Seven month old sleep

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Help! I'm exhausted! I have a seven month old DS who has never slept through. He goes down to sleep easily enough between seven and eight and sleeps until around midnight. Then he's up at least every two hours. I used to go to bed with him at sevenish but decided I wanted some adult time so pushed it back to nine or ten. He's EBF and we've moved him to his own room. It hasn't improved things at all. I cannot settle him anyway other than boob. I'm utterly wrecked and cannot sleep during the day. How do I cope?

Not sure how helpful this is, but my DS woke up every two hours until he was ten months old, and seems to have (finally) started getting better of his own accord. At 10 months he started mostly only waking up 3 times; he's just turned one and most nights he only wakes up twice (we've even had one night with only one wake up - hallelujah!!)
That might sound like rather slow progress, and I'm sure others can give good advice on sleep training if you don't feel you can wait it out, but just in case that gives you a bit of hope.
Personally I've found co-sleeping to be the best way to cope with broken nights, especially if you're still breastfeeding as you can feed lying down and it's much less exhausting than having to get out of bed each time your baby wakes.
Fingers crossed your nights improve - I know how hard it can be!

I have been cosleeping but wanted to sleep in the same bed as my DP again. I'd try sleep training but have no idea where to start- my local NHS/ HV seem to be very much against it. Exhaustion doesn't help either- tried just dummy or just rocking him to sleep but I literally haven't got the strength by about three am. Poor boy is so tired during the day too-he fights day time naps to the point he's crying with exhaustion. Seriously tempted to try formula- anybody have any success with it regarding sleep?

Have you tried lying in your bed to feed to sleep for at least one of his naps? At least then you can rest at the same time.

No help because I'm in the same situation! But just wanted to say I wouldn't worry too much about the boobing back to sleep...I have just endured 3 horrendous nights with my EBF 7month old DS, where I held him in my arms and settled him with dummy, every hour from 10pm-6am...in the hope that if I night weaned him he would sleep better.
...well no 😞 night 4 and I'm not sure I can do it again! It's actually easier, and quicker just to feed back to sleep!

Why can't DP sleep in bed with you and baby?

I would remove one side off the cot and wedge it up to your bed so it becomes an extension of your bed. Then have baby between cot and you, sometimes in cot with you cuddling into the cot from your bed. Then DP the other side of you so you can roll over for a snuggle whenever needed.

At 7 months old and with the absence of any alternate way to comfort baby, I would just feed to sleep and stop battling against it. I'd also called for naps, when at home.

"I'd also cosleep* for naps, when at home"

Because I can't cope with both DP snoring and DS fidgeting. It means no sleep for me at all. Just going to have to be a zombie until he starts sleeping through I think. It's a shame as I'm actually hating every single day now. Haven't slept more than three hours since he was born. I had no idea how hellish looking after a baby could be. I have constant headaches, forget things and take no pleasure in life whatsoever. It's turned into a miserable, mindless slog.

Have you spoken to your doctor about how you are feeling? The catastrophosising is a strong suggestion of post natal depression.

I think you are in the majority in being overwhelmed by new motherhood, I don't think our society does a good job in properly preparing first time parents on the hard slog that is the reality of early parenthood.

However, even taking that into account, most parents wouldn't describe something like hating every single day. So I suspect you might need some additional mental health support there.

In terms of practical help - maximise your own sleep.

If bf to sleep is baby's only method of getting to sleep, accept it for now. It will all be different by 12 months old. For now, accept you need to bf to sleep and maximise your sleep. I would imagine that would involve baby sleeping next to you with your top off and free access to the breast.

Formula may help to give you a break, but it's not going to solve any problems in your situation. The issue is breastfeed = comfort. The only way to break that is to establish alternate comfort and with your frame of mind currently, that might be difficult.

I thought that PND was when there is no cause to the misery- I would stop feeling this way if I could have seven hours sleep now and again. I take your point though that looking at the gloomy side probably isn't helping. Cosleeping really is not practical anymore. Wish it was.

There's a few different methods of sleep training - pick up/put down, gradual retreat, controlled crying of various types. You can Google them and have a read, see if you think you could try one of them.

When he feeds at night, is he taking a lot of milk or is it more of a comfort feed?

If he isn't too hungry, you could think about one of the methods of sleep training. I'm sure co-sleeping and trying to sleep through the day work for some people but they also don't work for everyone. In my opinion, teaching a baby/child to sleep through more than 2 hours is one of the most important things you can do as a parent, as everyone is happier and better with more sleep.

We did Jo Frost's gentle controlled crying a little while ago with our then 6mo and it worked very well. There was a lot of whinging but no hysterical crying and in a few nights he found a way to settle himself to sleep in the middle of the night. He often has to come in with us about 5am, but obviously 8-5 is still wonderful.

Good luck - have a read around and see if anything sounds doable. There's absolutely nothing wrong with some gentle sleep training at his age.

I thought that PND was when there is no cause to the misery

Difficulty coping and adjusting to parenthood can be reason enough.

In the kindest possible way, babies who sleep in the way yours does are not uncommon. But it is uncommon to use phrases like

hating every single day
hellish
no pleasure in life whatsoever
miserable
mindless slog

I don't mean to be rude or offensive, but these days are passing you by and you don't need to be do unhappy.

Those who do have frequently waking babies generally do things to maximise and prioritise their sleep dispite baby's sleep. Going to bed early, sleeping at every given opportunity in the day.

Did you know that sleeping when given the opportunity to whilst sleep deprived is in itself a red flag symptom of PND?

There are lots of things you can do to help improve baby sleep more and for you to sleep more. Every single option is easier to face when not feeling so down. Why not get some medical or talking help?

Correction: "Did you know that not sleeping when given the opportunity to whilst sleep deprived is in itself a red flag symptom of PND?"

I'm not entirely convinced the above statement is true? What's the source?

I don't sleep in the day when mine sleep. Never have. I should. Maybe. But then I have a more restless night if I do... so... 🤔

About not sleeping when tired user1489434024? Certainly your GP would give proper advice on this, much better than some random online.

I don't know the extent of your sleep deprivation and have no idea of your situation. I can draw no parallels to the op or pass any comment on your situation, so I draw no conclusions from your method of sleep.

Certainly if being tired alone was the only thing suggested in the ops post, my reply would be very different. But there are many other aspects to take into account the bigger picture.

🙄 ok

Over the next six months, your baby's sleep needs won't change much. From 6 to 8 months, a baby should get an average of 11 uninterrupted hours of sleep each night and 3.5 hours each day, spread out over two to three naps (a morning, afternoon, and late-afternoon nap). From nine to 12 months, the amount of hours of sleep at night stays at 11, but Baby needs only three hours of sleep during the day, with the number of naps dropping to two (the short late-afternoon nap will be eliminated).

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You poor thing, that sounds awful. I second the pp's advice of sleep training and if you can afford it, do it with a sleep consultant.

My daughter is the same age as your little one and we sleep trained her at 5.5 months as I was petrified of the impact of such little sleep on her development at the time. The difference has been life changing. We still have bumps and regressions but I am confident in dealing with them and she is generally happy because her overall sleep is good.

From my experience, the sleep consultant doesn't tell you things that aren't available in books but they personalise the method of sleep training to your style of parenting and are there to discuss with every step of the way. When things don't work as planned, they are able to explain why and how to work around it. There is often protesting along the way but that doesn't mean you have to leave your baby to cry alone, you can be there to soothe them whilst also making them realise they have to sleep.

Make sure your expectations are realistic before paying the consultant, I discussed these with her before deciding whether to go ahead - my daughter is also EBF and not on 3 full meals so she doesn't sleep through and I am completely happy with that. On a good day, she does do a 8-10 hour stretch from 7pm-3/4/5am then feed and back to sleep so I get 5-6 hours uninterrupted sleep if I get myself to bed on time. She also naps fairly consistently so I can get things done during the day too.

Really hope you find a solution and things improve for you

I'm right there with you. My 7 month old ebf baby used to sleep nice big stretches but since 4 months she only does 2 hours max. We cosleep but I hate it and it means I feel like a zombie but she won't go in the cot and I just can't find the energy in the middle of the night. I think we are going to try a sleep consultant.