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Sleep

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Original poster

Toddler-induced sleep deprivation: Help me...!

22 replies

Diplidophus · 20/03/2007 09:05

DS (26m) used to be a great sleeper and rarely woke in the night. About three months ago he started waking. On average (it's highly variable) he now wakes at about 1 and then at about 4. On both occasions he will demand milk and won't settle until he has it. He will always knock back a full large bottle of milk. I've tried everything: giving him water, refusing, trying to give just cuddle etc etc. Some may sooth temporarily but he will always wake 20 min later. I can't get him to eat anymore in the evenings (he has tea at nursery at about 4).

We are really sick of it now. I am 6m pregnant, work full time and find it hard to get back to sleep, particularly after the early morning feed (even if DP sees to him which he normally does). I am exhausted.

Hee...eeelp meeeee.

OP posts:

Original poster

Diplidophus · 20/03/2007 10:27

bump

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Original poster

Diplidophus · 20/03/2007 11:37

no one?

are your toddlers all sleeping through the night?

would you like to swap - he's dear little boy otherwise.

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Original poster

Diplidophus · 20/03/2007 13:37

ALthough he does get an awful lot of colds.

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Scootergirl · 20/03/2007 13:38

What about some kind of dream feed before you go to bed? I know people do it with babies but maybe you could do it with toddlers too.
And could you either ask nursery to give him less so he can have something at home or even try a bowl of cereal before bed?

KathyMCMLXXII · 20/03/2007 13:39

Can't help but wanted to post sympathy! Poor you.
Maybe you could get signed off sick for a rest for a week or two?

LilyLoo · 20/03/2007 13:41

Had exactly same with my DS just started with full bowl of cereal but have removed bottle completely and she has anyway up cup with milk in doesn't wake at all since we introduced it so wondered if it was comfort associated to bottle .

Original poster

Diplidophus · 20/03/2007 13:43

The cereal sounds like a good idea. I think he would snack on something he likes (typically crisps etc.) He loves cereal and this may help fill him up and isn't unhealthy.

I tried the dream feed a while back, I'll give it another go.

Kathy - we're on holiday for two weeks after Easter, can't wait!

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piglit · 20/03/2007 13:43

Grim though it is I think you have to stick this one out and have a bit of a battle with him for 3 or 4 nights. My ds1 who is 2.5 would love to have milk a hundred times a day and if he wakes up at night (only when he's poorly) he'll shout "milk mummy". He did it about 4 times last night (he is very poorly at the moment) and in the end I went in and said "you don't have milk at night. You know you don't. End of discussion. Go to sleep" in my mummy-has-had-enough-and-is-really-tired voice. . He does always have a beaker of water in his cot just in case he is thirsty.

I know it's a really awful to have the battle, especially when you are 6 months pg but, believe me, that's nothing compared to waking 3 or 4 times a night with a new baby as well as a toddler. My ds1 was 12 months old when ds2 was born and it was sheer hell because ds1 was still waking at night.

Good luck.

specialmagiclady · 20/03/2007 13:43

Oh my word, you poor cow! Couldn't read and not post, but not sure if I can help at all!

4pm does sound awful early to be having tea - when my DS goes to nursery and has tea at 4pm I always give him a little something, like breadsticks and houmous or some such before he goes to bed. Because no way could I go through from 4pm to 7am with nothing!

Have you tried gradually watering down the milk? Or increasing the amount of milkyness (cheese, yogurt etc) he gets as solid food during the day?

Is he getting enough to drink during the day? Could be a bit hungry and a lot thirsty iyswim. Can you talk to nursery about what he's eating and drinking and get them to monitor it more closely?

Is he fully teethed up? Have you tried drugging him?

Sorry I just don't know what I'd do with that situation and nothing really obvious to pin it on. Good luck!

CarGirl · 20/03/2007 13:44

yes it just struck why is he still having a bottle at all at 26m? is he unnerved by the near arrival of new baby (everyone talking about it etc), is it a comfort thing.

I suggest ditching the bottle use a sippy cup for milk only and try giving him supper before be. You have my sympathies dd3 can wake anything from 1-3 times per night - she is just awake and feels it is totally appropriate to come tell us - thanks dd!

Original poster

Diplidophus · 20/03/2007 13:45

LillyLoo

I have tried giving him milk in a variety of receptacles - he just spits it out (happily uses them for anything else).
How did you get your boy off the bottle?

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CarGirl · 20/03/2007 13:47

Just went cold turkey with the most resistant one - said if she wanted milk it had to be in a cup (I use an avent one) or no milk. I learnt and ditched the bottles at 12 months with the younger ones who thought it was a bit odd for a few days and then got on with it!

LilyLoo · 20/03/2007 13:49

I absolutely dreaded it (sorry meant my dd) but just went cold turkey removed them all out of sight. Made fuss of taking her to choose new cup and she did ask for bottle for couple of days but then she gave in and happily takes the bottle we have had no night wakes since. I knew it wasn't hunger or thirst just becoming a habit i had to break. Don't know if it will work but worth a try.

LilyLoo · 20/03/2007 13:50

happily takes cup sorry

CarGirl · 20/03/2007 13:51

possibly bribe with him using a big boy cup to have milk sat at the table as I think lots of toddler cups have a bit of a funny taste about them?

Original poster

Diplidophus · 20/03/2007 13:52

Thanks everyone.

I have been asking the nursery to closely monitor his food (he's a fussy unpredictable eater). I'm never too convinced that they really notice what he's having though. Because he does down the milk rapidly I do think he is actually hungry. He is always thirsty when I pick him from nursery and so has a lot to drink in the evenings. Maybe it is this that is filling him up and stopping him having supper (I always try to get him to eat come). He will only have a 1/3 bottle tops of milk before he goes to bed.

We keep having good resolutions about we won't cave in - it's another thing entirely when you've listened to a toddler scream for 20 min repeatedly in the middle of the night.

He also has perforated eardrums from repeated infections and I wonder how they affect him.

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piglit · 20/03/2007 13:58

I understand completely Diplidophus. I am about to have the same battle with ds2 (1.4) and I'm dreading it. I really do think that if you can bear to do it, going cold turkey will be the best way to do it, especially at that age when they understand what you're telling them. You'll also find his appetite is better when he's not guzzling lots of milk at night. (Why I can't follow my own advice I'll never know....)

Anyway, just a suggestion. I hope it all works itself out in the end.

LilyLoo · 20/03/2007 14:01

I think i would mention the fact that he is very thirsty then to nursery and see if they can give him more to drink throught the day. This should have knock on effect to him drinking too much to have supper. Then give him cup of milk at bedtime my dd now wakes with some still left in it but like your ds she was having two to three large bottles a night.

Original poster

Diplidophus · 20/03/2007 14:20

Thanks for all you tips so....

Ask nursery to offer him more drinks.
Try offering cereal in the evenings
Put all bottles out of sight, only use cups from now on.
Don't give in and only give water at night.

wish me luck...

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Scootergirl · 20/03/2007 14:32

Will be thinking of you tonight!

LilyLoo · 20/03/2007 15:50

good luck p.s i do send her with milk in the cup to bed as thought it would be better to stage it as agree can't bear the controlled crying stuff and up to now hasn't been necessary .

specialmagiclady · 20/03/2007 20:09

Good strategy - and it's not the ears - sucking hurts when you have sore ears.

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