5 week old - struggling to make sense of sleep!

[sunnyfields25]

Hi

I'm breastfeeding my 5 week old baby and in general we have no routine. I just feed him when he seems hungry and there's no real pattern to it.

At the moment the only way I can get him to sleep is by putting him down after a feed (and some rocking) as he normally finishes feeding asleep. I'm now wondering if I'm doing the right thing though - I keep reading that feeding to sleep is bad. Also last night DH tried to give him a bottle of expressed milk and even though he drank the milk he wasn't at all settled after. I still have to feed him for a bit to settle him (which defeated the object of the bottle!).

But if you don't feed to sleep, then how do you get the baby to sleep? Also it would be great to have a bit of a pattern to the day. Not specific timings, just the order things happen in. I know I should be having period when I play with DS but I can't work out when this is meant to happen... He's asleep straight after feeding and then seems to be ready for feeding again when he wakes up. Where do I fit in things like a bath, walks, playtime etc?! Up until now it's all been a bit of a muddle.

Thanks in advance for any words of wisdom!

You are over thinking it, is this your first child?

The development of healthy sleep habits is a long term thing and will change significantly, many times, during the coming 12 months.

I n the newborn phase, up to about 3 or 4 months old, it is pretty impossible not to feed to sleep. This will be very different for a 6 month old. But for now, all your baby should be doing is feeding and sleeping - so there's no way not to link them at this age.

You don't need a routine. But know that baby won't be awake for long at any time. So your day may consist of repeating cycles of:

Wake > nappy check and 5 minutes floor play > feed > wind cuddle > see if any more milk is wanted > back to sleep > put down

Wake and repeat.... over and over again.

The times for baths and playtime and whatnot will come. Don't worry

Thanks, yes haha first-time mum and I think you're right in that I'm over-thinking it! I felt like we were kind of doing ok, just getting through one day at a time, but then I started reading that I should be thinking about routines and incorporating playtime, bathtime etc. I was panicking that there are all these things I should be doing an am not! And also reading that feeding to settle is terrible . I've decided to ignore that for now though as it feels wrong trying to change something that DS finds comforting, given how little he is.

I hate that people are made to feel guilty for feeding to sleep! It's the most natural way to comfort your tiny child. It's not for everybody, it's not going to make for an independent sleeper at a young age, but if you're both happy, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. I feed my 6mo DS to sleep every night and normally for at least one nap a day (otherwise it's pram, car, sling). I fed my DD to sleep as well and it worked for us.

It sounds like you're doing a great job! I say feed to sleep for as long as you're happy doing it. If you decide you've had enough, you can move to using something like a dummy to get to sleep, or if you carry on until your baby is older, you can start to use other methods like a cup of milk or a soft toy comforter. It's not that big drama that some parenting books/websites make out it is!

But at 5 weeks you really don't need to worry! Congratulations on your baby.

Thanks teaandbiscuits yes some of the things I've read makes it sound like it's the most awful thing I could be doing and I'm setting myself up for a world of pain with a child that will never be able to sleep by himself, which panicked me! But like you say there are other things we can perhaps try as an alternative to feeding a bit further down the line.

Hi

My LO is 5 weeks old and has no set routine.

I follow a healthy chef on instagram where a maternity nurse advised that she should be feeding, playing and sleeping with newborns in that order. So I felt like I've done everything wrong. My LO falls asleep on the breast too. I'm so glad to have seen your post today and read the replies! I feel so much better now.

My only question would be if LO continually feeds - say between 4.30pm -10pm - can this upset their tummy? I always wind her after feeds but she seems to be suffering with her tummy.

GracesMaMa - is this breastfeeding or bottle feeding?

Evening cluster feeding is completely normal fir breastfed babies. They do normally do bits of napping at the breast during the time, I'd be concerned about that sort of extended period without any sleep.

If baby is prone to wind, talk to your health visitor about different feeding positions. Keeping baby's head above the stomach while feeding can help wind. Also unlatch and lie baby on your shoulder for a back rub every now and again.

OP Well my DD was fed to sleep until about 18 months and now she goes to sleep on her own, after a sip of water and couple of stories, cuddling her bunny** so it's definitely not the case that once you start, you can't stop! However, if you'd told me when she was 5 weeks old that I'd be feeding a toddler to sleep, I'd have said no way. But things change. It worked for us and I loved it. At the point where it stopped working for us (I was 6/7mo pregnant and had had enough!), we made a change. It wasn't overnight but we changed things to suit our current needs.

But honestly, at 5 weeks, it's fine! I'd say try not to read too much! (I too read everything when DD was first born too...)

FATEdestiny - she is breastfed and this has been the case the last few nights. I tried infacol but I think it's making her worse. I do a good wind session at the end of a feed as well as in between breast switching but somehow the wind is passing through. I have the 6 week check for us next Tuesday and I am due to go to a baby cafe tomorrow so I will ask the health visitor there in the meantime. Thanks for your advice :)

teaandbiscuitsforme - thanks for sharing your experience - its nice to know that other mums out there have the same issue. I just don't know what to believe sometimes. I should just go with my instinct and not what I read! There are definitely too many view points on it!

GracesMaMa Instincts all the way for me these days! Good luck with your little one.

I never had a playtime as such until they were older. Just interact with baby when they are awake and looking to interact with you. At that age just feed and let sleep when they want. Just go for a walk when you want to.

I generally went for a walk in the morning and then napped in he afternoon when baby napped. Bath routine introduced at 6/7 months when weaning meant baby was messy every day! Otherwise it was a bath whenever I felt necessary maybe every 2/3 days.