Please tell me things will get better

[StripyDeckchair]

My first baby is just over two weeks old and I feel so awful. I know it's very early but I went to try out a group earlier in the week and they were all talking about their little ones waking every three hours for breastfeeds in the night and going to sleep inbetween.

My DS is awake and feeding (bf) between 8/9am and 2am every day. The past four days he has slept 3 hours between 2 and 5 and then woken for more feeding before sleeping 2 more hours until he wakes up properly at 8/9.

I know that means I'm getting a couple of stretches but I'm really, really struggling. I feel like I'm utterly crap at this and I cry and cry every evening in anticipation of the night ahead.

He feeds frequently (about once an hour) all day and does sleep inbetween but won't be put down to sleep. He ups the feeding rate to virtually constant from the early evening onwards.

MW tried to persuade me to cosleep so he can feed whenever he wants and I get some sleep. He won't be put down in his crib until 2am at all - he just cries instantly. I have been cosleeping for the first part of the night but I hate it because I keep waking up with a start panicking about him. I'm so worried it is not safe and I can't get past that.

He did have an afternoon nap on one day recently but that doesn't seem to be part of a pattern.

On top of this at nighttime nappy changes he screams like nothing I have ever heard. It reduces me to tears every time and the changes seem to take forever.

I have no family nearby and no friends as we are new to the area. DH has gone back to work.

The thing is I want to feed him whenever he needs feeding - especially as he dropped a lot of weight initially and we had trouble getting him established.

I just don't understand how he can feed for 40 mins, feeding himself to sleep, then wake after less than 10 mins crying with hunger.

I have had latch, positioning, his tongue, everything checked by MW, HV, hospital (when we were struggling to establish feeding) and have sought out bf support group.

Last night I caught myself saying I couldn't go on living if things carried on like this. Please, please tell me there is some hope.

[StripyDeckchair]

At last! Some success last night. Combination of warming the crib, tucking some used breast pads round the sides and blasting out the hairdryer sound, together with a pattern of feed-change-feed again, meant he slept in the crib for a stretch of 2.5 hours and then another 2 hours and then a nap of 1 hour 45 in the morning. He still wakes up as soon as the noise stops but he seemed calmer all round. The first stretch was at 12. He has he never slept at night anywhere but in our arms before 2am previously.

Thanks so much all. I'm going to keep trying other things and see where we get to. Any other tips gratefully received.

[teapotter]

My first had terrible colic or reflux, we never found out which. 20 min naps max and

[StripyDeckchair]

We've just started tiger in a tree today and he loves it, which is great. Our Ewan was just delivered so will have to see if that has any effect.
Yes - getting to hate the books.

[Endlesslllove]

Sounds tough! You're doing an amazing job! Do you have a baby carrier? A stretchy wrap was really useful to me for the early days and I switched to an ergo around 6 months. Mine will always nap in a carrier and I can potter a bit. Hope things get easier for you soon, I remember feeling like a zombie for the first couple of months but it does pass!