Naps and bedtime

[FartnissEverbeans]

Hi everyone, I've had good advice on this board before so your input is appreciated

DS is 8mo and until now has been on three naps. He's at nursery during the day and usually naps in the early morning around 8ish, then again twice before I pick him up at 4. He was napping about two and a half hours total until this week and then going to bed around 6/6:30.

Then last week he started crawling (don't know if that's relevant) and we started picking him up at 2 so he hadn't had his last nap yet. But he wasn't tired until about 4, which was a problem because obviously his bedtime then got pushed later.

Last night he eventually went for a nap at 5 (he was exhausted). I fell asleep too and, aside from his usual top up feed at 10, he slept through til our usual wake up time (we all get up for work at 5:30/6am).

Today as an experiment I kept him busy from pick up time at 2pm til 5 and he has fallen fast asleep, at 5pm, within about two minutes! Usually it takes ages to settle him. He was in a much better mood today as well than he has been recently.

My questions are:
Should he be moving to a two nap day now?
Is this a sign that the third nap is being dropped?
Will he always want to go to bed at 5 if he has two naps? Does that sound like a reasonable bedtime? It makes me a bit sad because I won't get much time with him - but will his bedtime get later again soon?

If you are aiming for a 5.30/6am wake up then I would suggest a 6.30pm bedtime. A 5pm bedtime could shift his body clock so much that 4am (or even 3am) become his normal wake up times.

That said, bedtime does often move when transitioning to stop naps. But I wouldn't aim to keep it as early as 5pm.

When dropoing naps, the other two need to change. You don't keep nap 1 and 2 the same and just don't have the 3rd nap. Instead, push both naps later and longer so that they are more evenly spread over the day.

For a 5.30/6am wake up, I'd do naps at 8-9am and 12.30pm-2.30pm then bedtime at 6.30pm. If the lunchtime nap is cut short then I'd add a power nap at around 3.30/4pm rather than an earlier night.

A 5pm bedtime could shift his body clock so much that 4am (or even 3am) become his normal wake up times.

Oh dear god no

Maybe he just needed to catch up on some sleep the last few days... he has been pretty cranky in the evenings. Could that have been because he was learning to crawl?

I'll speak to the nursery about nap times but he seems to be more or less on the schedule you've outlined, although he very rarely naps more than an hour in the early afternoon. I'll try a power nap - this might be a silly question but do you wake them up?? He just gets so grumpy if I do!

It's almost the summer holidays here so I can work on his naptimes. I'm glad he doesn't have to go down at 5pm.

Thanks

My DS transitioned to two naps around 8 months. We managed to get him to change from 9am, 12noon and 3pm to 10am and 2pm. In doing so it meant that he didn't feel a huge jump by losing a nap. So maybe you could hold off on nap 1 and bring nap 3 forward. That way nap 2 disappears. Worked for us and didn't interfere with bedtime of 7pm.

this might be a silly question but do you wake them up?

Yes. Depending on the amount of time you know baby will need to be awake for before bedtime, wake up accordingly.

As to being grumpy when waking, yes this is definately "a thing". Timing this 3rd nap is a delicate balance and frankly, I'm always grateful when it's dropped.

So the grumpyness comes from waking baby from a deep sleep. You ideally want to wake at the end of the first sleep cycle. Wake too soon and baby hasn't had enough restful sleep and is often a nightmare until bedtime. Wake too late and you're into the second sleep cycle and some groggyness, difficulty in waking up properly.

I would say at 8 months baby should be dropping this 3rd nap anytime soon, so I wouldn't worry too much. Work on spacing the other two naps out so that the 3rd isn't needed.

Thanks both of you! Today we weren't working so he had a long nap in the morning and then another long one at about 1:30 - 3pm. He went to sleep unusually easily at 6pm on the dot. I'll talk to nursery about his naps.

Also, one more question if you don't mind - how long is one sleep cycle..?

It depends on the child. In my experience 30-45 minutes.

I should also add that sleep cycles aren't going to be uniform. A middle of the night sleep cycle is likely to be longer than just before waking. A child who's over tired, hungry, fractious, unwell etc is likely to have less time in a deep sleep and more in a light sleep.