Need some reassurance for my own sanity

[user1498608096]

My three week old baby hardly sleeps and when I put her down she's up within a matter of minutes. She can probably do around 15 mins max before she's crying to be picked up again. I envy those people that say their baby wakes every two hours as that must mean that they might get to close their eyes for maybe 30 mins. Every night I'm sat on the sofa until the sun comes up wondering if I will ever sleep again.

She will only settle briefly on my chest and I can't sleep on my back and also the anxiety of dropping her means I'm not able to actually sleep.

She does appear to have some wind and potentially colic and we are trying everything possible to help this.

I'm not looking for suggestions as I have both my own doctor and doctor google on the case. I just want to know that it will get better and to hear from parents that have come out the other side. I know that three weeks means she is very new to the world but I need to know roughly when I can expect to have at least a few hours sleep again.

Sleepyhead? It's been a godsend. With DS1 it got better after 6 weeks. The No Cry Sleep Dolution has some good tips on reducing arm sleeping.

Could she be hungry? Although my baby seemed to feed, she would suck for ages, i didnt know babies do that even if there is no milk. i got more tired as the day went on and if you are tired apparently you produce less milk. my first baby jst would not settle because she was crying for more milk. i used formula for the later feed and breastfed durng the day till they were both nine months. worth a try? good luck...it will get better soon

My first was just like this! She had terrible reflux and would be sick after every feed. For us or didn't really get better until about 4/5 months. Until then we just did what we could to survive! Do you have a partner who can help out? My husband and I used to take it on turns to stay up with her through the night.

But I can report that now she sleeps soundly through the night and has done since about 8 months. And our second child is one of those babies who wakes every 2/3 hours which is bliss compared to the first.

So yes, it does get better!!

Yup she will get there. DD2 is 4 months and has just done a 6 hr stretch for the first time in her life (just woke for a bf now). Last night she only woke once between 2130 and 0610. I won't lie, the first months have been pretty crappy sleep and have really dragged but it feels like we're on the upward leg now - just hope it lasts! Congratulations on your lo and solidarity on sleep deprivation. Haribo and coffee are your friends.

She can probably do around 15 mins max before she's crying to be picked up again

Two seperate issues.

Newborn not sleeping for decent, restorative lengths of time = not normal

Newborn preferring to be held = normal

That does not mean you should be hold baby for all sleep. It is dangerous to hold baby all night long - stop doing that. The SIDS risk from you falling asleep is massive. Please stop. It's unusustainable and definately not what most people do.

Instead, do things to make putying baby down easier:

■ Feed feed and feed some more. The vast majority of sleep issues in a newborn are feeding related. Feed baby more, there's a good chance the lack of settling is due to hunger.

■ swaddle - recreates the feeling of being held. Do it quite right around the shoulders. I used a cot sheet but a giant muslin does the same. Cost only a few pounds

■ if breastfeeding try feeding lying down and leave baby there after the feed. This can be done on the floor in the living room. Or cosleeping in bed, if done safely.

■ Try a dummy. They are AMAZING

■ Try rocking to sleep, or bouncing baby in a bouncy chair. Or pushchair or sling walk. Movement often helps

■ If you don't have a cosleeper crib, you can take one side off most cots. Wedge it up to your bed and then you can cuddle up to baby (whilst holding dummy in) while lying in your bed

■ Try raising one end of the cot by putying tins of tuna under the feet at one end. Daytime naps in a bouncy chair also hold baby in a position where head is higher than stomach - good for reflux.

My baby was like this he did get better (in terms of sleeping for a few hour periods) after a few months. You just have to ride it out. It's the hardest thing you'll ever do but it will 100% get better. Try not to get down and take all the help you can. One day you will sleep again. If my baby can do it anyone's can! Good luck and stay strong!