Baby shuffling around while mum needs sleep

[JimJammum]

Can anyone talk some sense to me!!

DS (11 weeks) sleeps happily from 7pm approx and we wake for feed approx 10.15pm. For the last couple of nights he has not been getting off to sleep again - basically shuffles around in moses for approx 1 - 1 & 1/2 hours. He then only sleeps for about 1 -1 1/2 hours until ready for another feed. I drop off to sleep but am waking every 20 mins or so and concerned he is not settling himself off. If I pick him up he usually settles. Of course, I am exhausted from being up every 20-30 mins through the night, and he is being a terror in the day as he is exhausted too.

Should I be getting up to check on him in the night when he is not sleeping, or do I stick him the nursery (as opposed to by my bed) and only go in to him when he cries out (which he never yet done - probably because I am getting to him before he needs to)?

Hope this all makes sense - my mum thinks I'm mad getting up to a baby who is not crying!!!!

If you feel comfortable with him in another room, I would try putting him in the nursery so that you are only disturbed by him when he really needs you. I know some mothers can't bear such an early separation but I am a light sleeper and with both children it suited me better to put them in their own rooms straight away.
For the sake of decent sleep later on in life, you don't want him to get into the habit of seeing you in the night if he doesn't really need you. He WILL let you know when he needs you.

My ds2 is 11 weeks and is the same. He'll sleep from 7/8pm ish until midnight but then fusses a lot if he's put back in his cot. Do you have to wake him at 10 for a feed or does he wake naturally at that time? If you're waking him I'd be inclined to say leave him and see what time he'd wake naturally as you may be interrupting a sleep cycle by waking him when he's not ready. If you leave him you could go to bed an hour earlier to make up for the extra waking but potentially get better quality sleep.

Are you bf or ff? I ff ds1 and dd and put both of them in their own rooms by 6 weeks because I couldn't cope with waking up at every snuffle. They were fine and I slept an awful lot better. This time I'm bf and I've solved it by co sleeping but that may not be your cup of tea. There is lots of guidance around on doing it safely (just google 'safe co-sleeping' or search for it on here) and ds2 definitely sleeps better in with us. Plus it means I don't have to completely wake up to feed.

What are his sleep patterns like in the day? Is he getting sufficient sleep during the day so that he isn't overtired at night time as that can interfere with the quality of their night sleeping.

Hope some of that helps and makes sense!

I used to wake my dd for a 10pm-ish feed, until my mum asked me why, and I didn't like to say 'the book says so'! I found straight away that leaving her made no difference to what time she woke for the next feed, and like Olihan, suspect that you are disturbing a sleep cycle, and your ds isn't very pleased about it. I too, found that my dd's 'shuffling' kept me awake, and mine her. At 12 weeks we put her in her own room, in the big cot, and 3 nights later she slept a 12 hour night, and has done ever since.

There is hope for me then!

DS is bf except for one bottle before bed (that dh could give if I needed an early night).

He usually goes down to nap OK in the day, but wakes after 30-40 mins and settles back off to sleep again if I give a cuddle, which suggests he is waking before he needs to. However, if I leave him in the cot he can't get himself back off again.

Good to know that some of you have felt able to put yours in nursery without worrying - I feel a bit blackmailed by the advice suggesting keeping them in your room until 6 months due to cot death. However, he will be out of moses soon, so will have to bite the bullet eventually.

Olihan - I have slept with him in my arms if I am really exhausted but don't sleep well with him in the bed as I feel a bit on edge and also not much room for 3 of us!!!

Gosh, didn't know they were giving that advice for avoiding cot death. But then I'm in France so the advice is probably different over here.