TV he'd usually have a crawl about or sit on our laps.

It was a really great decision cause it stopped us resenting him as soon as he started having longer sleeps and could be put down more (about 9/10 months) we re-started a dinner, bath, bed routine.

I know lots of people worry about getting them into a good routine early but 6 months is still very young and it's not working for you so make a decision to enjoy your baby honestly give it a few months and it will get better.

He's just turned 1 & is getting easier to settle off to sleep (tonight it took me 5-10 of breastfeeding & he was gone).

Another thing I've learnt is start settling them before you think they are tired so they don't get over tired and have a meltdown this applies to my 8 & 10 year old as well as the 1 year old.

It's rubbish but you are doing great

Thank you everyone. Last night was awful and my husband had to take over at 4am becasue i was just at the end of my patience. So i now feel like a dreadful wife as well as mum. It is good to know this is normal. As he only sleeps for 30-45 mins nornally there is little time to get a nap in as I take so long to drop off. Dh keeps saying thinga will get better but they feel worse than ever. Anyway....must keep going what choice do we have

As he only sleeps for 30-45 mins nornally there is little time to get a nap in as I take so long to drop off

30-45 minute naps are normal through this developmental stage. Keep them very frequent to avoid over tiredness. Awake time between naps wants to be 60-90 minutes. No more than 90 minutes, and that includes the time it takes you to settle baby to sleep.

In terms of your sleep - there is value in just lying down and resting in a dark room with your eyes closed. You can remove te pressure from yourself to go to sleep, but resting is important. And proper resting:- on your bed, with the curtains closed, in silence with no distractions and your eyes closed.

I've had two bad nappers and dc2 has been an awful sleeper. In the end i stopped living my life around naps and just got out and did what I wanted. I really wanted to get into a routine but neither of mine would play ball. So I went out in the car or with the buggy, pottered about town, went to baby groups, saw friends/parents and if they slept they slept, if not then so be it.

It's v hard at this age.

My advice would be just crack on otherwise you'll drive yourself mad.

Such good advice! Will defo staet resting but also will try and get out more. Days of just napping are the worst ones. Thank you all so much xx

When I'm having a bad day with DD (5months) I pop her in the pram and go for an aimless walk for however long it takes for me to get my shit together. Being stuck inside with a relentless baby is enough to drive anyone insane. Everyone comments on how sociable I am now whereas before I loved being a hermit! It's sanity saving.

Or if you have any relatives close by then walk to their house, even if you get to hand your LO over for 5 mins whilst you drink a brew, it's enough to reset your patience-o-mometer.

I heard that there was something called sleep training. It is supposed to help your baby to get on the right schedule when it comes to sleeping. I want to know if anyone has heard about this.

This was us 18 months ago, so I hear where you are coming from!!! During the day, our 'nap' routine basically became: soothe for 30+ minutes (swaddling, rocking, running the water, white noise, dark room, sling, walks, lullabies - you name it), he'd finally fall asleep, he'd sleep in my arms (he wouldn't sleep in his bed at all) for 10-30 minutes, then he'd wake up screaming, and we'd go through it all again. I knew he was exhausted. No joy. After two months of things getting worse and worse (and Baby getting crabbier and crabbier), we all finally decided to give sleep training a try. This video about sleep training helped us a lot bit.ly/31pPiH9

My little girl napped for 35 minutes on the dot between 3 months and 8 months, I just had to go with it or hold her for the afternoon nap then she’d sleep for an hour and a half. I worried myself silly about it but wish I hadn’t now. Also get a snoozeshade for the pram, works wonders

I found that acceptance was the key! Just accept your little one is not a great sleeper and go with it (easier said than done when you're sleep deprived). But it does work!

Giving loving responses, "okay cheeky monkey you're not sleeping but I'm here for you... sleep on me, I love you".

They're very little at this age and have no comprehension of much and I bet if she could or knew how she'd love to just sleep - if anything to stop upsetting mummy.

Have you got a carrier you can put your little one in? They might nap better just being close to you? And try not to get resentful as they do pick up on this (believe it or not) and this in turn stresses them out even more and then it becomes a vicious circle 😕

Do you co-sleep? My little one went through a phase of waking up at 4am around this age, I just brought her into bed with me till the phase passed and they do! I actually miss her cuddling into me like she did 😄

Hope things improve for you all.