How to stop rocking to sleep......

[TheSleeperandTheSpindle]

I have stupidly got into the habit of rocking my DS to sleep for naps and bedtime and I would love to stop but have no idea how I've tried looking back at previous threads but can't find anything, although I'm sure I've seen @FATEdestiny give a fantastic rundown somewhere.

My DS is nearly 8 months. He is a big boy and I'm only 5 feet tall, meaning he is getting too heavy and long for me to rock for very long. I also don't like the association he's now got as I'm sure it's the reason behind his frequent waking/unsettledness at night.

He has around 3 hours of naps a day, between 2-3 naps, and 'sleeps' for around 11 at night. Naps have also started being on me after he was unwell with a very bad cold a few weeks ago He was having naps in his pram before this and being put down in his pram awake and pushed to sleep. His cot has one side removed and is pushed up against our bed. Although he starts the night in his side, he always ends up next to me at some point in the night. It might sound crunchy but I also don't want to do CC or anything that leaves him crying or distressed.

So, after all that rambling What are the steps I need to take? I know it will take time so I'm not looking for a miracle but I would like some of my evening back and perhaps a few hours sleep in one go

Following along as my 9 month dd is a bit of a bruiser and will only be fed or rocked to sleep. I've tried patting and shhhing but she just gets angry that I won't let her stand up or crawl. Bed and nap times are becoming a bit of a battle and it's exhausting! I feel your pain OP, sorry I have no advice

Sorry to hear you're going through this too silk although it does make me feel better that I'm not the only one

Why does no-one tell you that the tiny baby that you instinctively rock to sleep (because you don't know any better) will turn into this massive bruiser who will still demand you lug them about until you dislocate your shoulder??

I recently had my 5am wake up dilemma sorted out by the wonderful advice on here so I'm hoping for pearls of wisdom on this one too. My Mum is the only other person I trust with baby advice, although she rocked to sleep and co-slept with my brother and me in the 80s and we're not still sleeping in her bed so maybe it will all work out eventually

I still rock my nearly 18 month old. But I put a comfy chair in his room and do it in that. Can't really help you with how you stop completely though

badabing How well does your DS sleep at night? I just can't help thinking the rocking to sleep is stopping my DS from getting himself back to sleep when he wakes at night

He sleeps really well at night now, but it took till about 14 months for that to happen. I used to put him in our bed when he woke at night - lazy parent. He's still bad at naps though. I'm sure we'll everything right with our next ones well you will I'll still be lazy

I read the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' book and it was very helpful for weaning off rocking iirc

badabing if you're a lazy parent then so am I. Anything that gets us all some sleep is the way I roll

Thanks for the recommendation itsnice will check the book out.

No expert...but I used to do this too and I've managed to stop it!...in stages! Used to feed to sleep...then progressed to feed until drowsy and rock to sleep...then just rock to sleep....then reduced the amount of rocking night by night until eventually I was just holding him, completely still....then progressed to in cot settling....that's where I'm still at at...took about 2 weeks and it's helped night time sleep massively!! Used to wake hourly...now having nights where he wakes once, maybe twice for really quick re-settle 😬
Currently tackling the in-cot settling...it has involved a tiny bit of CC but like 5-10mins and is honestly ok Good luck x

I had this problem and it's extremely easy to get into this habit I think! At around the 8-9 month point we did 'pick up put down' by Tracy Hogg the baby whisperer... me and my husband took turns he started the first two nights, me the next two nights then we alternated night with each night getting easier and within 4 days massive improvements and by the end of the two weeks we had it cracked, only when he is poorly or teething now does he get up in the night, he's now 14 months, good luck whatever you do it's exhausting having broken sleep 😴

susannaR gives a great summery there, do in stages: "Used to feed to sleep...then progressed to feed until drowsy and rock to sleep...then just rock to sleep....then reduced the amount of rocking night by night until eventually I was just holding him, completely still....then progressed to in cot settling...."

So you first aim will be to still the rockibg when baby is calm and settled. Restart rocking if unsettled, still but still holding when settled. Repeat until asleep.

As this develops there will be more time still and less time rocking. At this point I'd move on to lying down settling in the co sleeper. Now baby is used to being stationary when going to sleep, replace in-arms cuddles for lying down cuddles.

Begin over-the-top. I would start encircl8ng baby. Full length lying really physically close. Eye contact, your hand on chest, cuddles.

I aim for stationary and silent cuddles as much as possible (with the dummy for calmness, I should add). Shushing and gentle patting if unsettled, still and silent (but ever present) when settled.

Key to this method is developing the trust that you're not going to leave until sound asleep. Then over time reduce the amount of reassurance needed.

So from full length body cuddles, move to just hand on chest with you facing baby but not touching apart from your hand. Then once that is accepted start removing your hand when settled (but stay lying eye to eye), hand back only when unsettled then withdrawn once settled.

Then start rolling to face the other way on the bed when settled, rolling back to put your hand on chest if unsettled, roll away when settled. Then sitting up on bed and waiting until asleep. Return if needed, withdraw when settled. Then waiting by the door. Then outside of the door. And so on...

I have recently bought a book. I haven't tried it on a baby but when my son was 1 I got it to help him.sleep. It's called the rabbit who wants to fall asleep.
It kind of works like hypnosis hit it does work.
Here's a link you can check the book out.
I got mine on Amazon
amzn.to/2rPXrHy

Wow, thank you all for your detailed replies!

susannaR I remember reading about your success on another thread, sounds like fantastic progress! Luckily we haven't got the feeding to sleep association to break but will definitely do it in stages like you suggest

FATEdestiny thank you for such detail, it really helps newbies like me. I have started sitting down and just gently jigging my knee to get DS to sleep and it works most of the time. Will definitely start introducing times of stillness. DS never really cries at bedtime so hopefully we can progress to just holding a little quicker. Would you still do naps in the pram? I've done that today to try and stop the sleeping on me habit.

Also, I go back to work in about 3 weeks and my Mum will be having DS at her house, without his cot or pram (she'll just use his car seat on the travel system most days) would you just go with the flow and have her get him to nap any way she can? I'm a teacher so will only be back to work for about 2 weeks before the summer holidays. Should I maybe leave any in cot settling until the summer holidays when I can dedicate real time to having him go to sleep from awake? He will be just over 10 months by the time I go back properly in September.

Would you still do naps in the pram?

There is nothing inherently wrong with all naps being in the pushchair all of the time until naps are dropped. That would certainly give you the flexibility to go places while baby sleep or just stand the pushchair in a dark room when at home and push back and forth to get to sleep, then leave parked there.

That said, I have always preferred cot naps once naps are extended.

I did naps in the bouncy chair until naps were consistantly longer than an hour is. Then once I'd got longer naps I moved them to the cot. However it does lead to being a slave to the nap - life has to revolve around being home for naps and while having multiple naps per day that becomes very restrictive.

Given your return to work situation (I did exactly the same after my second maternity leave, I was a teacher too), I would just get your mum to middle through best she can for those two weeks. Then plan to have a more perminant Plan of Action ready for September.

Muddle* through (autocorrect)

Thanks again FATE all makes perfect sense. My Mum has bought a travel cot for her house so hopefully by Sept DS will be having more independent naps and she can use that or just use the pushchair.

Last night I tried just swaying slightly instead of rocking and DS went to sleep in minutes. He woke when I put him in the cot but I just encircled him like you said and patted his back. He turned onto his front and slept from 7.20-10.45 when he woke for a feed. Same thing happened when I put him back down at 11pm and he slept until 3am! Had another feed (this baby never stops eating ) and we had a little wake up at 5am so I put him in with me and he woke up for the day at 6.20am, which is ideal timing for me when I go back to work. Here's hoping the same thing happens tonight.

I do wonder if I'm mad going back to work for just two weeks but the extra July money and full August money will make it worthwhile