What time do your babies go to bed?

[florenceuk]

At the moment DS (7 mths) goes to sleep around 7-7.30pm -the exact timing of this depends on when he woke up from his afternoon nap. However, DH only gets home at 6.30pm at the earliest, and more likely 7pm - we live in London, and his commute takes an hour. He thinks we could keep DS up a bit later - and that somehow I've deliberately adopted a routine which means he has very little time with him. So, what time do your babies go to bed? If your baby does go to sleep later, what does your routine look like? At the moment mine is:

• Wake up time 5.30-6.30am
• Nap around 9am (having absorbed various hints that this might solve the early morning waking - still waiting for results) - this lasts for about 1hr15min-1hr30 - he seems so asleep I'm reluctant to wake him up any sooner
• Nap at around 12.30-1pm - this has lately been a good solid 2hrs and even 3hrs - I figure he's really tired from the early start to the day
• No pm nap unless we are out and about in the buggy - I've never been able to get him to take this nap at home, he just screams
• Bed at 7-7.30pm

Should mention that we are also in the middle of sleep-training and I have only just (last night) dropped the last (midnight) feed! So this is all subject to change. If he slept later we could shift the whole routine later, but my feeling is that he will just take shorter naps, and still want to go to bed at 7pm. These very long naps are quite a recent development.

Any views/experiences?

I'm in the same boat my dd goes to bed at 7:00 and wakes at 5:30 - 6:00 (a bit of a killer in the mornings!). I work part time and on those days DH leaves work early to pick dd up - I don't see her as she is in bed when I get home. The rest of the time dh doesn't see her in the evenings. Have tried everything to keep her awake until 8:00pm but no joy as she is absolutely knackered by 7:00 so I wish I could help but cannot offer any practical advise I'm afraid.

We've solved the problem of DP not seeing anything of DS in the evening by DP getting him up most mornings. This seems to work for everyone - DS seems calmer than when I get him up, DP gets quality time and I can snooze in. Only thing is DP is totally knackered but definitely much happier.

My 7 month old follows your pattern almost exactly Florencuk although the day time naps are quite a bit shorter. Also, I usually feed her at around 3am and then again at 6am before leaving for work. I too would prefer it if she went to sleep at 7.45pm or so. But however much sleep she has during the day, come 7pm she is clearly ready for bed.

DS's schedule @ 9 months is typically:

• Wake up time 6.30-6.45am
• Nap around 9.30am after breakfast - 30-45 mins on average
• Nap at around 1pm after lunch - about an hour usually - has been know to be as much as 2 and half on very rare occasions
• Short sleep in the car going home from nursery and/or after getting home - usually 30 mins max
• Bed at 9.30pm

I'm pretty flexible about this - he'll sleep at other times in the car or the buggy for example, and sometimes goes all day without anything but the post-breakfast snooze - and it doesn't seem to affect him at all. In fact I never put him in his cot during the day, just put him in his buggy or highchair (which reclines and has a high padded back) when he looks like falling asleep. Overall I think he sleeps unusually little though - never more than 12 hours in a 24 hour period.

I must admit it is nice in one way to have him awake in the evenings as we're both working during the day, but it does mean that nothing gets done until after his 9.30 bedtime so it doesn't leave a lot of "sit down and relax" time.

This all sounds very familiar. My ds goes to bed at 7pm. Up at 6am. Nap two hours later or so, for about 45 mins. Maybe a nap after lunch at 12.30 - about 50mins. Then another short nap pm if out and about in car or pushchair. He has breakfast around 7am after an early b/f, rusk another morning b/f, lunch at 12.30ish, rusk and more b/f in afternoon, tea at 5 - 5.30, bath at 6ish, another bf and bed.

We have put our son to bed around 9pm since he was about 6 mo. old (before that he fed every 2 hours day and night so bedtime didn't really exist). I don't get home from work until 6 or 6:30 and want to spend time with my son. Until he is of school age and has a reason to get up early, I see no reason for him not to have a schedule that is convenient to mine. He generally wakes up around 7am. Now that he is 18 mo. he takes one 1-2 hour nap around 1pm (though this could happen at 12 or 3 as well. He used to take 2 naps at around 10:30 and 3:30. He has breakfast with us any time between 7:30-9:00. Lunch with the childminder around 12:30 (i think). I think she gives him a snack at around 10:30 and 3:30 and then he has dinner with us any time between 6:30 - 8:00. He is a healthy, happy baby who sleeps in his own bed through the night most nights. (of course there are occasional upsets when he is ill or we are travelling) I haven't found that the length of his daytime nap affects his nighttime sleeps. Some days he just seems to need less/more sleep. And the same goes for food. Some days he just eats more than others. If you are trying to shift the routine later, I would suggest starting by trying to keep him up an extra 15min. each day, rather than fiddling with the nap times. But it probably depends somewhat on your baby's personality which you know best. I am lucky as my son never gets cranky when he hasn't had enough sleep...he just falls asleep (he has been known to fall asleep at dinner midmouthful in a bowl of rice after being up all night with a cough). Good luck.

Hi Florenceuk. If you are starting your day at 5.30/6.30 I would have thought that you would be completely knackered by 7 pm, I know I would be, so how do you feel about keeping ds up a bit later? If your dp wants to keep him up later so he can spend time with him, maybe you could suggest he does the evening routine i.e bath and feed while you put your feet up

Can't help you on the later bedtime routine as dd has always been a 7 - 7 girl! But good luck and I hope you get things sorted.

Bells, off the topic of this thread but reading your posting I see you feed your baby at 3 am, then 6 am, then put in a full day's work. I want to know where you get your energy from and can I have some please?

Hi Cam. A full day's work for me entails me sitting on my bum so its not that difficult and I have to get up at 5.45am anyway so I am really only woken once in the night (although we have had an horrrendous 10 days due to dd having a persistent cold/cough).

Rather than sleep training my babies, I have actually sleep trained myself!. I used to be an horrendous insomniac before having children. Some nights I would literally only manage 2 -3 hours sleep and I was regularly reading /watching tv/ cleaning in the small hours due to my inability to sleep. Since having my son almost three years ago I took the decision that I would pretty much feed him on demand and not leave him to cry. After 4 months or so of constantly interrupted nights, I found that I was actually starting to sleep very soundly between wakenings and where as before, if woken, I would really struggle to get back to sleep, now after feeding him, I would go straight back to sleep.

I just go to bed half an hour earlier than I would have before having my daughter and I really don't feel especially tired at all.

Thanks for the views. Maybe it is just an anal Anglo-Saxon thing (or is it the influence of GF!!) that we send our children to bed at 7pm, but it seems quite common. For those that seem to have a later bedtime, your babies generally seem to sleep a bit less than DS - having said that, today DS only had a 45min nap today after lunch and stayed up until 7.30pm - major screaming fit before he went down though, which I take as a sign that he was rather overtired. As DH gets home at 6.30-7pm, it is hard for him to pick up the routine as DS is often ready for bed when DH gets home - although tonight he really perked up when DH got home and appeared to get a second wind, hence the later bedtime. Mornings - well, I usually get up and do the morning feed, which is hard to delegate, appealing though it might sound! Then we generally share care of DS while we both get up and get ready for the day.

Bells2, I found that when I dropped the late night feeds I could not go to sleep - I missed my dose of oxytocin or whatever it is that you get from bf, and it took me a few days to adjust. So this might be why you feel you are sleeping so well?

It is cultural. FWIW -- I was in Spain last week, and of course, people work until 7pm, the nurseries are open sort of 8:30am-2pm and again 4:30-7:30pm, and suppertime is usually around 9-10pm. Many under 4's go to bed with an early supper by 9pm. But plenty of kids don't kip until after the evening meal with their folks which means a 10pm-midnight bedtime. They might sleep later in the morning if before school age. I'm told that 5-6 yos often still have an afternoon nap during the siesta hours (1-5pm) inbetween times when they're off at school.

Florenceuk, don't know whether your comment was supposed to be, but I actually found it quite offensive (the anal anglo saxon one) oh and yet another dig at GF. It's funny how pro routine people and GF fans don't seem to criticise others with differing views they just accept that these ways don't suit all.
Frankly I'm getting really bored with having to defend having my baby in a routine, going to bed at 7 etc......to me it has been a life saver and for dd......even total strangers remark that she is one of the happiest most contented babies they have come across.
Again, I say each to their own if it suits you to have baby up until 9/10 pm absolutely fine, but please don't call anyone who does things differently anal.

Oh and another thing, don't know what's anal about contented baby going to bed at 7 while mum and dad enjoy a meal and a few glasses of wine.

I think florencuk was just making a light hearted remark - especially as she herself has a baby that goes to bed at 7pm!

Don't think it's anal but I agree that the 7pm - 7am thing is an anglo saxon thing - I live in Spain and they think I'm odd for wanting to eat at 8pm! For the baby we're working on a 9pm bedtime to acheive (eventually) a 9am waking - otherwise she's never get to see anybody (visitors etc), nver mind dh. The afternoon nap is usually about 2 (siesta time) and everything else just seems to fit in.

Between 7 and 7.30 now I have finally mastered a routine. My d.s has recently (last 10 days) started to sleep through the night and only has a 30 min nap in morning, around 10ish and another 40 min nap about 1.30, so by 7, he is usually really tired and happily goes into his cot. I must say that, for us, this has relieved a lot of pressure. We have 2 other kids (5 & 7)and they go to bed at 7 too, after a story.

We find we can then relax, knowing the baby will usually be settled for the night and, to be honest, I feel I enjoy the time I spend with d.s. even more now, because I know I will have some child-free time in the evenings! Should add that he has suddenly started to eat loads more: its as if he was ready for more of a routine at 8 months. I really think that this is one of those issues where you simply have to see what works for you and your family and go with it.

Sweet dreams to all

I found my ds started going to bed at 7pm all by himself! Suddenly, out of the chaos of his non-routine, he seemed to decide that was when he was tired and attempts to keep him up longer just made him grizzly and upset. I don't particularly like the early mornings but after more than 7 months of broken nights, just feel grateful he has a bedtime and sleeps all night. I also agree with whoever it was that said everything changed at 8months. That was when he slept through the night with minimal sleep training etc.

Melly, no offence intended - just that it is a very English/American/Antipodean thing to have a 7pm bedtime (and I count myself in that group). I was partly looking for evidence to quote to DH that I was not deliberately depriving him of time with DS at the end of the day, but also just curious as to how many exceptions to the rule there were. Personally I'd love DS to be on a 7-7 timetable - I could do with the sleep in the morning!! I did read somewhere that a wake-up time between 6-7am was biologically determined, not culturally determined, but clearly this is not true for all - well maybe just in the summer....