Solve your childs sleep problems

[nik66]

Book by R Ferber
for sale
it really does work
Anyone

is it the old edition?

the one which recommends sleep training from 6 months?

if it is, then please be aware that Ferber has a new edition he no longer advises sleep training till at least 12 months.

i don't know what else he has changed besides that but i suspect he has changed more things.

a lot of sleep research has occurred in the last 15 yrs or so which show that sleep training may not even be a good idea for a 2 yr old.

The edition is 1985- but a lot of the principals are the same - don't think 6 months is any age to be trying trainning of any sort
However - talks lots on sleep association, sleep patternsterrors etc-
I used it with my little girl aged approx 9 months and adapted it with my little boy - think thats the key - read and then adapt - nothing should be taken as gospel -
Am very aware lots of sleep research over past years

I still think the principals are useful- and when you're sleep deprived - you'll try anything!!!

sorry for being a pedant but it is 'principles'.

before you buy a book by ferber to learn about 'sleep associations' and 'sleep patterns' and 'night terrors', can i also recommend you do a google search of the same terms and also add 'dr james mckenna' to the google search?

the google search and material you'll find is free.

ferber is a paediatrician who based his book on what he did to his own children. the original ferberized babies. Mckenna is a mother and infant sleep researcher who investigates how adults and their babies sleep in sleep labs.

also do another search on 'reactive cosleeping' very enlightening.

Do you have shares in the book kiskidee or perhaps related to the author !!!!hmm

nik - my ds is 6.5mths and a terrible sleeper. what did you do and how for your lo's? thinking i may have to go thast route

nik - you there?!

which book and which author nik? deffo not ferber and mckenna doesn't write books. check your facts out or read properly.

ooooo!!! don't get your knickers ina twist Kiskidee- Maybe unlike you, My life is busy enough ( with 3 children- all of whom sleep through the night - so don't actually need to research it )without trawling the internet and spouting like a guru.!!

What is important is that yes, new research is always being produced -however that is not to say that techniques that HAVE worked in the past for individuals do not still have a place today! Just because an idea is old doesn't mean it doesn't have any use - not all research is credible!
As I said When sleep deprived you will try all methods to help you. People should read around the subject and adapt to their own needs - being empowered isn't it !!

oh by the way I do and can read properly - just have a problem with people who are so opinionated and agressive in the way they speak -
Mckenna has done a lot of work -
BUT so have other people

BY the way _ only ever said I had a book for sale - worked for me - didn't say everyone should get one!!

my knickers are fine nik.

btw, this is a SLEEP forum, not a For Sale.

best of luck selling your old outdated book.

kiskidee - you are rather vehement in your spoutings!

kiskidee - "whatever" - not forcing you to buy it !

Have read many of your opinionated rantings on mn - about time you started living in the real world !!
sorry but my life is full, i do not have the need or inclination to send hours googling all these articles you constantly ( on various threads ) refer to and have to say not all very credible - will leave you to rant for yourself , bla bla blah- just hope not too many people bother to listen

me thinks - Big chip on shoulder !!!!:0

cruisemum1 will be on later

nik - look 4ward to it

Don't worry nik, most of us have just started to ignore her! You will find Cruise and me (and many others!) on Sleep is for the weak thread. We will appreciate hearing a new experience to help us

here is something else Ferber himself says he is wrong about:

now that makes it at 2 things since he wrote his book that he has now admitted that he was wrong about.

The bit about independence he says at the end makes me smile as it is the first line of defense for the the CC advocates.

off to eat some cake now. it might help me forget about that chip on my shoulder.

"Dr. Ferber's voice was reassuring. "Well, several things could happen. He might settle at around six months and start sleeping better. Then you've got no problem, if you're happy with the co-sleeping. Or his problems might persist, and the longer they go on the harder it will be to overcome them. At any rate, he's still young enough that you've got some freedom to decide what you want to do. Because either co-sleeping or putting him in his crib can work." "But it says here in your book..." I read him two sentences I had read to my wife during one of our 2 A.M. showdowns: "Although taking your child into bed with you for a night or two may be reasonable if he is ill or very upset about something, for the most part this is not a good idea." And, "Sleeping alone is an important part of his learning to be able to separate from you without anxiety and to see himself as an independent individual."

"I wish I hadn't written those sentences," Ferber replied. "That came out of some of the existing literature. It is a blanket statement that is just not right. There's plenty of examples of co-sleeping where it works out just fine. My feeling now is that children can sleep with or without their parents. What's really important is that the parents work out what they want to do." Back at Logan Airport to catch the shuttle, I called home from a pay phone.

"Guess what. Ferber recanted."

"He recanted?"

"He says he's sorry he ever wrote those words about how co-sleeping in-terferes with the kid's independence." "

whole article here

kiskidee - I only have one more thing to say to you - Lets hope the cake you eat is "Choc Chip!!!!"

so nik - what was it that worked specifically? Am keen to know if it would suit my darling boy.

just buy her book and read it yrself cruise! duh!

KISKIDEE - you are rather patronising.....We are all in the same boat on here. Just mums, looking for answers, trying to do our very best. No need for sarky comments please!

KISKIDEE - sorry thought i'd said my last words to you but...........you know what.................
will say what should have been said to you a long time ago "bothered .... am I ..... look face.... bothered ... NOT BOTHERED........!

Still, maybe its an age or experience thing or just that I AM a nice person ---- am past all the playground fighting .
Put your bottle back in your pram , stop spending all your time on here..... and go out and live a real life....
Thats it have said MY last word to you........really NOT BOTHERED!!!!!!!!!

Sorry all .... will reply soon cruisemum have not got to go and pick up from school.see you

if you can read carefully, you may see that I wasn't even speaking to you. i don't know what is the matter with your knickers, nik.

but if you really are not bothered, then that is really all right by me.

Cruisemum - I have 3 lo's , well the oldest now is 11!! time flies so sleep not a prob for her

Anyway started cc tech when she was about 8 months - HV gave me an article
As a baby she was ...hard work.. very hungry... partly my fault as first time mum and all those anxieties - I was keen to lose baby weight and didn't really eat that well, didn't really have enough milk .. vicious circle. Well after some 8 months and becoming zombified, we seeked help. Yes the old Ferber method.
There were 2 methods ,one harsher than other, we went all out, Settled, left 5 mins, then 10, then 15 on first night ... then gradually extending the periods and it was very... very hard... however in the cold light of day we knew that we couldn't continue to function if we didn't try.
It worked ... really did... after a few nights she began to sleep for longer periods... which in a way became worse for us initially as I, especially, spent all night waking .. worrying why she hadn't woken !!!
Anyway after a few more nights - she really did sleep, this also improved her daytimwe naps, which weren't that good either.

Not saying everyone should go down this route BUT it did work for me

With our next ds - it was I think easier, no longer new mum anxiety, knew what had worked before... more confident, anyway , different baby , he slept brilliantly for the first year, then we hit some problems..... we ourselves went back to the cc BUT adapted it.... we weren't as strict, any way long story short ... it worked but in a different way.
Now 3rd one.... he's now 27 months.... and again used a combination of approaches with him. he is (lucky me ) incredibly chilled and always has been .... big time in the terrible two's at the moment , BUT generally very laid back.
What's the secret .... I don't know really.
If you do want to look at cc then happy to help... with my experience, or answer any question I can .
What does matter at the end of the day is that whatever you do is right for you, your baby and rest of family.....
and ... all my children are great, bright, funny, really good kids, cc has NOT harmed them in anyway shape or form.
Whatever works - is my general belief...[Smile]
prob better if I go over to "sleep ..... weak" what do you think.

nik - thansk for that. SIFTW is where I hang out all the time! I must be a titan