15 month not going to sleep

[notfromstepford]

Hi everyone
Not sure if anyone can offer any advice or words of wisdom but if you can it would be gratefully received! Sorry it's so long!

DS 2 is 15 months. He's always been a perfect sleeper - asleep by 7 and up between 5.30 and 6.30 give or take.
However, since the hot weather (which we put down to just being hot a bothered) he is mostly a nightmare for going to sleep.
It's now regularly between 9 and 10 - last night was 10.30 before he went to sleep.

He does then tend to sleep all night - so I know I'm really lucky in that respect (DS1 was a nightmare until he was 4.5 - with multiple wakings, night terrors, vomiting when he had a cold and sleep apnea - thankfully this is now sorted after he had his adenoids and tonsils removed - so I'm no stranger to crap sleep) but I'm at a loss as to what to do.

He's clearly tired and then next day he's grouchy because he's not slept enough. He naps once a day (never been a big sleeper during the day even since tiny) and I've told nursery not to let him nap past 2.30 to try to stop this as they would let him sleep sometimes until 4pm.

Yesterday he got up at 6, napped at about 10.30am for an hour. At 5.30pm he was knackered and I thought brilliant, don't mind if he goes to sleep now - I get up early anyway so that's fine. He nodded off for 20 mins and then that was it. Wide awake. Then at about 10.15pm screamed the place down then passed out at 10.30.

I'm hoping it's because he's learning to talk and this is just a phase he's going through. This weekend he also has been biting on everything so he must have some more teeth coming through.
This morning he was up at 5.15am. Then he's in a mood because he's tired. We have a 40 minute drive to nursery - and he didn't even fall asleep then.

I'm mainly worried that this will become his new norm. I have no problem with early risers - I've always been a rubbish sleeper and am up early anyway, but I'm just finding this draining at the moment and have no time for me. I know that sounds selfish - but just a cup of tea in peace and quiet would be nice. Last night I put him to bed then I went to straight to bed because I was knackered.

Will it pass (in which case that's fine if there is light at the end of the tunnel) or is there something I should be doing to stop this before it becomes habit?
Thanks if you got this far!

It sounds like you have got into an over tiredness spiral.

Bad slerp tends toperpetuate worse sleep, and good sleep promotes better sleep.

A baby getting plenty of sleep is easier to get to sleep, goes into a deeper sleep and so stays asleep longer. An over tired baby will find it harder to get to sleep. Once asleep it is likely to be a lighter, more restful sleep this waking more frequently.

So once over tired, without intervention sleep gets worse and worse and worse. You can get out of this cycle, but it takes concerted effort.

Rather than limiting sleep and offering less opportunity for sleep in the daytime - do the opposite. Make opportunities and shift routine to allow for more daytime sleep, chances to catch up on missed sleep. Absolutely avoid baby getting anywhere near the exhausted stage.

For comparison, at 15 months my DD was napping 9-11am and 1-3pm every day, with 8pm-7am uninterputed nights sleep. She didn't drop to 1-nap days until 22 months. Now, at 2y9m, she sleeps 3h in the afternoon plus 12h at night. There is absolutely no way 1h daytime sleep would be enough sleep. She's be absolutely exhausted on that little sleep, even now let alone as a 15 month old little one.

Thanks so much for replying.

You're right about the overtired cycle - I'd kind of forgotten about that.

He actually slept much better last night and went to sleep at 7 and woke up at 5.45. He was restless though for the first 2 hours - lots of shuffling around in his bed but didn't wake up.

So I've taken your advice and I've spoken to nursery when I dropped him off this morning about just letting him sleep and hopefully we'll get back on track after a while.

Really appreciate your perspective on this - makes you stop and think and see a way out of the vicious cycle!

Wow fate you were very lucky your daughter slept that long at that age. I don't know anyone who's baby sleeps like that! Most kids are too interested in the world by that age to sleep 4 hours a day

I wouldn't say lucky, just well trained. She's my fourth child.

I often hear the passive aggressive inference that babies who sleep well are not as alert / awake / active / interested as their counterparts who sleep much less. My experience is wholly the opposite. Precisely because she is very well-rested means that she is a delight and into everything, always on the go, learning quickly, always happy, rarely tantrums, essy to behaviour manage since she is never tired and grumpy for the entire time she's awake.