Not coping

[Feefeefs]

25 week old, breastfed, sleep is terrible. Needs to be bounced to sleep every night, takes 40 mins then will wake up at least 3-4 times a night often for 2-3 hours last night was 4 hours. Cannot self settle at all. Does not breastfeed to sleep. Tried co-sleeping doesn't work she gets excited. All daytime naps are in the sling or pram won't nap anywhere else.

People say "do what you need to do to get more sleep"? No idea what to do. Husband is very helpful but we are both burnt out and I think I am getting to the point of developing post natal depression as I spend all day and night worrying about her sleeping. I understand that it is unreasonable to expect her to sleep all night but am physically exhausted with every wake up taking at least 60mins of rocking/bouncing etc.

She is otherwise a very happy little girl and on the 91st centipede for weight and 98th for length.

I feel like CC IS INEVITABLE but I'm terrified we're going to fuck her up by doing it.

I had 91st/98th centile chunk of a DD too. She was DC4 though, so, put frankly, I was far less precious about breastfeeding than I had been with my firstborn.

I started mix feeding by 4 months and then was fully formula feeding by 5-6 months. This meant that i could massively increase her daytime feeds. Dont worry you can do this breastfeeding to, so if you want to carry on EBF, you can.

I was giving full feeds every 2 hours through the daytime. By "daytime" I mean 7am to 11pm, i.e. my daytime - 7am 9am 11am 1pm 3pm 5pm 7pm (bedtime) 9pm 11pm. Not snack amounts, but the amount other babies her age were having every 3 or 4 hours my chunk was having 9 times per day between me getting up and me going to bed. I'm talking over double the amount other babies might have.

So my first suggestion here is calories. Feed, Feed, Feed, Feed, feed.

Next - dummy. Some babies don't take to them straight away but it's worth the perseverance. Without question dummy use will be less painful than controlled crying and/or sleep deprivation.

Next - bouncy chair for naps. With dummy and with baby jam packed full of calories through our the day. Then be relentless about it. Sit on the sofa, bouncer at your feet and just keep going and going and going with your foot- relentless and non stop foot bouncing.

Next - limit awake time through the daytime. When baby wakes up, look at the click. Feed baby, have a play or cuddle and then once the clock says 60 minutes from waking up - back in the bouncer. You want baby back to sleep within 90m max. Repeat this all through the daytime.

Finally - talk to the doctors about post natal depression. No-one gains from being a martyr. Get the medical help you need for your mental well being.

What happens if you stop the bouncing? Why do you feel you have to bounce her for an hour? Is it to stop her crying?
My daughter was a happy baby but often used to start crying when she was tired then after a few minutes go to sleep. If I had picked her up it would have kept her awake.
Your dd sounds very happy and healthy and I am sure you would not do any damage by trying controlled crying, she needs to learn to go to sleep on her own and you would be doing her a favour. Also if it helps you get more sleep it will be a good thing, as you will then be able to look after her better.
Hang on in there you are doing a good job.

We have bizarrely just had two nights of good sleep! With one wake up at 2am and then up for the day at 6am. I actually think it's coincided with lengthening the time between day time naps from 2-21/2 hours. She is a very alert baby. I have tried the bouncy chair for naps but no luck. 90 mins between naps seems really short at 6 months old?

The bouncing at night is to stop crying, once she gets worked up she is up for hours! We are trying to let her babble away a bit more and not be quite so responsive!

She feeds around every two hours during the day usually full feeds both breasts. I don't want to change to formula, she has reflux as well so wouldn't want to change too much. We have started baby led weaning and she is managing to eat more past couple of days so hopefully this is helping. Will keep trying to boost kcal.

Might try a dummy again, we have tried a couple of times with no luck but will try again.

I think we have been lucky still the PST couple of nights CC may still be an option. I wish I could find a balanced opinion on it! Seems to be the best thing ever or the worst thing ever!

Glad things are better! There are usually ups and downs, so don't sweat the odd few days of crap sleep.

90 minutes awake time is fine for babies sleeping short (less than 45 minute) naps. Not for babies sleeping longer though.

I also wrote my post above on an "emergency, I can't cope, something needs to change" basis - given the tone and title of the thread. 90 mins awake time is always a good way to get out of an over tired cycle, regardless of baby's age.

She has never been a "good" sleeper so not really sure what changed!? I think it must be the food. Thanks for your help.

Also it was most definitely not an odd few days we were at three months of that getting worse every night. Just in case I gave the wrong impression! Seeing GP this week also. How lovely by would you do the 90 mins sleep cycle for?