20 month old still feeding to sleep!!

[LavenderShortbread]

I can not get my DD to sleep unless I breastfeed her and even then it takes an absolute age. I have tried everything but nothing else works. She goes in her cot after 30 mins to an hour of feeding then I sing to her and hold her hand until she eventually settles to sleep. Ive tried leaving the room before she's asleep but she gets so upset & refuses to lie down. Now the evenings are light bedtime is a total nightmare and I spend my evenings trying to get DD to sleep by which time I'm exhausted and go straight to bed myself. How do I break this cycle? I'm going crazy!!

That sounds like she's going to sleep in the cot? (Holding your hand, singing etc).

That's feeding to drowsy, not feeding to sleep. An important distinction.

How sleepy is she when she goes in the cot?

She can be completely asleep, or at least seem to be, then when I put her in her cot she wakes up and reaches for my hand. Other times she'll stay asleep and go straight from boob to cot without stirring but this is tending to happen less and less which I guess is a step in the right direction?

I would look on high needs websites. DS was a high needs baby and part of the struggle tends to be the sleep issues you mention. I found so much support and advice

Are you putting her to bed earlier than necessary? Waiting another half an hour may make it easier, unless she tantrums if she's tired

In order to physically see yourself making progress (which may help) start timing and limiting the breastfeed.

• a week when its no later than 45m breastfeed and 15m standing by cot
• a week when its no later than 40m breastfeed and 15m standing by cot
• a week when its no later than 35m breastfeed and 15m standing by cot

And so on