What am I doing wrong?

[Jasquers]

My DS is 27 weeks.
He has never slept all night, waking at least twice to feed. I am Ebf with some solids in the day.
The last few weeks however have been getting progressively worse, with multiple wakings and being awake for long periods.
Last night he woke at midnight for a feed. He went back to sleep immediately but woke at 230am. I left him to settle but he was still awake at 315 so I fed him again. He wasnt very hungry. He then stayed awake until after 5am-fairly happy until I start patting him to sleep- when he finally gave in and slept until 7ish.
The night before he woke twice for a feed and was up for the day at 515!

He sleeps around 3 hours in the day spread over 3 naps (the last being a cat nap around 4ish). He goes to sleep between 715-730 and self settles.

Why are the nights so horrendous? I think last night he must have only clocked 8 hours sleep in total. We co-sleep and I am starting to wonder if this is causing these issues

Any ideas gratefully received!!

This all sounds normal to me but apparently there are babies that sleep full nights, I've never met a real one though.
so I'm watching this thread with interest because my baby is nearly 1 and still waking once ( and I think this is great progress!!!)

I have done a good bit of reading and this along with my own experience says that there is a sleep regression at 4 months, then another one at 6 months, 7 months, 8 and a half months, 10 months, then just before their 1st birthday......

I hope you find answers and share them! Wishing you a good night sleep soon x

You're not doing anything wrong. Don't blame yourself. By all means look for solutions but don't think it's all down to you. All kids are different. My two were both terrible sleepers but in different ways, and I spent way too much energy trying to "fix" them. Don't beat yourself up about it, keep repeating "it's just a phase". Good luck.

She's right you know.

Thanks. I know every baby is different but I cant help comparing him to my DS who, after a terrible start, was sleeping 12 hours at this age.
Its the long periods of being awake in the middle of the night that baffle me!

When you are long term (as in past 3-4 months old) cosleeping and breastfeeding to sleep, the single most important thing to do is set yourself realistic expectations and don't fight against then

You are your baby's source of comfort, your presence and the comfort sucking. So baby is going to need you. By all means start to introduce a comforter toy/blankie but if I'd probably won't be bonded with until past 12 months. So again, realistic expectations in terms of the time-scale to independant sleeping.

The second most important thing is maximising your sleep. So develop techniques to settle (or ignore!) baby while disrupting your sleep as little as possible.

Sleep with ear plugs, you'll still hear baby in bed with you but it will stop all background noise. Likewise start using an eye mask. Keep your room dark with blackout blinds. Turn your clock around so you can't see it (amazing psychological effect of how you feel less tired when you don't know when you woke up or for how long). Then the obvious things - reduce your evening screen time, go to bed early, have a bath just before bed, rest with baby in the daytime.

Development leap to ready him for crawling. Gut changes with the solid food. Lots of adjustment - his brain is in overdrive.

Perhaps try seeing it as a positive step rather than an annoying one?

Not necessarily.
Some babies crawl at 6 .
My dd didn't crawl until 12.5 months old

Yes, mine crawled straight after the 6 month leap and was walking at 9 months (after the 8 month leap).

That doesn't equal every baby though .
Your babies crawled and walked on the early side .
Like I said dd is 15.5 months .
Crawled at 12.5. Still not walking yet . Just pulling up and cruusing.

It's not correct imo to say this is a development leap caused by crawling

If you're co-sleeping and BF, I'd just feed at every wake up and get both of you back to sleep whilst he's in this phase. Like Fate said, you're him comfort so you may as well use it to its full advantage. He also might be waking a bit more with the warmer weather and needing a drink.

It's a development link needed for crawling. I didn't say the crawling had to be imminent.

Teaandbiscuitsforme-I do feed at every waking (tho I try and leave him to self settle if its only been 2 hours since his last feed!). When he woke for the second time I fed him but he pulled away not hungry and was awake for 2 hours! Nothing I could do enticed him back to sleep. Patting him annoyed him. He was just squealing with delight.

My DD used to do that. Awake for exactly 2 hours in the night during leaps. Could set your watch by her. We (me had her) just went with it.

Will be take a dummy Jasquers?

TittyGolightly - no it isn't. Unhelpful projection to assume all babies develop on the same time frames as your child. The scale of normal for gross motor skill development is vast. As is fine motor skills development and the time frame for sleep development.

Sleep often regresses alongside gross motor skill developments. Motor skill developments (and corresponding affect on sleep) happens in time frames that can be wildly different in individuals.

My post was in relation to the ridiculous suggestion that sleep regression at 6 months is anything to do with crawling if the child didn't crawl until gone 12 months.

No FATE he will not take a dummy. Im not sure that would help as he doesnt even want me for comfort. He's not upset. Just seems excited, wanting to play!

That's what I meant to.
I doubt my dd went through a leap at 6 months about crawling .
She crawled 6 months later and I've never noticed her sleep go to shit before a new skill as of yet .
I don't really buy into the " wonder weeks " tbh .

Also...he tends to suck his hand to self soothe

I did also mention it could be disturbance from the guy given he's recently started solids.

Worst regressions for us came around language acquisition, by the way. They aren't always about gross motor skills.

The brain develops more between 0 and 1 than at any time in a human's life. Babies double their weight and size in that first year.

I think expecting sleep - where most of this growth and development takes place - to. E an easy ride is ridiculous.

To be.

No-one is suggesting sleep and development isn't linked. Sleep is linked to physical, intellectual and emotional developments. Just they happen at wildly different ages - which was Timetogrowup2016 entire point.

Jasquers - have you got a cot in your room at all? Even if unused?

You could remove one side off the cot and butt it up to the side of your bed. It might mean that you can still cosleep, but also give baby his own space at the same time. Then, while he's awake but not upset, it might make it easier for you to size and ignore.

Doze* and ignore

My little girl is exactly like this - although she is in her own cot in our room. She started at 5 months, and I was obsessively trying to work out what I was doing wrong, but eventually I decided we would just have to go with it. It was making me far more stressed blaming myself and seeing it as something I had to fix. Like you say, she often didn't seem very hungry. She is now 8 months, and I would say (very, very cautiously because we have had so many times it seemed a little better then got worse) that things have been very slightly better the last 2-3 weeks. Not as in every night is better, but the proportion of OK nights is slowly increasing. Of course it could all fall apart any time! I always worry about the lack of sleep affecting her, but her mood never seems particularly different on the days after she sleeps poorly, as long as she naps OK. So I honestly don't think you are doing it wrong! And I hope it improves for you (and me!) soon.

He starts off in his own cot in my room but then I normally move him into the bed when he wakes after the first feed.