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Sleep

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Original poster

How long does it take your toddler to go to sleep?

17 replies

Sparrowlegs248 · 20/06/2017 22:22

And what do you/they do in the meantime?

I did gradual withdrawal with ds1 when he was 12 months old, to the stage where I put him in the cot, switched mobile on and left the room. It took 10-20 minutes for him to fall asleep. I would hover around to reactivate the mobile after ten minutes as he'd rouse and get up if he wasn't asleep when it turned off (after ten minutes) I was OK doing this. I now have ds2, and ds1 bedtime took a major setback at the time of ds2 being born. His dad was putting him to bed as I had several nights in hospital leading up to the birth and some after, and he was cuddling him to sleep on our bed then transferring to cot. It's taken me ages to get back to him falling to sleep in his cot nicely, but I've put off leaving him. Now though it can take 30-50 minutes. So I'm doing GW again, but I can't really be hanging around to faff with the mobile.

So just wondering what others do - put in cot and go downstairs? Just leave them to it? Do they play, look at books in the cot?

I have a different 30 minute mobile I could use but maybe should be weaning off the mobile.

He has a nap with the radio on low, but not keen on this for bedtime.

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FATEdestiny · 21/06/2017 12:22

Now, with my toddler, I just put in cot, leave and continue with whatever I need to do - upstairs or downstairs. I'm a lot further on with gradual than you though, and my dd older.

I cant say for certain how long it takes her to go to sleep since I don't have a video monitor and the door is shut. I hear nothing on the monitor though, I assume she's at least drowsy within 5 minutes.

In your situation I would completely ditch the mobile. My thoughts are that the triggers for sleep in the long term should be silence, stillness and darkness, nothing more.

I could foresee some degree of waiting for the mobile to finish, thus placing some limitations on how quickly he allows himself to go to sleep.

I would ditch the mobile and not replace with anything - just still, quiet, dark, calm. You should be able to progress quickly through the withdrawal steps until waiting by the open door. Then leave door open but gaff around upstairs until asleep.

Once at this point, gets used to going to sleep without you there, start deliberately shutting door upon leaving. Not stealthily closing it. He may test and call you back, be right there back in his room straight away. He needs to know as soon as he calls, even with the door shut, you will go straight to him. After a few days of testing ypu will come when called, he'll develop the trust and you should then be able to leave him to do all his going to sleep process on his own, behind his closed bedroom door.

user1498035794 · 21/06/2017 13:14

About As long as it takes to read a bed time story.
amzn.to/2rPXrHy
I read this book.and it uses hypnosis type stuff but it works really well for my boy

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 21/06/2017 13:16

Ds 2.9 asks to do his teeth and go to bed!! Usually asleep before the parent who doesn't put him to bed goes up for a kiss!!
A rare breed indeed!!

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 21/06/2017 17:55

Thanks Fate, useful as ever! The mobile has been really useful but I think we are past it now.

He's at Mil tonight (where he sleeps really well, and naps really well.......) but we'll be starting afresh tomorrow night.

Ds 2 fell asleep on his own in his bouncy chair, sacking his thumb while toddler rampaged around earlier. So different!

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Mothervulva · 21/06/2017 18:00

I put mine (2.3) in the cot with some books and they flick through until they are asleep.

WinnerWinnerChickenDinner0 · 21/06/2017 18:14

Mine is nearly 3, but a real handful and we have recently graduated from 1 hour or more cuddling in bed to sleep.

I got him a torch, but it could be any little toy that you know would really float his boat. After I quick cuddle, I told him that I had a really special surprise for him. It's a special torch for him at bed time when mummy has to go to bed. It depends if your ds is at that stage that he can understand new ideas like that, but with lots of building up to a very important toy, just for him at bed time etc, it has worked wonders. It's still not perfect. But in a week bedtime has become a breeze

InsaneDame · 22/06/2017 14:52

Mine is 3.2 years. Since about 15 months I've been able to put him to bed and leave him until he drops off by himself. Now he doesn't usually nap he is asleep within 5 minutes. If he has napped then he lays and chatters quietly to himself until he drops off.

TeaTeaTea · 22/06/2017 15:44

My DS is 19 months, put him in his cot after reading stories, tuck in & kiss goodnight, after his initial protests as I leave it takes around 10mins to be fully asleep (heatwave sleeplessness not included!) I did consider putting books in his cot but figured this would only delay sleeping - we've read the books, now he's in bed to sleep. If he's really not tired enough he'll roll about and sing to his soft toys.
In the meantime I do as FATE does and get on with the evening chores - monitor-watching only stresses me if he's not asleep within the 10mins.

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 22/06/2017 22:04

So tonight, I did use the mobile but just twice. He told me when it went off but laid down and was asleep quite quickly after. I think this is the way forward!

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Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 23/06/2017 08:42

He woke up and did some singing at 5.15 but went back to sleep. And is still asleep!!

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Mothervulva · 23/06/2017 08:53

Sorry, that was meant to be

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 23/06/2017 09:17

that's how I feel! Baby slept in til after 8 too!!

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 23/06/2017 09:59

Ds2 is 21 months and after our horrors with ds1, he has never been rocked to sleep. Always goes in his cot awake and 'lah lahs' to himself. Recently his speech has been developing at an astounding rate (such as several new words and sentences every day for two weeks) and we have noticed it's taking him much longer to fall asleep. 2 hours last night. We heard the whole repertoire through the baby monitor.

We only go in if he cries, otherwise just leave him to it.

Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 23/06/2017 20:00

It's great if they'll go in awake and sing themselves to sleep. Ds1 would just cry when he was younger I've just not put the mobile back on after it went off, he's wailed and triggered it on again. Hmm.

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Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 23/06/2017 20:36

Still waiting. Really need to crack this. Spent almost an hour here now. Not eaten yet!

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Original poster

Sparrowlegs248 · 24/06/2017 20:40

So after yesterday's unheard of lay in, the little toad got up at 4.15 am today. Woke with lots of crying. If he does this one of us gets in the bed in his room with him. I did but although he snuggled down for half an hour he didn't sleep, then was wide awake and up. Napped 45 minutes in the car at 10.15-11am and that's it. Just gone to sleep. Despite walking home with him in the pram for a whole hour at 4pm, so plenty of chance for a nap then.

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