13 months multiple wakings for night feeds

[chillipopcorn1]

Please please please help. I think I'm going mad with sleep deprivation:(
I have 13 month old twins. They're BF but I've more or less stopped daytime feeds except bedtime. They self settle for bed after a story (bathtime, feed, story) and for naps.

They drink some cows milk and water from straw cups in the day but not extremely well. They are really inconsistent with solids intake. They're BLW so hard to always tell what they've eaten but DT2 in particular doesn't seem to eat a lot and won't be spoon fed. DT2 has always been bottom centile for growth and is very diddy. DT1 slightly larger but still small.

They each have slept through the night once or twice (never at the same time though!). Before 5 months they were going to sleep at 7pm and waking once at 3 for a feed then up at 7. Since then it's all gone to pot and seeks to be getting worse.

They each wake at least once between 6:30 and 11pm. If not dealt with they will SCREAM until they wake the other twin and anyone else in neighbourhood. They can be settled with lots and lots of vigorous rocking, shushing, dummy insertion. This takes 15 mins and they will wake around 15 minutes later. Invariably I give in and bf which gets another couple of hours of sleep.

DT2 is waking more or less every 2 hours through the night. DT1 sometimes as much as well. I can't remember the last time DH was in the bed as he needs to sleep for work and I often end up co sleeping with whichever twin is doing worst. They are often ill with colds which makes things worse.

I find it really hard not to feed them in the night. They cry and cry if I don't (then I have them both screaming) and I'm so aware that they are so small that they NEED the calories (and fluid in this heat) and I can't bare to think of them hungry.

BUT. I feel trapped. I'm so so so exhausted. I'm ratty. I don't see a way out of the cycle - they don't eat well, so they need to feed in the night, so they don't need to eat much!

Please help. Any advice. I'm sorry this is so long. In 4 weeks DH will be on holiday and can help more. I'm back to work in September and I also really want to stop BF entirely.

TIA xx

Just to add - DT2 is frequently up for the day at 5am (she just woke at 3:45, I closed my eyes and DT1 started crying for a feed, now I don't even know whether to bother going back to sleep). DT1 would sleep later but I wake her at 6-6:30 so they're not too out of sync for naps.

They nap at roughly 9am for around an hour. Then again at 1pm for 1-2 hours. These naps have not been going well and DT2 in particular can take up to an hour to get down.

My secound born son was EXACTLY like this. We ended up being referred to a paediatric sleep specialist (not one of those sleep consultants a medical doctor) who after going over everything said that basically my son is physically fine (he was very small too but otherwise healthy) and that he just needed to learn to sleep.
His suggestion was for me to go away for a weekend and leave DH to soothe him then when I returned (refreshed!) to just flat out refuse night feeds. It took two loooooonng weeks. Then he started eating so well in the day and sleeping 12 hours at night he went up in centiles and was suddenly a really happy baby.

So my answer night wean it sounds so fucking daunting but you will be on the side soon

Thanks so much chamomiletea for replying. Can I ask how old your son was when you took him to the paediatrician? I know that night weaning is the ultimate answer it's just that, as you say, it seems an impossible goal! It's very hard with two babies to have one kicking off all night and not be able to see to the other.

He was 16 months - and like your twins he was a great sleeper until 5ish months then it was up every hour or so screaming blue murder. I was REALLY opposed to sleep training but then I thought he isn't a tiny baby, his father will be there with him and I can't function (I didn't feel safe driving etc)

If he had have been happy to cosleep and nurse gently without the screaming it would have been ok. It was the constant crying that wore me down.

I did have to have moments of walking out of his room while in the thick of it but it didn't take too long for the screaming to stop it took longer for the wakings though

Why don't you give formula in a bottle chillipopcorn1?

You are right, they need the calories. I would suspect that a main factor in waking frequently is light sleeping due to low level hunger. By that I mean that over 24 hours their calorie intake is on the low side, rather than discrete periods of wanting a feed.

Hi Fate (I was hoping you'd reply!). It's awful to think of them being hungry, but would explain the light sleep. I'm happy to give formula in a bottle but DT2 will not take a bottle at all. DT1 did the other night (I used cows milk) and had 150ml over 3 feeds, which doesn't seem like an awful lot.

You could use cows milk if you have thing about formula. Im not sure on the calorie comparison ml for more - but id definately go for the high calorie option.

Please don't feel bad about the calories / hunger thing. It's not something to take personally. As long as the babies are gaining weight then they are not going hungry. But definately focus on calories. Milk is very calorie dense. Then make sure your weaning foods are as high calorie as possible - avocado, peanut butter, add cream to any sauces. Try to include as much protein as possible, and carbs. Remember that fruit and veg are low calorie foods - you want the high calorie, high fat (but healthy) options.

By 12 months you would normally be expecting milk intake to be a secondary calorie source to proper goid. But if your twins do not have the portion sizes yet, it will be important to maintain milk for the calories.

NHS recommend 1 pint (about 750ml I think?) of full fat milk per day until the age of 2. But that does include milk in the dairy that is part of meals, so doesn't always have to be milk that is drank. But if your twins are chasing extra calories, I would use 750ml as my aim for milk intake, I'd if it was me.

Thank you so much Fate. I will start to tackle the calorie issue (have tried today). They both took a bottle of formula tonight at bedtime so I'm really hoping for an improvement. Thanks for the info and advice.