Any ideas how to get a 12 week old to nap?

[Cazee]

Hi. I am new to the sleep topic, so I appologise if this has been covered recently, skimmed the threads but couldn't see anything specific. I know at 12 weeks my DD is far to young for any sort of sleep training, and I don't believe in leaving babies to cry, so what can I try? She starts crying when she is tired, and until recently would only sleep if I rocked her for 20-30 mins, but would then wake up as soon as I put her down in her cot. I decided this wasn't working, so now I suckle her to sleep, but this is confusing her as she doesn't want to eat, and I am probably creating an association that will be a difficult to break later. So to sum up, any ideas of ways to get babies to fall asleep in their cots?

no idea! my daughter is 5 months and wont nap either though is fine at night. only way is to take her out in her pram.

ps sorry no caps - am bfing!

My DD is fine at night too, so I know I am lucky, but she gets very upset in the day when she is tired, but just won't sleep. She is wailing pitifuly now, so I am rocking her in her car seat, so that at least if she falls asleep I won't have to move her, which always wakes her. Don't think car seats are that good for their back though...

also have you tried the bouncer? if it's a nice one they can be quite good to sleep in, bouncing it with my foot iyswim

My ds is 10 weeks and has had 3 proper naps in his cot in his life and one in his bouncy chair! He gets really tired too but just won't nap so I have to plan the day around gtting a good afternoon walk in!

Yes Margoandjerry, I have tried the bouncer but she HATES it! She will sleep if I go out with her, as you suggest Indith, but she needs 3 naps or so in the day, and I worry that she will only learn to sleep in a moving pushchair!

If she sleeps in a pushchair take her out at the times you want to sleep. Once she's used to sleeping those times you could start cutting your walks short so she sleeps in a still pushchair. Then you could move on to not moving it in the first place, then to not taking it outside, then to placing it in her room and then putting her in her cot.
Personally I'd just resign myself to spending lots of time doing PUPD (as per the baby whisperer) with her in a cot for a few days.
When ds2 was tiny I used a dummy to establish a napping routine - which may be especially useful if your dd's become used to suckling to get to sleep.
Another thing I used to do was wrap ds2 in a blanket and cuddle him until he was dropping off and then placing him in his crib/cot - so he wasn't getting that shock of warm arms to cold bed.
Whichever way once you've got them sorted you need to resign yourself to the fact that the situation can change again at the drop of a hat for no apparent reason when they're small! (Ds2 turned 3 months this week and we went through this 10 days ago. It took 5 days to sort even though he'd been doing fine until then. The longest session was 1 hour 10 to get him to have his midday sleep and I felt really sorry for neglecting ds1. Touching wood things appear to have settled again now.)
Given the similarity in our dc ages it could also just be a developmental thing too.

Thanks yomellamoHelly, super ideas. I have tried a dummy, but she just makes choking noises! I will persevere though, as I am sure she will get used to it. I think she may be too young for PUPD at the moment. I will try your idea of getting her used certain nap times by walking her, perhaps I am hoping for too much at once. At least once I know when she needs her sleeps I can work on how to get her to sleep!

Hi

You have already had excellent advice, but just wanted to add that my DS would not nap...until I wore him in a sling, just for naps. He goes out like a light as he associates the sling with napping - and I just sit at the computer on MN so it is a win-win situation as they say! Might work for you if the pram doesn't (my DS would wake up the second we weren't walking).

9nut

My 3 year old trained my 5 month old to nap. He was never, ever left to cry. However, because he isn't that great at wiping his bottom on his own, I have lost count of the number of times that I have had to leave her for 2 minutes while I sort him out. If she is really tired she falls asleep. I don't try to make her nap upstairs in her cot, but for instance today she fell asleep on a folded up towel on the bathroom floor. Obviously this isn't going to be safe once she starts moving a bit more, but I think she has learned some good sleep skills (if rather unconventionally), which she has now transferred to bedtime, and I have also learnt the elusive "sleep signs".

Anyway, my message is that it may be easier to let her fall asleep by herself if you are in the room with her, and engaged in doing something else. I wouldn't advocate leaving her to cry for long periods of time.

Breastfeeding a baby to sleep is such a useful mothering tool far from 'confusing her' or 'creating an association that will be difficult to break later' it is a part of what breastfeeding is meant to do, ie relax both of you, 'knock-out drops'. Once she has fallen asleep, you can slip out of bed and get on with whatever you want to do or you can have a cosy rest too. I have breastfed all my babies and find this by far the most effective way of getting a child to sleep. I feel sorry for mums who have to walk to and fro, pushing or rocking - a quick suckle is all that's needed.

bionicley, that is so lovely to hear . I love to suckle her to sleep, but I felt I was doing it all wrong, because all the books seem to say this is the worst idea. I also like MadamePlatypus' idea of a sling, but again felt that I should be training her to sleep on her own. I think I should just admit to myself that I'm soft as anything, strap her on and stop worrying!

wellieboot, twice in one day she fell asleep in her cot under her mobile, and I thought I had cracked it, until the next time when she attacked her mobile by waggling her arms in an extremely angry way! Now if I so much as show her the mobile...

Ah, I have just remembered why I was worried about suckling her to sleep . It is because I won't be able to do this for much longer, as it won't be safe to leave her on the bed when she can roll over.

Can't claim credit for the sling idea, but even though my suggestion was about going to sleep on your own, I would like to say that in lots of ways I do agree with bionicley. BF to sleep is only a bad sleep association if you don't want to BF to sleep. DS was BF to sleep till he was 6 months, then we patted him to sleep till he was about 18 months. As discussed below, DD started to learn to go to sleep by herself more or less by accident. However, if you are happy BF to sleep, that is absolutely fine.

sorry, going to sleep on HER own.

cazee. i have a 3 1/2 month old. i have found that she can only really stay up about 90mins and then she is ready for a nap. Fortunately she has found her thumb so when she gets tired in it goes and that is my cue to wind her down.

For ages she slept in her car seat in the day. I sometimes b/f her until she is pretty sleepy and then put her in her cot whilst still awake (just). she normally goes off.

going out in the pram is an excellent idea. or the car. I am out and about because of dd1 but dd2 drops off in the car seat and then i bring it in and she stays in the living room with us. I think the noise helps.

cazee. if my dd fallss asleep at the breast i just move her to her cot. she stays asleep

No one 'learns' how to go to sleep. This is a myth perpetuated by parenting gurus who talk about babies as if they are a different species - they are actually just little people.
Babies - granted - can be extremely inconvenient but they thrive better if we throw the rule books in the bin and ditch the scheduling. So do we mothers, who can actually feel empowered by being able to nurture our children with our breasts rather than relying on a lot of silly colourful paraphernalia. I think it is such a shame that mothers are always being encouraged to 'train' babies. You can't spoil a baby by cuddling him - just the opposite you are teaching him that you can be trusted to meet his needs, which develops feelings of self-esteem. Contrary to popular belief, babies are not manipulative, no more are they monsters that need training. Why can't you enjoy your baby while he is still one - this is a fleeting experience. Treat them with love and respect and they'll turn out just fine.

Hmm. I think you are reacting badly to the phrase 'learn' bionicley. I am not an advocate of controlled crying (although I know it works for some people), because I haven't found it to be necessary. However, I think that a routine of bath, story and snuggles is invaluable in signalling to a baby what is about to come next, whether that is a quiet breastfeed to sleep, finger sucking or whatever. In just the same way that a baby learns that mum sitting down and fiddling with her bra strap means food, you can also communicate that it is a wind down part of the day.

Yes of course. Babies can fall into these rhythms and there is nothing wrong with gently encouraging them to - but you can't teach sleep, all babies will sleep!