Excited 9 month old waking a lot with change of routine

[LambChopsMcGee]

Hiya
So, I have a 9 mo DD, and we've not exactly had a normal bedtime routine until now, but it has worked ok for us. She basically goes to bed when I go (10.30) has a feed/cuddle to sleep then is placed in the cot to sleep about 11.30/12. She had been sleeping ok, waking maybe once maybe twice per night, feeding back to sleep or falling asleep on my shoulder. We both wake up about 9am. We live like lazy teens, and that has been ok.

With a view to starting nursery in a couple of months, I have been wanting to move bedtime to more like 8pm. So for example this week I have been giving her a feed about then or a bit later, and DP has been rocking and singing her to sleep, placing her in the cot and she sleeps maybe an hour, 90 min, waking 11 or so, often for another feed. That seems understandable. But then she's been waking about every hour through the whole night. She often won't accept being returned to the cot in the later hours (usually wakes when put down, or after a few minutes), so I have been co-sleeping with her, which I want to stop as it makes me anxious (esp when I am so tired) and I don't sleep well (having to be aware of her, hold on so she doesn't crawl off the bed). I don't know if it is the new routine, or the recent hot weather here, or just her age, but she's a lot more difficult in the night.

I have read about pick up/put down and various things, but they seem to address the idea of a baby who is upset. DD is just excited. She standing in her cot grinning and yelling with excitement, moshing away. She gets annoyed if I just ignore her, and I don't think she would self settle.

I am aware from reading other threads on here that my first priority should probably be to cut out the night feeds -- though I will keep one at 10/11 for a while if she wakes then as that's been her bedtime for so long.

I am willing to go a few nights without sleep if I think I am pursuing something that will be helpful, but as it is I am not sure what to do.

Any advice (or anecdotes from others with similar experiences) is very much appreciated.

What are naps like? How do you settle her for naps?

Damn. Wrote a reply on my phone and it didn't post...

Naps are quite erratic. She will tend to sleep mid morning and mid afternoon, for anything from 25 minutes to a couple of hours. Doesn't seem to affect her night time sleep, though I could be wrong. I think she is a bit over tired at the moment so I am trying to anticipate tiredness and encourage naps.

She naps in her pram, either falling asleep while we are out, being rocked to sleep in the hall, or falling asleep in there while watching me potter about in the kitchen or sit on the sofa.

Only once (ever) have I succeeded in transferring to the cot for a nap, after she fell asleep on me feeding, which she did all the time when she was a little baby (people said not to, but I liked it and I stand by that, even if it meant we didn't establish "good" rountines earlier)

You could do with routining the while day in order to see a change, rather than just bedtime.

This starts not with bedtime, but with morning time. So I would start waking her at 7am every morning, if she's not already awake by then. So that might mean a 6.45am alarm for you and with children, it wants to be 7 days a week, 365 days a year at 7am.

A set wake up time then leads to a set morning nap time. A 7am wake would give 9am natural time for first nap.

Then begins your degree of flexibility. If the morning nap is around 90m or longer, then allow for a 3h awake time (ish) until the next nap. If the morning nap is short, awake time might only be 2 hours.

Then again the flexibility with regards to 3rd nap, or not. Most babies at 9m would have dropped their third nap. Or being in the process of dropoing it.

So if the wake up time from the second nap is before 3pm (either because of a short morning nap, or a short afternoon nap, or both), then a teatime nap around 4.30pm is likely to be needed. But limit it to 30-45 minutes.

If the second nap ends after 3pm, then allow for 4h-4h30m awake time until bedtime. So make the timing of bedtime flexible accordingly.

Then usr give it time. You'll eventually start noticing that the morning nap lasts a routines amount of time and baby tends to keep waking at the same sort of time. Which then means the afternoon nap starts happening at the same time every day too. That then ends uo giving you a predictable afternoon nap time and at that point the tine of bedtime gets fixed.

It all starts with a set, regular wake up time.

Thanks so much FATEdestiny, I've seen your helpful comments on other threads and have been taking your ideas in, but great to have your input here!

I will definitely try what you suggest. We currently have an alarm set for 8.30am, but I will move it earlier this week.

I do think I need to be more disciplined and aware of nap times. I have been very laid back so far and that has worked well for me, not stressing about anything, but I am ready to have a routine now, and I think DD will take to it ok.

Do you think that this routine will help with her night waking as well? Have you any advice for what to do when she wakes and is so maniacally excited at night?

She's had a late nap today -- I wasn't organised enough this morning and she had her first nap more like 1pm, and second ended after 5pm. So we will have a later bedtime tonight as you suggest and try to get into better timings tomorrow.

Really appreciate your advice.

It's difficult to say for certain the cause of her night wakings. Ive always had babies who don't really cry, in a similar way to yours. They just sort of jump up and down or call for my attention, rather than screaming.

At 9 months I would still have the cot next to my bed (until about 12 months) because in-cot settling is more preferable to me than cosleeping. But I want to do that in-cot settling from the comfort of my own bed.

The likely causes of her waking and being difficult to resettle are

• method of going to sleep. Feeding to sleep is not conducive to independant sleeping, it needs to be in-cot settling.

• over tired and not enough daytime sleep causing fractious nights sleep. Difficult to know if this is a factor without a predictable routine

• gross motor skill developments always make sleep go rubbish. Rocking on all-fours, crawling, pulling to standing etc.

I agree with FATE, my ds slept very well until he learnt to crawl at 7-8 months. Then it went very much to pot. He woke every hour-90 minutes and only milk would settle him although he was literally taking less than an oz each time. We struggled on for 2 months until he was around 9 months when I got pregnant and just could not do it any longer. Dp took over and lasted a week before Something Had To Be Done!
I had always let ds nap either on me or the buggy. Under 6 months I think this is fine, nice even but when his sleep went to pot I started to put him down in his cot to sleep. It took a fortnight I think, I did a shortened bedtime routine so said 'good nap' to the family photos (no idea how that started!), closed the curtains, dummy in, special teddy in cot. I then lay him down and rubbed his back/patted his bum. I started off waiting till he was asleep then left but gradually started leaving earlier and earlier.

Then we night weaned at 10 months or so. We offered water and rocked him back to sleep. Looking back this was a mistake! He was pretty heavy and it was breaking my back. We also started to give him hos last milk downstairs, brushing his teeth then doing cot. When he was settling well for naps, going to sleep by himself at bedtime in a good routine and night weaned we did controlled crying for night wakings- or at least a version of it. Took two nights and he's slept through every night (barring ilkness)since.